Feeling desperate about 11week old sleep (or lack of)

[driftingclouds]

Really need help as feel close to breaking point.
DC3 has never been a good daytime sleeper-has reflux (on ranitidine), could be described as 'hyper-alert' and fights sleep like you would not believe. Only really happy to sleep when being held/in sling or in a forward moving pram. Not reliable to sleep in a car-will cheerfully stay awake for over an hour in a car despite being tired, fed and 'due' a sleep. If I can get him to sleep in his cot (big if), it's for a max of 30mins and often less.
All of this is exacerbated by being the 3rd child so generally dragged around and 'having' to have two naps a day on the school run (often dramatic failures).

Nights were better-had a routine early on due to other children. Bath, massage, stories and breastfeed: swaddled and into bed around 7.30pm. Woke around 11/12ish and then 3/4ish then up for the day 6.30/7ish. I was happy with that.

However, things have gotten worse. Now almost impossible to get to sleep in the day. I spent over an hour today trying to get him to settle in the cot-tried rocking, patting, putting down asleep, putting down awake, dummy, feeding to sleep etc etc. Eventually he passed out for only 20mins. Tried to put him in the sling but still wouldn't settle. Then was due a feed but is too knackered to feed properly...yesterday we had nap failure all day-no more than 30mins at a time even if in moving car/pram or sling.

Nights are turning into a nightmare too. He is fighting the swaddle so waking up loads. He is desperate to suck him thumb/fingers but that doesn't seem to settle him (yet?!?). I feel like the swaddle is stopping him from
Self settling with sucking his hand but his startle reflex still wakes him up without it.

So basically...
-how can I improve the daytime cat napping situation? He is clearly shattered and it impacts on how effectively he feeds when he doesn't nap properly
-should we just go cold turkey on the swaddle and hope (pray) he learns to settle with his thumb

Sorry this post is really rambling. I just feel really wretched with the whole thing. I'm
Exhausted-physically and emotionally. My husband does loads around the house when he is here (works long hours) and with th older kids but he doesn't want to wear him in the sling so I feel like I never get any physical space away from the baby. I'm exclusively breastfeeding which is important to me but I feel on the verge of giving up just so someone can help with him for a bit. I'm know I'm neglecting/short tempered with my older kids (5 and 3 years) and mean to my DH.

Really looking for any words of wisdom or anyone who has experienced similar but for who it got better!

[lalath]

Does he seem to be in pain? Is it possible that the ranitidine has stopped working?

When ds was a baby he had reflux, and the ranitidine stopped working after only a few weeks. Moving him onto omemprazole helped a lot.

[driftingclouds]

Hmmm, possibly. I did recently get him weighed and calculated that his ranitidine dose was really way too low. I'd be debating whether to increase it or not (I would rather he wasn't on it at all so was hoping he could just grow out of it). Maybe I'll up it to his current weight and see if things improve

[orangebird69]

If you under dose you may as well not dose at all.... is his cot/crib raised up at the head end to ease his reflux? Please start using the correct medication measures. Your child is in extreme discomfort.