I TRIED .. IT WAS AWFUL (AND THEY BOTH ENDED UP IN OUR BED) - HELP ME!

[kittylette]

hi,

i need help.

yesterday we rearanged DS1s bedroom and put DS2s cot in there(ages 2.1yrs and 7 months).

They dont usually go to bed easily at all, but we gave them theyre first 'together' bath, got pjs on and had their milk - surprisingly they both went to sleep straight away and stayed asleep...

until1.45am when DS1 woke up.

now usually when this happens Dad goes in picks him up and he comes in our bed.

but not tonight, i wasnt sure which approach to go with so first i went in comforted him, lay him down and sat next to the bed, he just lay there eyes wide open for 30 mins, i was tired and wanted my bed so decided this wasnt working so i would try controlled crying

i got up left and he screameddd

i returned hugged him, put him down

he was just sobbing and screaming saying 'wheres dad, go in there, what you doing?'

it was awful, and this went on for a further 2 hours

finally i gave in and gave him a bottle and he just held it, sobbing and fell asleep

DS2 somehow didnt awaken!

but then about and hour later DS2 started crying - who we have the same problem with, he wants to be in our bed

but i was so terrified he would wake his big brother up and it would start again i just went and got him and just brought him in our bed

then DS1 woke and i did the same as i was soooooo tired and couldnt face a repeat of what happened earlier

so what should i do??

how do i handle one waking and doing CC without the other starting,

should i put them in seperate rooms? until they sleep properly?

i cant believe i gave up, im just sooo tired

I was the one doing all this, DF slept through and now hes decided hes having a lie in ands left me with the boys! hhmmmppfff

tired kitty

[BuffysMum]

If you are going to do it you are going to have to accept several non-sleeping night and get your df on board to take it in turns with you.

Do you really want to stop them sleeping in your bed, if it doesn't bother you then don't do it.

Controlled crying is going to take a few nights esp as your eldest has discovered if he keeps going you give in. Don't nec think you have to leave them to scream, just return to him to bed pat his back walk off, repeat 200 times for a few night in a row and you'll get there.

Suggest you go to bed at the same time as them to keep you going thru it.

[kittylette]

i do want them out of my bed, i cant sleep when theyre in it

see the problem with my DF is that he usually goes in to be the saviour and bring DS to our bed, so if he goes in DS will just get hysterical when hes not picked up

so its all down to me, you see

maybe ill get him to try tonight though

also he tends to just give up really easily and i can see him having a grum-on and refusing to do it

[kittylette]

that was supposed to be 'grump-on'

[kittylette]

can anyone help me plan what to do tonight??

split them up in seperate rooms or persevere??

[pooka]

I'm really not sure how you can work it. Hope someone else can advise.
However, my instinct is that your df should be involved.

[BuffysMum]

I think if you want them to share a room I would keep them together and it will train them to sleep thru it. Have you seen any of the Little house of tiny tearaways especially the one where they got the twins to sleep thru?

Have you got anyone who will help give you a break during the day to help you to cope after being up at night?

Think you need to prepare yourself and accept that the only thing you are going to achieve that week is getting them to sleep in their own beds all night - forget housework/shopping/cleaning it will be about survival on mininmal sleep.

I would tell your elder one what you are going to do as he may understand it a bit.

Not much more advice really - just go in pat him night night go to sleep, next time go in just pat and like I said repeat 300 times....

[monkeymonkeymoomoo]

Sounds like you would worry less and persist more if they were in different rooms? If this is an option I personally would go for it but like everyone else says it will take time. Is there anyone else that can help you? That said I do think your DF needs a kick up the bum, his kids too