Help - 20mo will not sleep alone

(1 Post)
silenceofthehams Fri 29-Jul-16 06:06:06

We have 3yr old dd and 20mo ds. I am due any day with dc3, so very tired and heavy.

DH has worked a lot on night shifts so is also tired. As he's been absent from our bed it's been easier for me to bring clingy ds into bed with me each night for the last two weeks rather than face battles over bedtime and being woken several times a night. Even doing this though has meant that I rise at 5am as that is when DS wakes and will not go back into sleep.

Dh's night shifts have stopped now I am about to go into labour with dc3 but ds is inconsolable if I try to make him sleep without me. He will scream the house down for hours, then if I give in and bring him back into bed with me he will not sleep anywhere but on top of me because he does not trust me to try and sneak him back into his bed. This is not helped by extremely sensitive neighbours and paper thin walls, who complain if there is even a minute of crying/screaming in the night.

DH is preoccupied with his own health/sleep and prioritises it above mine, it feels. I'm big, knackered and overdue and even if I have been up most of the night with ds, DH expects me to be fine with him going for afternoon naps where I have to keep the DC out of his way.

I have created a rod for my own back because any time I try to leave DS with DH for me to have a break, night or day, DS screams the house down again. DH then blames me for "abandoning" DS which is the last thing I am trying to do (just trying to have a break FGS) but in the moment / the screaming and clinging on to me, I look like the worst mother in the world.

I feel so tired, claustrophobic, angry with DH and cannot believe there is another due any day. Can you offer me any advice on how to sort out DS so that one of these issues can get better?

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