Separation anxiety or did I create cosleeping dependency?

(2 Posts)
Specialapplek Wed 14-Sep-16 21:03:58

DD is 20 months old. We sleep trained her at 8 months and she's generally been a good sleeper since. (In her own room in her cot)

Last week we went on holiday and she wasn't able to settle in her room and woke up every few hours crying hysterically. I started cosleeping with her from the 3rd night onwards. DH had to leave our bed and go to sleep in her room as she refused to have him anywhere near her during the night.

We've been home for 5 nights now and DD refuses to go to sleep in her cot. I used to put her down in her cot awake after her bath and leave the room. The past few nights I've had to sit beside her cot with my hand on her belly until she falls asleep. This can take up to an hour! Then she wakes in the middle of the night and will only sleep again if I bring her to our bed.

DH is convinced that I created this problem as I started cosleeping with her and now she's 'spoilt'. I think it could be that our holiday coincided with the onset of separation anxiety for DD.

I don't have anything against cosleeping although tbh I would prefer if she went back to her old sleeping habits. I'm also 36w pregnant with DD2!! How is this going to work with a newborn?

DD's naps are fine so I don't really know what to do. Please does anyone have any insight or advice? Thanks!

ohwhatsinausername Wed 14-Sep-16 21:13:35

I also sleep trained DD at 8 months on advice from HV. She's now nearly 3 and still sleeps well so far.

On the odd occasion she comes into my bed but usually it's if she's a bit poorly etc but she will then go back to sleeping well in her own room so I don't think you've spoilt her.

But I do remember around the same time you're experiencing now, that she was getting her back molars through and as they are larger than the rest of her teeth, she was really unsettled, could be a factor?

Each time she was like this, I just kind of did an "age appropriate" sleep training (if you can call it such a thing, before I'm flamed!) go in, reassure her she was ok, tuck her back in, leave, wait, repeat etc.

She seemed to go through times of not being bothered through the night and then times I would have to repeat the sleep training process (if there was no obvious cause of distress...when they get older...they're more able to tell you what's wrong!) so maybe try it again for a few days and see if she settles back down?

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