Want to stop feeding to sleep

(11 Posts)
Sierra259 Fri 08-Jul-16 06:01:07

DC2 is 7 months. She generally sleeps fairly well (8.30-5.30) but we're having real trouble getting her to self settle. In the day, she'll nap on me or in the buggy which I can cope with (often we're out with DC1 anyway). At night though she has a bottle and then 9 times out of 10 needs to bf for 5-10 minutes to actually go to sleep. If I put her in her cot straight after the bottle, even if she's obviously tired, she starts kicking, giggling, trying to roll over etc. I've started putting a jellycat like comforter in her hand during the bf, hoping she'll start associating that with sleep but would be grateful for any suggestions. I actually have no problem feeding off to sleep except I'd quite like to be able to pop out for the evening (I haven't had one since she was born). We have a wedding in August, my parents are babysitting and I just don't know how they'll get her to settle! She will not be held and rocked (has been like that from birth).

Thanks in advance!

Coconut0il Fri 08-Jul-16 14:21:26

No advice for not feeding to sleep as I'm still doing it with DS2 but I have managed to go out and DP has had some success pushing the pushchair back and forth or going for a walk. This isn't our normal routine but once every so often it's ok. DS2 stays in the pushchair and I transfer him later. Think its harder for DP than me as BF to sleep takes about 10 mins but DS2 can fight the pushchair a bit longer, luckily DP is also more patient than me grin

Sierra259 Sat 30-Jul-16 20:50:02

Bumping as she still doesn't want to know about self-settling! She woke up as I was putting her in the cot, I tried for 20 minutes to pat and shush her back off, only for her to become increasingly outraged and now I'm back feeding her while she snivels at me between sucking sad. Am getting seriously worried about the wedding we're going to at the end of the month, plus just feeling increasingly frustrated at always having to be here as the one to get her off to sleep! Any advice?

HeyMacWey Sat 30-Jul-16 20:53:44

Can you hand over to dh after you've given the last feed?

We had this and found that dh got it sorted within a week. He kind of did a shush/pat/held them when they were in the cot. You may have to go out for a walk /drive the first few nights as I found it quite difficult.

A comforter is a good idea too.

Oly5 Sat 30-Jul-16 21:01:39

No real advice as I fed to sleep
Until my
Youngest was 14 months. Have you tried a dummy - just to get you through next few months?
She's still very little, this will improve. I think a lot of babies are still feeding to sleep at
Seven months

MadeForThis Sat 30-Jul-16 21:05:35

Would love to see some solutions. My DD is 10 months and still feeds to sleep, and cosleeps!
Wedding coming up in October and nursery starting soon too.

How does your LO settle for naps?

apatheticfallacy Sat 30-Jul-16 21:09:55

I read the no cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley, it doesn't give you a step by step plan but lots of helpful hints and tips to try. We slowly implemented some of them and whilst it wasn't an overnight solution things have dramatically improved since I decided I wanted to change from feeding to sleep and co-sleeping and waking every 90mins (at 8months). It took time and perseverance and a bit of crying but no leaving DS alone and uncomforted

Sierra259 Sat 30-Jul-16 21:12:16

She dozes off on the boob in the morning for about 40 minutes and then sleeps after lunch in the buggy for as long as I push it around! Having a 3.5 year old too makes it difficult to put the time into sorting a day time cot nap, as I keep getting interrupted!

Oly, we used a dummy when she was about 2 weeks old and it worked really well for about a week before she started refusing it hmm Tbh, I'm loathe to introduce one at this stage (8months) as all the advice says it's easier to break the habit before 1!

Spottyladybird Sat 30-Jul-16 21:17:22

I'd suggest the Pantey pull off. Basically you wait until the sucking slows then ease the nipple away, if she fights it let her suck again then repeat again a minute later until she lets you remove and she drifts off fully in your arms. Over following nights you should find it takes less time then you can start transferring more and more awake.

Sierra259 Sat 30-Jul-16 22:02:39

apathetic I believe I have that book somewhere actually! We bought it when DC1 was going through a bad patch, but she sorted herself out literally the day it arrived! Will dig it out.

I feel a bit bad as she is still very little, and the only reason I want to stop is so I can (very occasionally!) go out and not worry that whoever I'm leaving her with is having a hellish time and she's not beside herself. Plus, I guess I don't want it to drag on for years.

ACubed Sun 31-Jul-16 15:31:57

Aha I've just started trying to stop feeding my four month old to sleep, mainly because he went from being fed to sleep, to having to be fed with both of us lying down on my bed, which was lovely and comfy, but I know if he doesn't learn to fall asleep in a cot before starting nursery in a few months he'll have a bad time.
I've only been doing it a few days - I spent a week collating data on when he naturally falls asleep, and saw that he had a nap around 9am, then one around 1pm, then at 3ish, with a bedtime of about half six. So I start to put him down for naps around these times in his cot. He cries at first so I either let him suck on my little finger, or if he's getting at all distressed, pick him up to sooth him, then put him back down. The only way I could do this method was by just abandoning any other plans for a few weeks and committing totally to helping him sleep, and I made it feel like an important psychological study by keeping notes (I'm a bit sad like that!). It is a bit of a ball ache, but today he's done the final part of falling asleep by himself twice now, after a lot of messing about and finger sucking first, he spat out my little finger and turned his head from side to side for a bit then dropped off.
I guess all kids are different though, but this is sort of working for me so far, though it's early days. Last night he slept really well - took an hour and a quarter to drop off, but then slept through till 3.30am for a quick feed, then back to sleep until 6.30am.
Hope that's of some help, it's really hard isn't it!

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