Please help! Going out of my mind.

(9 Posts)
FlyHighLittleBee Tue 26-Jul-16 14:04:25

My DD is 15 months. She used to be the most amazing sleeper in the whole world. Would Often sleep from 6pm- 10am with a good 2/3 hour nap in the day. Actually asked on here and went to the doctors as I thought she slept too much! But everything was fine.

Anyway, since the hot weather started last Monday, she won't go to sleep until at least 10.30pm. She won't nap at all in the day usually. Yesterday I got her to have a half an hour nap, after walking round the park for 2 hours. Did the same today, but nada. Her not napping wouldn't bother me as much, but without one she is so miserable! She's up about half 6/7.

I don't know if it's the heat. But it's quite mild where I live these past few days, 18 degrees-ish. Her rooms not too hot and she's dressed appropriately.

Me and exDP are breaking up, so I don't know if she's sensing the tension? I'm really scared its that. Though I make sure she isn't aware of it and am giving her lots of extra comfort and cuddles. Her dads around as much as he's ever been (not moved out yet).

I've tried leaving her for a few minutes at a time to cry. She hyperventilates and gets much much more unsettled. I sit by her cot patting and singing for hours. I walk her in her buggy for hours.

Any suggestions? I start working nights in 2 weeks and really need this sorted by then. Plus there's no way I'll be able to complete my 2nd year at uni with no time in the evenings. My house is a state. I'm more stressed about her not sleeping than the break up tbh sad

FellOutOfBed2wice Tue 26-Jul-16 14:09:29

I have to say, this sounds like my two year old has always been. She's a consistent sleeper now but only sleeps 7-6ish with no day time nap and hasn't had one since she was about 14/15 months old. She gets up early, she's got a lot of energy a lot more than me and her Dad! and she's just very wired. It may be that your DD has just changed her habits.

I have no advice because I've accepted it as how my daughter is and unless yours is miserable or seems tired you may just have to do the same. Is she still not going to sleep til late? That's the only thing I would potentially look at sorting but, as I say, the rest sounds a lot like my daughter who is perfectly happy, healthy and (unfortunately for us old cronies) just very energetic!

FlyHighLittleBee Tue 26-Jul-16 14:15:25

I wouldn't mind if she went to sleep at 7! It's the 10.30pm bedtime that's killing me.

But no, she does definitely need a nap still. She's so grumpy and teary without one. I've just got her to sleep after 90 mins of walking/ patting/ singing. Maybe if she went to sleep earlier, she'd drop the nap. But even on days when she hasn't napped at all, it's still the same at night. Do you think it might be her sensing the problems between me and her dad?

FellOutOfBed2wice Tue 26-Jul-16 14:37:33

No, I really don't, my daughters sleep definitely changed at about 15 months from baby like into more toddler like. Until then she would always sleep in until 8.30/9am but no such luck now!

FlyHighLittleBee Tue 26-Jul-16 14:54:45

That's the main thing I was worried about, thank you. Last Monday was also the day she started walking, which I've heard can lead to sleep problems at first. She is seeming a lot more toddler- like these past few weeks. I hope as she finds her feet a little bit more and tiring herself out she'll start giving into sleep a little earlier, even if that does mean an earlier wake up call/ no naps. smile

FlyHighLittleBee Tue 26-Jul-16 20:04:07

Anybody else have any idea how to get her to sleep earlier? Have sat here for 45 minutes stroking her through the cot and singing twinkle twinkle again. She just lies there still with her eyes open. As soon as I leave, she screams her poor little head off. I'm exhausted and I need to tidy up and stuff! What do I do???

FlyHighLittleBee Tue 26-Jul-16 22:34:02

Just got her off. One more bump for ideas?

FATEdestiny Tue 26-Jul-16 22:47:16

I wouldn't sing to her or stroke her - these are more stimulating to a toddler and probably are hindering her getting to sleep, not helping. The key to getting a toddler to sleep is boredom. If she needs your presence in the room, so be it. But avoid interacting.

I'd say nan night, give a kiss, put her in the cot, then just stand there until asleep. Yes, it will take a looooong time. But just stand there. If she tries to sit or stand, lie her down again and have a mantra you say: "we lie down to sleep, sleep time now, nan night" (or whatever you choose). Repeat every time she sits up until she 'gives up' and lies down. Eventually she'll get bored and go to sleep.

Stay until she is fully and completely asleep. No sneaking out early, she needs to trust you'll stay. Then creep out once fully asleep without her noticing.

Repeat the same thing the following night, and the next, and the next, and so on. With each night it should get quicker. Once she is going straight to sleep once put in the cot (maybe you wait by the cot for 10 minutes or so without interaction), start making gradual changes to withdraw from the room. So for a couple of nights take a quater turn away from the cot, so you are standing next to her but not facing the cot. Stay until asleep.

The next few nights stand next to the cot but facing towards the door. Wait until asleep before you leave. Next few days stand half a step away from the cot. Then a step away. Tiny little changes until you put her down, say nan night, walk out the room and wait by the door frame. Then just wait upstairs. And so on.

FlyHighLittleBee Tue 26-Jul-16 23:15:34

Brilliant! I didn't think that maybe I would be stimulating her instead of helping. Thanks so much. Glad to have a plan to follow tomorrow.

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