3 month old and naps

(8 Posts)
seven201 Sat 17-Sep-16 18:03:54

Sorry this is long!

Hi, my dd is 3 months. She is good at night in that she only gets up twice ish. At night she has a bottle of formula and then sometimes also a bit of breast to fall asleep. Then she is transferred into her sleepyhead in a bedside cot with a white noise machine.

The problem we have is lack of sleep during the day. If she does nap it's often very short and on me after falling asleep feeding. If I try to then move her 95% of the time she will wake up.

I have briefly tried the baby whisperer technique of shh pat after sleepy cues but it says the baby should be full. Problem is my daughter snack feeds all day long as in won't go more than 20 mins between a feed. I think this is because of her reflux (on medicine but maybe not enough yet). She also has cow's milk protein allergy which can make her very very windy and have irregular explosive poos. So i don't feel she meets the criteria of being full and content.

We have tried white noise, dummy (always spits it out), titled bed etc. I think she's now at the age that we should do something but I'm worried about her never being full enough to be content enough to sleep if you see what I mean. As soon as she wakes up from any nap, long or short she wants food. Her weight gain is steady and whilst I think some of it is comfort sucking I don't think most of it is, I think she's just a very slow feeder. Hv isn't worried about how she feeds and has in the past said I need to 'go with the flow' in terms of routine due to her reflux etc. My MIL has said before we should 'just put her down' and today said we are making a rod for our own backs by feeding her to sleep. I agree to a certain extent would not tell her that! But I don't know what we 'should' do in our circumstances. She goes from crying to screaming pretty darn quickly and then takes a very long time to calm down again. She hates her pram and car seat by the way and only likes being front facing in a carrier-- I know it's not meant to be until 5 months but she has good head control and I watch her carefully.--

Usually I just let her rule the roost but sometimes I have to go out and can't stay on the sofa all day eating bourbons with my legs crossed. Today she got massively overtired as she was being passed around so much but then couldn't sleep as the in-laws tried to put her down to sleep and she just kept jumping awake when her body hit the bed. She was then so past tired that she wouldn't even feed to sleep not helped my mil playing peek a boo with her after failed putting down!

Should we try baby whisperer shhh pat properly or is it not going to work as my dd is never truly full? I don't particularly want to give her more formula than I do now. Should I just accept she needs to nap on me after a breast feed? I would be fine with that if there was any kind of pattern to her wanting to nap but it's always at random times.

Any advice? TIA

JohnLapsleyParlabane Sat 17-Sep-16 18:09:58

Frankly, I'd tell your MiL to butt out. Then think about what you want to happen. If you want to get your baby into a firm routine then choose your method and go for it. I personally went for the bourbons on the sofa option and now, at 10months, she's firmed up her routine with very little guidance from me.
I also think that the 'rod for your own back' brigade are chatting shit.

tinymeteor Sat 17-Sep-16 20:29:02

Sounds like you're in the classic position of getting conflicting advice from people who sound totally sure they're right, and when you're tired it's impossible to sift through it. Mumsnet is the same, it can be a wonderful source of support but there's also a good chance this thread will come up with yet more opinions, many of which will conflict with each other.

You've got a lot on your hands with CMPI and reflux. Take your time finding a routine that works for you and your baby. Don't worry about a rod for your back, that's way overstated in my experience. Have a think about how much routine you want to aim for, and do it step by step. Nothing works overnight and even the most routinised baby has off days when they don't feel like doing any of it. And if going with the flow suits your personality and her feeding patterns better, do that.

As for naps, mine didn't nap well at that age - not in a cot anyway. If naps are in a sling or the pram for a while that's totally fine.

seven201 Sat 17-Sep-16 20:55:36

Thanks both! I think I am a bit overwhelmed by conflicting advice and research. I think I will give it a little longer of going with the flow (not what I particularly want but I think that's probably what my dd needs for a bit longer). My medium term plan is to be able to leave the house without it being stressful for all concerned. The other day a lovely lady bought me a cup of tea when I arrived in a coffee shop looking stressed with a screaming baby smile. Don't get me started on my MIL because I'd never stop! Thanks again

29redshoes Sun 18-Sep-16 22:45:46

Has she been checked for tongue tie?

seven201 Mon 19-Sep-16 14:21:36

Yes and get tongue is fine.

seven201 Mon 19-Sep-16 14:22:05

Yes and her tongue is fine.

user1472028391 Fri 23-Sep-16 12:29:58

I think the hardest thing is people giving advice - I am also a first time month to a 3 month old and got so stressed with what I should and should not be doing based in what people would say.

Just go with the flow and do what you and your baby need. My little one gets overstimulated very quickly and needs a routine. I therefore try to stick to a routine for a majority of the week (not so bad as I have friends over and get a chance to catch up with things at home!) and anything new I do in short snaps and make sure the next day is back to the routine so it doesn't unsettle him too much.

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