Aaaargh! Dummy/self-settling

[Squaffle]

DD is 20 weeks and has had a dummy to go to sleep since she was a week or so old.

She sleeps pretty well at night, but from about 4am onwards starts stirring and needs the dummy putting back in to fall back to sleep. I am up and down like a yo-yo and exhausted as I then don't sleep properly as I'm listening out for her. If I leave her, she wakes up fully. During the day if we are out in the pram, she'll put her hand in her mouth and settle herself when the dummy falls out, but she doesn't do it at night!

I am going to start trying a bit of self-soothing during her daytime naps this week as up until now she's always had a dummy and been cuddled to sleep so I understand why she's finding it hard! Definitely no CC or CIO, am aiming to put her down drowsy and do a gradual retreat and see what happens. It may be that she's not ready yet in which case I'll just buy more coffee ;) Any advice from you lovely lot? x

[ElspethFlashman]

I clipped the dummy on to the grobag. Some people are a bit funny about that - like it's going to strangle them or something? But if you clip it in the middle of their chest it physically can't garotte them as it's too low down.

They have to learn where it is instinctively and that takes a few days of you helping them find it. But the first time they wake, scrabble around on their chest and pop it back in, you very well may burst into grateful tears.

[Squaffle]

That's a brilliant idea! Thank you! Will give it a go x

[Closetlibrarian]

Just stick with the dummy. I read endless threads on here about whether or not to ditch it when DS was about 5 mo. The consensus seemed to be that even if you do manage to ditch it successfully that you end up caving and giving it back days/weeks/months later when they're teething/ ill/ etc.

We also use a dummy clip on the sleeping bag. DS was significantly older than 20 weeks (more like 8 months) when he could consistently put it in himself, but once he could we've rarely had to get up to put it in for him.

I'm glad we persevered through the month of dummy runs though as he settles so easily and independently with his dummy. It felt too cruel to take it away from him as he loves it so much!

[FATEdestiny]

I sew ribbons onto the chest of sleeping bags, with a press stud at the end. It stops lumpy clips being in the way as baby sleeps.

My sleeping bags right from birth up to Aged 3 have these same dummy ribbons sewn on.

This can also help establish the dummy only being for sleep time. From 12 months old I keep a dummy permanently attached to the sleeping bag and this is the only place child can have the dummy.

Another tip - don't bother moving child's cot away from the side of your bed until the dummy reinsertion phase has passed. I can lean over, find dummy ribbon and reinsert dummy into slightly stirring baby's mouth - all without opening my eyes and nearly waking up.

They can usually learn to reinsert their own dummy somewhere around 7-9 months old. It depends on the child's motor skill development. Dexterity skills needed involve:

• being able to locate a dummy that isn't in view
• being able to pick up dummy
• being able to turn dummy over and around in their hands
• know which is the right way round
• be able to turn dummy around and move teat into mouth