Why won't the dream feed work!?!!

(81 Posts)
KLG3101 Sun 17-Apr-16 20:23:59

Feeling deflated, shattered and frustrated...

Our DD still wakes twice during the night after a dream feed at 1030pm. What am I doing wrong?

Bedtime routine just now is

615pm bath
645pm feed in nursery dim lights
7pm sleep - sleeps until I dream feed at 1030pm or if I leave her she will
Sleep until 12am/1am
1am wake
4am / 5am wake
7am wake

newmumwithquestions Sun 17-Apr-16 21:13:23

So you're getting about 5/6 hours without the dream feed? That's not bad I'm afraid! How old is your DD? Breast or bottle fed?

Lifeisontheup2 Sun 17-Apr-16 21:15:32

I keep seeing this term 'dream feed', what is it? Is it waking a baby to feed or trying to feed them whilst they're asleep?

Ginmakesitallok Sun 17-Apr-16 21:18:12

What age is she?

BackforGood Sun 17-Apr-16 21:20:14

Not sure what a 'dream feed' is, but that sounds like reasonable chunks of slepp for a little one.

seastargirl Sun 17-Apr-16 21:20:54

Have you tried reducing the bedtime feed and increasing the dream feed, that helped us quite a bit.

IAmAPaleontologist Sun 17-Apr-16 21:21:16

It doesn't work because it is a load of twaddle that doesn't actually work. I completely, totally, utterly understand why you do it (been there doen that while desperate for sleep) but it doesn't work. Just leave her to sleep and go to her when she wakes naturally. She will sleep at some point. Of course you want her longest sleep stretch to be when you are in bed too rather than the evening but she is how she is.

newmumwithquestions Sun 17-Apr-16 21:25:36

To add, a dream feed never worked with either of mine - some people swear by them but I just found it was pointless as neither DD would have a proper feed and it just disturbed their sleep. But it looks like you are trying to get 12 hours out of your baby - may be unrealistic depending how old they are...

Smartiepants79 Sun 17-Apr-16 21:29:02

How old is your baby. Difficult to say if what she's doing is normal or not.

Chickpeachick0 Sun 17-Apr-16 21:32:21

Ditch the dream feed .
How old is baby ?

Dachshund Sun 17-Apr-16 21:33:59

That looks like a dream night to me, I get about 4 nights like that from DD a week which until now made me think she was a pretty ok sleeper!

My DD is 4.5 months, I'd understand your frustration if your child was a lot older?

Stylingwax Sun 17-Apr-16 21:38:41

Looks pretty amazing to me.
My 12 week is nadgy all evening and won't go down then goes to bed with us around midnight, feeds and wakes for another at 5 then down till 8 and I'm dead pleased with that!

Brummiegirl15 Sun 17-Apr-16 21:41:06

Our routine is same as yours for our 16 wk DD but she wakes once at about 4am

Dream feed does really work for us and I'm scared to drop it in case she wakes earlier!

NerrSnerr Sun 17-Apr-16 21:44:50

How old is she? Mine was still up 3 times a night until about 9-10 months and is only just sleeping through at 19 months (most of the time).

Coconut0il Sun 17-Apr-16 21:51:02

How old is she? My DS2 is 8 months and still wakes 3/4 times in the night.

ParsleyTheLion1 Sun 17-Apr-16 22:25:57

Lifeisontheup A dream feed is where you feed baby late in the evening, once he/she has been asleep circa 4 hours, and sort of as you're about to go to sleep yourself.....idea is that you give baby a good 'top up' before you go to sleep so that he/she gives you a decent chunk of sleep in the middle of the night. I was taught the dream feed technique by my maternity nurse: keep baby in very dim lighting, really fast nappy change in near total darkness (some people ditch this bit), swaddle up quickly and stick bottle in baby's mouth, all without waking him/her fully. After bottle finished, put baby straight back down. (I was breastfeeding but in the interests of maximising DS's intake of milk in the shortest amount of time, I would express just before the dream feed and give a bottle of EBM).

Lifeisontheup2 Sun 17-Apr-16 22:57:19

Thanks Parsley I'd never heard of it but then it's a long time since mine were that age and we were always told to 'let sleeping babies lie'. Mine always fed loads between 6pm and 10 pm so I guess they filled up then.

ParsleyTheLion1 Mon 18-Apr-16 09:14:52

I did some 'practice' dream feeds under my mat's nurse supervision, and the first few times i was pretty awful at it (not fast enough at changing nappy/re-swaddling.....woke baby fully etc) and so we joked that rather than them being 'dream feeds' they were 'fuck-up feeds' grin

KLG3101 Mon 18-Apr-16 09:21:10

Sorry I never said, DD is 10 weeks old today. She was 4 weeks early.

Last night she really didn't want to wake for her feed at 1030pm and then woke at 2 and 5. Previously she was waking at 3 and 6 which was fine I could cope with that!! I'm going to try dream feed slightly later tonight and see how we get on

ParsleyTheLion1 Mon 18-Apr-16 09:24:38

I used to do df at around 11.30pm. But get a few hours sleep myself beforehand (i.e. go to be round 9pm, get up to express at 11 in front of some telly, and do df straight after)

purplefizz26 Mon 18-Apr-16 09:44:46

Ten weeks is very young to be expecting sleeping through/no night feeds. It sounds like she is doing very well.

I would leave the dream feed and let her wake herself if or when she wants milk. You can at least get a few hours sleep up until the first waking at 1-2am then?

KLG3101 Mon 18-Apr-16 09:48:12

Thank you. Everyone I speak to has their babies sleeping through the night from 6 weeks - it's making me feel like I am doing something wrong!! Thank you for your replies. I'm going to try DF her tonight at 1130pm

pookamoo Mon 18-Apr-16 09:51:27

Have you looked at growth spurts etc? At 6 weeks there is a spurt, which would be your Dd's corrected age if 4 weeks early.
Dream feeds don't always work, and IME there isn't much point in trying to get a routine for such a tiny one! What she's doing is brilliant for her age!

Starspread Mon 18-Apr-16 09:52:08

Either you know some very lucky people or they haven't been telling the whole truth - other than a handful of lucky nights, I don't know anyone (myself included!) with babies sleeping through the night at that age. Don't sweat it too much, you're doing brilliantly; baby's still very tiny and more sleep will come with time x

ParsleyTheLion1 Mon 18-Apr-16 09:53:38

sleeping through the night from 6 weeks??!!! I don't think I know anyone whose DC did that!

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