22 months and I am 100% fucking DONE.

(46 Posts)
KeepsAwayTheNargles Fri 29-Jul-16 19:42:02

DS is 22 months old.

For the first 7 months of his life, he wouldn't sleep without being held. So I held him, for multiple daytime naps and all night he lay in the crook of my arm. Attempts to put him down were met with furious crying and an exhausted, miserable child. It wasn't worth it.

Then he started rolling away, wanted space. Which seemed great. Except he still woke up multiple time a night. And still does. On a good night, once. On a bad night I have to sleep with him in his single bed (if these nights are a Friday or Saturday DH does it instead).

He's still BFing but doesn't always want that to go back to sleep, he just comes and knocks on our bedroom door every time he wakes in the night.

I am exhausted. I can't do it anymore. I am fucking DONE.

Tonight he wasn't going to sleep for me and was arsing around so DH took over and I'm having a bath. He has finally stopped crying after screaming for about 45 minutes, so hopefully he's going to sleep.

DH will do tonight and tomorrow, then I need to get through 2 nights wearing a top in this heat to prevent boob access offering water and dummies before DH is off work for a week and will do each night again. So, night weaning in the hope he stops bothering getting out of bed.

Please tell me this will work and he will magically sleep through. I've posted a few times about him and the not sleeping over his short life and was never at the end of my tether before but I'm now getting angry with him over it and I hate that, so this it it. It has to be. I can't anymore.

Any words of wisdom / reassurances that I'm not going to traumatise him for life / hand-holding much appreciated sad

Verticalvenetianblinds Fri 29-Jul-16 19:47:15

I'm only at 13months if not sleeping for more than 3 hour blocks but I feel your pain! We're looking into melatonin? Not sure yet but been googling! Good luck

KeepsAwayTheNargles Fri 29-Jul-16 20:00:25

Back crying again sad so frustrating. Will goggle melatonin.

KeepsAwayTheNargles Fri 29-Jul-16 20:01:02

*Google, stupid phone hmm

Gardencentregroupie Fri 29-Jul-16 20:03:38

Good luck flowers at 22 months being cuddled by a loving parent and not fed definitely will not scar him for life! My DD has just turned 2 and she's exactly the same as your DS. I'm going to start night weaning next week because like you I cannot fucking take this shit any more.

Lovelongweekends Fri 29-Jul-16 20:03:48

Neither of my two slept through the night until I stopped bf-ing at 14months. Three days without boob and they've slept through ever since!

shhhhSleeping Fri 29-Jul-16 20:09:53

We've recently been recommended tart cherry juice. Take twice a day to aid sleep. Articles in dm and telegraph, various blogs and studies about it if you Google. Apparently high level sports people (Inc a premiership football team iirc) use it to aid recovery and promote sleep.

Not sure on quantities for kids, I haven't got that far in my research, but something else to consider....
flowers

didiimaginethis Fri 29-Jul-16 20:14:48

2 children here, both ebf. Dc1 slept through from 17 months when I stopped breastfeeding, dc2 slept through from 17months when I stopped breastfeeding......it will not hurt your child to stop breastfeeding at 22 months. I also did controlled crying with both my children as I couldn't take anymore sleep deprivation, worked in 2-3 nights for both children.

TheABC Fri 29-Jul-16 20:29:17

It won't hurt him. However, it might not be the fix you are hoping for. DS night weaned at 18 months, but remained a crap sleeper until he was three. :-( Colds, teeth and growth spurts got in the way.

Good luck OP. When you get night waking sorted, I can really recommend black out blinds to prevent a 5am wake up call.

I am often amazed that humans make it to adulthood, let alone in the global numbers we now have.

KeepsAwayTheNargles Fri 29-Jul-16 20:52:34

Thanks everyone. ABC we have blackout blinds, couldn't cope without them! I totally agree with you about how humans even got this far...

He was asleep by 8. Just woke up but let DH pat his bum and he went straight back to sleep (usually does this when overtired). Looking forward to 2 nights off, thanks DH!

I'm hoping I can keep BFing during the day but he went through a phase earlier this year of BF less and night and it tailed off in the day too. I would be sad to stop completely but it would be worth it if he actually slept...

