18 month old - 12 days into controlled crying and no success!

(6 Posts)
popp123 Wed 20-Apr-16 11:48:21

Hello, any advice would be appreciated.
I am due with number 2 in 5 weeks and need to crack sleep with my 18 month old son before then! He has slept through the night approx. 5 out of 7 nights a week since he was 14 months, but I have been sitting on a chair in his room as he goes to sleep at night! He is getting really naughty and playful now and it can take an hour for him to finally go to sleep! So, after various attempts at things we decided to do controlled crying. Using the method of going back in after 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 mins! First night he screamed for 50 minutes, then slept, second night- 25 minutes, third night 10 mins, fourth night 2 mins, fifth night 1 minute but then 6th night he went for 1 hour 15 when I eventually went in and rubbed his tummy to sleep, since then he has screamed for over an hour each night ( we are on night 12).

Has anyone got any advice- it all seemed to be going well in the first 5 days but It has gone wrong and I can't bear any more nights of screaming for so long!!

Thanks in advance!

Amy214 Wed 20-Apr-16 15:56:55

Hiya i tried controlled crying with my dd but gave up after an hour lol. I kept looking up sleep training online and found one called the disappaering chair its a gradual retreat over a number of nights until your eventually sitting outside the door. Just search disappearing chair and a lot of different sites will come up i cant copy the link as im on my phone, good luck! smile

Diddlydokey Wed 20-Apr-16 16:00:19

CC isn't a cure all. Why does he wake up at night when he does? It is hard to tell when it is inconsistent.

CC is really a solution for babies/toddlers who cannot fall asleep without a negative sleep crutch and need it again at nighttime and if your kid can sleep through 80% of the time it might not be the right treatment.

Londonmamabychance Wed 20-Apr-16 16:16:05

oh I'm interested in this thread! I'm in the exact same place with an 18 month old who can only fall asleep with one of us in the room. I tried my own version of controlled crying, putting her down with a song + bottle, she would then cry out once the bottle was finished and I'd come and get it, pat her a bit and say 'it's night time, you are going to sleep now etc,' then leave and let her cry for varying amounts of times, depending on how angry/upset she sounded (I think the max I ever managed was 10 minutes though)...and I'd say it works around 50 pct. of the time that she falls asleep within 30 mins, often sooner. My own experience with her - and I know this is a controversial subject and opinion, so have put on my battle helmet for possible rocks coming my way - is that I just feel that if I let her cry for too long, she gets herself worked into a right state and then totally can't go to sleep. If I go into the room after a bit of crying, but not too much, I feel that she knows I'm there, gets reassured, then mad again when I leave, then reassured again etc., and eventually she gives into sleep, with a bit of annoyance and reluctance, but not with despair. I do think if you leave them to cry for too long, you kind of break their spirit a bit : / I know many friends who have done it, let their child cry for hours, (one even told me hid DS cried for 2 hours and threw up out of frustration and anger) for a few nights, and that's it, then they went to sleep with no problems. But who's to say how the experience may have impacted on the child?

that said, I would also like my DD to be able to fall asleep on her own and with less crying, so will be watching this thread, because really don't know how to do it without letting her cry for a long time...

Amy214 Wed 20-Apr-16 17:53:49

Londonmamabychance when i tried CC i felt that dd was just getting more annoyed every time i went in and then left. i can honestly recommend the slow retreat, there isnt as much of a negative impact on dc and its a lot calmer and less stressful for you. After doing it for a month (the 1st time) i could sit in the corner in the dark after reading her a story (in dim lighting) and if she called out i could just say its ok im still here. I have had to start it again as shes transitioned to a toddler bed but i am just doing the same as i was before and shes taken to it a lot better this time round and slept for a full night in her bed after only 3 nights. I dont really agree with CC but i tried it because i was so desperate. A lot of people kept telling me they only give in and go quiet because they think you arent coming back and they are protecting themselves from predators? Maybe the survival instinct kicking in? I dont know if i believed it but it does play on your mind that it will affect them more than you think.

MunchCrunch01 Wed 20-Apr-16 18:01:43

I do controlled crying but I find a longer bedtime routine helps lessen/avoid crying most of the time. I try and think of the crying as tantrums (she's 18 mos), my dd will fight sleep even when I can see she's exhausted and too tired to do anything and I have an elder dc who's bedtime routine I have to do after the toddler so there's no option of doing anything that takes more than 20 mins

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