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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Sleep

Serious bedtime issues.

19 replies

MummyIsMagic79 · 05/04/2016 01:54

I really need help.(also posted this in behaviour and development, as hadn't forgotten there was sleep topic - tired)

Background.... Have DS 10, DD7 and DS 3. DS's share a room - bunks, 10yr on top and 3yr on bottom. DD has own room. DS 10 has a tv with Xbox, no arial, and goes up to bed between 8-8.30, watches tv for half an hour and then I t goes off (timer). DD the same in her room, but from 7.30. Prob is DS 3. He goes up to bed around 7-7.30 (sometimes 8) and has the iPad (Netflix kids). I know this isn't great but when we moved the boys in together it helped with transition from cot to bunk, kept the peace, no arguing etc.
Only now, DS 3 will NOT go to bed without the iPad, is NEVER tired, doesn't seem to 'wind down' at bedtime, even though has a routine of bath, milk, teeth, cuddle. He is just still bouncing about. Then he gets into bed with the iPad and watches Paw Patrol or Bubble Guppies. The when we take irbid he goes spare! It's a good hour of rapid return after we remove the iPad. Me sitting in the dark in the landing. Poor DS 10 gets kept awake and hates it.
I'm thinking my only option is just to go cold turkey on the iPad, while we all have a bit of time off work and school (this week).
Any tips anyone?

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Kannet · 05/04/2016 05:57

No tips I'm afraid. Sounds horrible for you all. Cold turkey sounds a good option. Maybe ds10 could sleep on a blow up bed in your room for a few nights while it happens

gingerdad · 05/04/2016 06:05

3 y/o with an iPad at night.

Total cold turkey

Bed should be for sleeping and nothing else. Can't believe the tv is part of the other twos bedtime routine either.

Feel you have a big battle to break this habit. Good Luck. But you have built this rod for your back.

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 05/04/2016 06:12

Alright gingerdad, jeez! The OP has posted for advice and support, not to be kicked whilst she's down ffs! This isn't AIBU.

I agree with moving the eldest out for a few days, and I'd do a version of CC with him,in that you leave him for increasing intervals to settle himself with you popping in for reassurance at those times so 2 mins, 4 mins etc.

I recently did this with a much younger non-sleeper and within days she was sleeping right through and able to go off by herself.

Wishing you all the best OP

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 05/04/2016 06:16

Also, it could be that 7 is too early for him now, so perhaps try putting bedtime back a bit? DD1 never went to bed before 8 otherwise she'd just be up constantly til she was tired enough to sleep, so by taking her up at 8/8.30 she just went to sleep 😊 she's never slept more than 10 hours at night, still the same now at 9.

donajimena · 05/04/2016 06:18

Well... ginger dad has it spot on really as the blue light from TVs and ipads etc interferes with the body's circadian rhythm. Maybe cold turkey is a step too far for you but when I had sleep trouble with my eldest our doctor said that we should be clear of all electronic devices for one hour before bed.

Rolypolybabies · 05/04/2016 10:23

I would change what I was doing very gradually. Start with moving ipad out of reach but can still watch an episode or two. Reduce the time gradually. Then move to audio books only so no screen. Reward chart for his cooperation. get the older ones to gradually change to reading books to sleep. Slowly slowly catchy monkey.

I think cold turkey is a bit harsh. He is only little.

Good luck!

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 05/04/2016 10:30

Thing is Roly, the gradual thing will take weeks, cold turkey will have it over and done with in a matter of days. I know rich I'd prefer for everyone's sanity, but it's personal preference.

At 3, my DD was perfectly able to understand that bedtime is sleep time and that we dont get up til the groclock is yellow, so cold turkey would have been fine for her as would totally understand why. I imagine the OPs son would be the same, unless there are SNs .

MummyIsMagic79 · 05/04/2016 20:49

Thank you all. Am currently on night one. He's awake and calling us. Have done bath, bed, milk and stories in bed. (Brother hanging out in sisters room for a while). I am on landing doing a version of CC/rapid return. It's tricky but the best way.
GingerDad, I know it was a daft thing to start but we were having a difficult time and just needed a quick fix. Never dreamed we be in this state eventually.

