11 month old won't self settle

(13 Posts)
olijdc Thu 16-Jun-16 20:37:59

I've not posted on here before but I'm desperate haha! I'm really struggling to get my 11 month old son to settle himself for any nap time especially night!

I've tried pretty much everything but I can't bare listening to him cry for longer than 10 seconds so I just end up giving in and cuddling him in bed until he falls asleep..

Any suggestions?!

Coconut0il Thu 16-Jun-16 20:43:28

No suggestions but you're definitely not alone. I feed DS2, 10 months to sleep for every nap and every night. Did the same with DS1, when bf had finished he had a story and cuddle, over time he just started to fall asleep himself. He probably was slightly over 2 but he did it eventually. Like you, I've never left either of them to cry.

Tralala33 Thu 16-Jun-16 20:43:50

Sorry, can't help but I'm in exactly the same position. It never used to bother me when he only took 20 minutes max to fall asleep when cuddling him, but he's taking longer and longer now and I want my evenings back.

Notonthelawn Thu 16-Jun-16 20:46:22

2 years here as well, Im afraid & still co-sleeping which is fine for us, but not for everyone.

Nan0second Thu 16-Jun-16 20:46:27

Gradual retreat? It will all involve crying but if you follow the "what worked for us" thread , you never leave the baby alone and it will be over quickly and you will get some space back.

HonkHonkNose Thu 16-Jun-16 20:55:18

Cuddle him smile he'll be grown up and gone in no time. I still bf 2yo dd to sleep, it's what works. She's happy. No crying or screaming.

fluffikins Thu 16-Jun-16 21:03:41

They learn it at different times - this is an interesting read

https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2014/06/30/self-settling-what-really-happens-when-you-teach-a-baby-to-self-soothe-to-sleep/

olijdc Fri 17-Jun-16 08:16:04

Thanks for the replies! I do love cuddling him to sleep and I know I'll never regret it but it's taking so long now sometimes over an hour to settle. Then when he does fall asleep in my arms either I've also fell asleep or he's woke up from me putting him in his cot.

It just takes up so much of my day and half the time he only naps for 20 minutes!

FATEdestiny Fri 17-Jun-16 10:18:11

The dummy is the simplest and gentlest no crying sleep solution.

Nan0second Fri 17-Jun-16 10:34:23

It's not unreasonable to not want to spend 3 hours a day waiting for your child to go to sleep. The link above mixes some science with some falsehoods and it is not accurate to say it teaches children not to cry out.
There is a piece of research by American pardiatricians that shows that children aged 6 who were taught to self settle were no different psycholgically or physically to those who had not been taught - they just slept through on average 3 years earlier!
Your choice smile

BathshebaDarkstone Fri 17-Jun-16 10:37:55

Yy to gradual retreat.

piesoclock Fri 17-Jun-16 22:22:45

Can you link to the what worked for us thread Nan?

MadameMayberry Tue 21-Jun-16 05:44:39

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/a1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps?pg=1&order=

I think this is the link...

Good luck! I think I need to have another read as well. My 10 month old DS has a pattern of waking at 10pm, 2am, 4am and then waking up for the day anything between 5and 6 (though he has not settled since 4am today). It's so mentally exhausting, more than physically I find. My husband is going to be going away for work soon so I need to find a solution!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now