16 month old awake for hours a night

(45 Posts)
NickyWiresTeeth Sun 03-Jul-16 12:14:03

At my wits end with my 16 month old. I haven't had more than 2 hours sleep a night for weeks, and work full time, so am on my knees.

My DS wakes up at about 1am and will not go back to sleep until about 5am. He grumbles, cries, wants to play, chats, stands up, etc. You can't leave the room or he becomes hysterical.

He naps for 2 hours a day (one nap), goes down very easily- you tell him sleepytime and he grabs a teddy and goes to sleep. No dummy, music or anything. He has milk before bedtime but doesn't go to sleep with the bottle. We give him a bottle when he wakes up. His good intake isn't great, it never has been. But he'll refuse more than one milk a night most nights. He just seems to want to talk.

His sleep was fine until a few weeks ago. He had been ill (herpetic gingamatosis- so severe cold sore) but has recovered. He was sleeping a lot when he was ill. Ever since then he's been doing this.

Any ideas, tips? Is this just a phase he'll grow out of? We've also wondered if it's teeth and cans ee canines coming through, but calpol makes no difference.

Thanks in advance!

hippiedays Sun 03-Jul-16 12:17:36

Mine went through this. It was a phase. I tried bringing them into our bed but it was pointless as they tried to play hide and seek under the duvet etc. It did pass but you have my sympathy.

Iguessyourestuckwithme Sun 03-Jul-16 12:23:47

A little one I know went through this. Was awake for hours, parents would sit with them etc. I had her for a couple of nights and she soon stopped. Having someone sat with her interacting/playing or even trying to ignore her was keeping her awake.

MozzchopsThirty Sun 03-Jul-16 12:25:06

What are you doing when he wakes up?

NickyWiresTeeth Sun 03-Jul-16 12:29:35

Trying to ignore him mostly! Just get into bed (next to his cot) and turn our backs. I sneaked out last night when he went to sleep (after 2 hours) but he woke up 30 minutes later.

hippiedays Sun 03-Jul-16 12:33:01

If he slept when you were beside him I'd say he just needs the security of having you nearby. Just stay with him, he is just a baby x

NickyWiresTeeth Sun 03-Jul-16 12:35:29

We stay with him, he stays awake for 5 hours! It takes him 5 hours to feel secure!

We can't bring him into bed either because, alongside walking, he has discovered the joy of bouncing on it.

hippiedays, how long did it last? I can't take much more sad

RavioliOnToast Sun 03-Jul-16 12:40:06

My Dd has been through this and as we've just moved she's starting it again.

What time does your Ds eat his evening meal?

NickyWiresTeeth Sun 03-Jul-16 12:42:07

Usually about 6? He goes to bed at 7.

NickyWiresTeeth Sun 03-Jul-16 12:44:53

Actually reading that back- he barely eats his dinner most days and we give him a bedtime bottle (because of barely eating- chews but doesn't swallow, or just throws food). Wondering whether to dro the bedtime bottle in the hope he eats.

hippiedays Sun 03-Jul-16 12:45:04

My DH mostly went to her tbh as she seemed to get even more stimulated when I went in. He brought a chair into her room and sat with her for a couple of hours every night. He often nodded off himself I'd say but she certainly didn't get any real interaction from him except cuddles.

He had a routine of changing her nappy in a dark room, giving her a drink of water and then sitting and cuddling her.

It went on for quite a while (up to two months I'm sfraid). Obviously I tried to take turns with him but whenever I went in, she chatted and tried to interact with me all the time, I could be in her room for three hours and it was like she had mixed up night with daytime). When he went in, she calmed down a lot sooner. Truth be told, I always felt a little rejected by her doing this as she has a very strong bond with her Dad and I wonder if it came from this time).

Bottomchops Sun 03-Jul-16 12:45:58

He's trying it on! You have to leave him to cry it out. 3-5 nights of ignoring and it should be sorted. Go in once, if he's fine just leave him. Your will has to be stronger than his. It's very very hard to do emotionally but the alternative is not sustainable or fair on anyone. We cracked it with ds when he was 14 months. Enough was enough!