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Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 05/04/2016 20:53

Good luck OP, I started the same process with my DD 10 days or so ago, she's sleeping fantastically now, I am still not used to the amount of sleep we are all getting!

Stick with it and hopefully it'll work well for you all too.

Here for hand holding if you need it

MummyIsMagic79 · 05/04/2016 21:11

Hi. Sounds like you've done a great job with your DD. Well done!

DS had thrown himself on the bedroom floor in temper, taken it in turns to shout for me then DH, told me he was scared and needed his torch .... but... It has been quiet in there for 15 minutes now! I daren't go in and check!

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Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 05/04/2016 21:15

Ahhhh yes, DD sis the cross bit haha! Once DD was quiet I didn't go in either, if she then started whinging again I left her 2 mins to see if she'd settle before I went ib, and she soon got fed up and just went to sleep. Touch wood we had no serious crying! Fingers crossed you won't either

MummyIsMagic79 · 06/04/2016 20:19

Hi there. Am back again on the landing. He's had bath, milk in bed, snuggles and three stories from DH, and now he just keeps getting out of bed and shouting or banging toys about. Give me strength!

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Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 06/04/2016 20:23

Oh dear, it's hard I know. A firm back to bed it's time for sleep and take him to bed every time. It might take 100 times but he'll get there eventually.

I'm here if you need company

Spudlet · 06/04/2016 20:50

If you update the iPad, you should find something called Nightshift in the settings (think it's under screen brightness). This allows you to set a time for the display to change from blue light to warmer light. I read the iPad in bed doing night feeds, and so far have found it easier to drop back off afterwards.

Might be worth setting this up. Still not a great idea to have it in bed, but setting the screen to change well before bedtime might help with the lack of sleepiness, perhaps?

MummyIsMagic79 · 07/04/2016 21:04

Hello. Night 3! I'm on the landing again. Bedtime was much later than I wanted this evening. Time got away from us. Didn't even take him up for bed/milk/stories until 8.35. Did 15 mins of Zoe and Beans, and Mog and now I'm on the landing.
Interestingly, DS1 and DD have started to love sharing a room and seem to want to keep it up! I don't know if that is a good idea though. DS1 is 10 in a few weeks and DD is 7. Only other option I have is DS2 and DD sharing, problem is, there'd still be the issue of DS2 keeping DD awake, same as he does with DS1. The reason I'm unsure of the two older ones sharing is because I always thought it wouldn't be a great idea when DS1 hit puberty. Who knows when that is? DH says anywhere between 11-13. It would only be from now until a few years time and then she'd move back to her own room, and DS2 would be at school and in a better routine. I think I'm rambling. Just trying to straighten out ideas. Other option is to move to a 4 bed house, but they are a FORTUNE around here and a bit out of grasp for the next few years.

Oh and so far this evening DS2 has only got up once. Hopefully it's starting to work!

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proudmom135 · 07/04/2016 22:16

@MummyisMagic79, this habit has to stop. But it will be a hard time, so do it slowly. Think of another means where DS3 can shift his attention from ipad to something else and start from there.

Thanks

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 08/04/2016 06:40

Morning mummy, so sorry I had an early night so I've only just seen this. How was the rest of the night?

MummyIsMagic79 · 17/04/2016 22:15

Hello. I don't know if anyone is still interested, but...... I think we've cracked it!!

The answer.... Classic FM! He has his warm milk and a cuddle downstairs with us. Then upstairs for teeth, into bed, 2 or 3 stories read to him in bed, by the light of his night-light, then we leave and he usually pops out of his bedroom for a wee about 10 mins later. He calls is to let us know. So we tuck him back in after his wee. USUALLY he then plays with his teddies/books IN his bed and drops off soonish afterwards. I feel like I have actually achieved something. Like I've done a really good parenting thing! I know that sounds daft and it's only been a few weeks, but I am quite happy.

Thanks for everyone who messaged me back. I love mumsnet. It's been such a comfort for so many years.

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MummyIsMagic79 · 17/04/2016 22:17

Oh forgot to say - the Classic FM!! When we leave the room after stories we put Classic FM on a low volume for him. It seems to really help him 🙂

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