Girliefriendlikesflowers Fri 29-Jul-16 20:57:21

I think definitely yes to night weaning, you need to give them as little reason as poss to wake up!! I wouldn't even speak to him if he woke me up, just as quickly as possible steer him back to bed, tuck in and leave.

KeepsAwayTheNargles Fri 29-Jul-16 21:46:48

Girlie if I did that he would follow me out of the room, crying hmm hopefully resettling him without boobs will lead to less waking though...

KeepsAwayTheNargles Sat 30-Jul-16 08:19:14

Well he was unimpressed with DH when he woke at 2, so DH was in bed with him from then to half 7 when he woke for the day. Seems unphased this morning and I've made a point of "boobie in the morning" so not at night you little monster

WorldsBiggestGrotbag Sat 30-Jul-16 08:24:08

Ah I feel your pain, mine didn't sleep through until 2.5 and still wakes a couple of nights a week at 2.8.
Night weaning helped but wasn't an instant cure. Taking her back to bed every time she came into our bedroom helped. I now have a 13 month old non sleeper too. I've just night weaned her in the hope of avoiding the same issue with her when she's 2.5!

Gardencentregroupie Sat 30-Jul-16 08:24:25

That seemed to go as well as could be hoped. Good luck for tonight, keep us updated.

DoItTooJulia Sat 30-Jul-16 08:28:03

You know what? It's god awful isn't it? My ds does sleep now, but comes into our bed most nights still. He's 3.5. If he didn't come into our bed he wouldn't sleep. But at least now he doesn't wake us up. It can get a bit squashed and I'm fed up of sleeping on the edge of my bed, but we get sleep.

I stopped bf to help. All bf though, not just the night. And whilst it wasn't a miracle cure at least it wasn't only me that could help him.

Time helps, a supportive partner helps and somebody who can have the child overnight occasionally helps, so get night weaning and ask your mum/MIL/dad/ sister/best friend/brother/whoever to give up a nights sleep for you.

Good luck, I can feel the exhaustion and stinging eyes from here flowers

Hedgyhoggy Sat 30-Jul-16 08:30:55

Stair gate on the bedroom door, worked for my eldest

KeepsAwayTheNargles Sat 30-Jul-16 16:34:56

Usually DS and I spend a night a week at my mums house and she takes him that night (he loves sleeping in Nana's room!) so I get that at least smile fingers crosses for tonight! Yesterday and today he's struggled at nap time so there's something else going on with him but it really has to be now.

KeepsAwayTheNargles Sat 30-Jul-16 19:05:39

Another bedtime and he's writhing all over his bloody bed dicking around. Its making me so fucking angry.

KeepsAwayTheNargles Sat 30-Jul-16 19:16:10

Have already had to hand over to DH to avoid shouting at him sad so now instead of mucking around we have screaming/crying. Lets hope Night 2 takes less time than Night 1...

Gardencentregroupie Sat 30-Jul-16 19:22:40

wine?

Youcantscaremeihavechildren Sat 30-Jul-16 19:32:46

I'm here with ds 16 months who is about the same ..I could have written your post. We tried to go out last night to watch a film. He took nearly 2 hrs to go to sleep so we missed the first one else and then watched some other rubbish as a night out is a night out eh? Then got home for him to wake up 5mins later and stay awake for 4 HRS. I have had it.
Bedtime tonight is at 45 mins...he's asleep on the boob but if I try to detach and lay him down he will start howling.
We co sleep as I can't face actually getting up properly in the night but we are getting his room ready in the hope it might reduce some of the wake ups...

Daytona79 Sat 30-Jul-16 19:50:21

I stopped BF at 12 months , son is also 22 months now and still doesn't sleep

I get woke up at least 3 times a night on a good night, up to 10 on a bad night

I'm due number 2 in 6 days as well

I've just given up on ever sleeping well again confused

KeepsAwayTheNargles Sat 30-Jul-16 19:50:46

Gardencentregroupie I had the last of it last night, I do have beer though grin

He's still not asleep hmm

Youcant that was us at 16m! We stopped cosleeping at 10mo though as he just wants to BF constantly if they're available but goes up to 5 hours a time (maximum obviously) in his own room so fingers crossed for you!

KeepsAwayTheNargles Sat 30-Jul-16 19:52:27

Daytona nooo, poor you! If I were you we'd all just give up and have a massive Family Bed of mattresses on the floor...

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