Bottomchops Sun 03-Jul-16 12:47:36

He can have milk from a cup now he's over 12 months. But you may want to tackle one thing at a time.

NickyWiresTeeth Sun 03-Jul-16 12:49:45

He's the same with DH unfortunately. Bottomchops, no, I am not leaving him to cry it out. The other day I had earplugs in and didn't hear him for 5 minutes (I knew it was 5 minutes as that's when the monitor registered it) and when I got in he was sobbing in the foetal position. Just no, I'm not doing that.

He has drinks from a cup in the daytime.

NickyWiresTeeth Sun 03-Jul-16 12:50:40

(Funny you mention that hippiedays, last night when I was in there, he was asking for his dad and I felt sad)

ElspethFlashman Sun 03-Jul-16 12:51:28

Yeah a common phase i'm afraid. We had about 6 months of it. We were on our knees. 2am -4am every night. We had to stay in the room or there'd be tears. And its not like they're upset - they're just awake!

It did pass. Eventually. Not all of a sudden - there were several weeks where it happened only once or twice a week. Oddly they were grimmer as you think it's over for good but then 4 nights later it starts again and you want to cry!

My only tip is to make yourself as comfy as possible. We tried everything - changing naps/bedtimes/dinner etc. Nope. Its just developmental. And it sucks!

hippiedays Sun 03-Jul-16 12:51:44

Unjust read your post about eating dinner. We usually eat dinner quite late approx 6.30-7pm. One day I skipped lunch and we had an earlier dinner (4.30-5pm). She ate a proper dinner. Unfortunately it wasn't practical for us to continue doing this but having an earlier dinner definitely seemed to suit her. She is a terrible eater otherwise and seems to survive on pasta, bread and fruit mostly. She throws all meat, veg and whatever else she doesn't like the look of on a particular day on the floor.

ElspethFlashman Sun 03-Jul-16 12:53:40

Oh and we had ZERO interaction. But it made no difference really. It just meant I suppose that he came to not expect any so we could nod off a bit as he chattered away to himself.

NickyWiresTeeth Sun 03-Jul-16 12:54:28

6 months! Oh bloody hell. I'm going to end up getting sacked sad I am absolutely dead on my feet- because he doesn't go to sleep until 5.30 or so, I get 2 hours sleep! Maybe it's time to start going to bed at 8pm sad

ElspethFlashman Sun 03-Jul-16 12:57:55

Well our lad started at 11 months and had finished by 16/17 months so maybe we were just really unlucky and it'll be less for you.

We did start going to bed very early. You have to.

We also tag teamed it a lot so one of us didn't get burnt out. We had a rule that after an hour we swapped. It's not as if the other person was sleeping through it anyway!

hippiedays Sun 03-Jul-16 12:58:57

If you do try the cry it out (and I suspect even though you say you couldn't, one night exhaustion too many may break you (it broke me). but please go back in and just try sitting silently on the floor beside his cot so he knows you are there edging further from his cot every few days. That worked for us but she was much much younger than your son.

ElspethFlashman Sun 03-Jul-16 12:59:37

BTW we didn't leave after an hour cos of the hysteria that would ensue - the other person would just come in and then the first person would slip out behind them.

InsaneDame Sun 03-Jul-16 13:00:45

This is interesting reading -

evolutionaryparenting.com/what-is-normal-infant-sleep-part-ii/

It will pass and be replaced by something else - my 2.3yo was up crying every hour last night because he has a cold and can't breath through his nose sad

InsaneDame Sun 03-Jul-16 13:03:18

And I second pp suggestion of going to bed early - self preservation over 'me' time I'm afraid. Bed at 8.30pm until this phase passes, you will get your evenings back again soon flowers

thrillhouse Sun 03-Jul-16 13:13:44

Bottomchops he's 16 months old, he's not "trying it on". Babies don't have the capacity to manipulate at this age.

And babies can drink from a cup at any age confused

OP, I have no real advice, but I hope it passes for you. My DD (13 months) does this occasionally and it's awful.

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