Anyone know what's wrong and how to fix this?

(10 Posts)
NewlySkinnyMe Mon 12-Sep-16 12:41:12

I have a 2.2 yo who was always a terrible sleeper (waking every 45minute-2hours from birth - 18 months. Then we started getting less frequent wakeups after following advice on here. We then started getting 12 hours a night after moving her into her own toddler bed in April, until about 1 month ago.

We had a new baby born in June, so now 14 weeks old. I am not sure if it is adjusting to that as for the first 10ish weeks she was fine.

Now she is waking maybe every 2 hours and opening her bedroom door and sitting at the stairgate down the hallway making noises every so often. Our bedroom is the other side of the stairgate. If she could she would come straight in there.

I am wondering if it is a bit of delayed seperation anxiety?

Her dad does mostly all the getting ups and putting her to bed as I get up with new baby. She often calls for me, though if I never go in at all it gets to the point where as soon as she sees her dad she goes back to bed. He has to lay with her whilst she goes back to sleep and then he leaves. Repeat about 1or 2 hours later, all night.

I spend all day with her playing and going to toddler classes/baking/watching TV/softplay etc etc. It doesn't seem to stop these frequent wakings.

Has anyone been in this situation and fixed it. After 4 weeks of this we are exhausted and with a newborn who only wakes 2 times a night we should feel reasonably well rested but she is wiping us both out. Especially her dad!

Any advice? Solutions?

NewlySkinnyMe Mon 12-Sep-16 12:41:46

TL:DR
How can I stop my toddler getting out of bed every 2 hours?

She won't settle by herself.

Gooseygoosey12345 Mon 12-Sep-16 12:51:32

Have you tried giving her a clock and marking on it the times she needs to stay in bed, or when it's OK to get up. I would be firm, not lay with her when you go in (or your OH) but say "it's time to be in bed" put her back and walk away. If you fuss her she'll just keep doing it for the attention. Explain that she needs to stay in bed, asleep to grow and be healthy and that you all need to get a good nights sleep.

NewlySkinnyMe Mon 12-Sep-16 13:43:35

She wouldn't understand theclock thing but eill try that when she is a bit older.

She bas never been left alone to sleep and until a month ago this wasn't an issue. That just seems another battle and I am worried that it makes the seperation anxiety worse (if that's what is wrong)

NewlySkinnyMe Mon 12-Sep-16 14:37:38

I am not sure she is doing jt for attention though because she goes to sleep within 5 minutes of getting back into bed. It's more like she just doesn't want to be alone.

Gooseygoosey12345 Mon 12-Sep-16 19:55:18

I see, has she got a night light? Might be worth getting her a musical one so its not silent in her room? She may not feel so lonely and she could turn it back on herself if she wakes. It's difficult to know what to do without knowing what goes on in their mind isn't it. I really hope you find something that helps soon

TooMinty Mon 12-Sep-16 20:09:36

You could try a Gro Clock rather than a normal clock, just uses symbols/colours so no need for her to be able to tell the time. I think we got one for DS1 at a similar age (early wakings) and he understood it ok. But you have to reinforce it for a few nights by putting her back in bed, showing that the moon is still on the clock then leaving. You say she can't settle herself but she can if she has been sleeping through for 12 hours, she will have been rousing between sleep cycles then settling back down again.

Alternatively, if you can't face sleep training just now then get a mattress or camp bed in her room for your DH to sleep on?

ChocolateIsNotSleep Mon 12-Sep-16 20:28:28

Much sympathy! I also have a not great sleeper, she's now 4.5 and I'm sad to say, still wakes me far more often than her 2.5 little sister...

However, it's not every night and she does now settle back very well most of the time (unless it's a bad nightmare). We had the same issue though - she wouldn't go back to sleep without someone staying with her, so I'd spend half the night in her room, often holding her hand. She didn't start sleeping better until we stopped staying with her. The key is your post - she's never been left alone to sleep. Therefore she just doesn't know how to go back to sleep all by herself when she wakes. You can do this gradually - rather than lying with her, your DH could sit next to her bed, then by the door the just outside the door then just pop in and check.

A sticker chart might also help. Finally I wouldn't rule out baby being a trigger - I think after a couple of months the novelty wears off and the realisation sinks in that this new person is here to stay... DD1 also had a massive regression at about 10 weeks after DD2 arrived. Not helped by a chest infection and chicken pox of course...

Good luck!

NewlySkinnyMe Mon 12-Sep-16 22:23:26

Thank you so much for your replies. I think maybe we try the campbed until she get used to the baby being here to stay and then when I am more hopeful she will be Ok I will do the whole leaving her training thing. Its just frustrating she was doing so well and now has gone backwards.

TooMinty Tue 13-Sep-16 07:29:05

We had a camp bed in DS1's room for a while - the Health Visitor was horrified when she found out grin
But you've got to do whatever it takes to get some sleep!

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