Co sleeping with toddler and newborn(13 Posts)
Just after some advice really dc2 is due in October and already have ds1 20 months. Ds1 normally starts night in own cot then comes in with me when he wakes up. However last few nights (since clocks changed) I have been going to sleep with him in our bed from the start of the night and he has slept through for the first time really since he was born .
I have had some lovely full nights sleep and can't help but think shall I just keep it like this and we both get a good nights sleep. However my only concern is when dc2 is born I have a co sleeper cot will the baby wake the toddler in the night . Should I try and get ds1 into his own room .
What I really want to know is does anyone have any experience and wisdom they can share about co sleeping with 2?
...... Just to add dh doesn't sleep in with us anyway as he has to be up for work at 4.30am so not an issue.
I've no experience but I think I'd be worried about the toddler not getting enough quality sleep if being woken by a crying baby for feeds etc, which could then makes the daytime harder if you've got a overtired tantrumy toddler and a little one.
However, others may come along who have done it and say it didn't impact the older one too much so it may be ok.
DD1 starts on her bed then comes in. At first DD2 did disturb her but newborns don't cry that loudly so it wasn't every time. And she got used to it really quickly, within a couple of weeks it made no difference.
We found when dd2 arrived dd1 wanted to start the night in our room, I think she wanted reassurance she wasn't missing out on a party! So even if you did get dc1 staying in his bed all night it might regress.
She's managed a couple of weeks sleeping through in her own bed recently which is brilliant.
DS is five and still co-sleeping. The baby doesn't wake him at all when she cries ( I was hoping she would so DS would want to move to his own room . . . )
Thanks everyone .... Another full nights sleep last night with him in with me doubt it's a coincidence .
I would be more worried about my toddler jumping allover baby in the middle of the night. Maybe it's just mine but I can't leave him alone with my baby for even a few minutes and wouldn't trust him when I was asleep. Very affectionate with her but just doesn't realise how delicate she is.
This seems like a blissful no-brainer to me, especially as you don't have to take your dh into account. I, and several of my friends, co-sleep with kids with the same age gap as yours, only we're a couple of years further down the line. We all co-slept with our dc1s and just carried on when dc2 came along. It's been great and sleep has been abundant!
We have a similar set-up to you; a cosleeping cot (DD2, now 2) attached to my kingsize bed (which I share with DD1, 5). DP, who requires very particular sleeping conditions sleeps in another room, although he is supportive of co-sleeping. I found that bedtime was particularly nice in the early days (bar a bout of colic, which needed a different plan) with getting both ready for bed together, then snuggling down to feed DD2 and cuddle DD1 to sleep. DD1 wasn't troubled by the newborn cries of DD2, neither was DD2 woken by the nightly howls of DD1's when she suffered a spell of night terrors. I was able to bf dd2 lying down, so the whole arrangement has been really smooth. DD2 still did the usual baby waking up when small, but demand feeding ensured she always went straight back to sleep, and I am so relieved that I never had to get up for anything in the night, bar the occasional wee for DD1 (potty under the bed, easy peasy).
Now they are older, it's the sweetest thing ever; they wake up together in the morning, as if psychically connected , reach across to each other and say little sweet nothings to one another: "Good morning...I love you...You're the loveliest sister ever." No kidding. My friends who are still co-sleeping / bfing children with a similar age-gap would also recommend the arrangement in a heartbeat.
Good luck, and enjoy the sleep!
On a safety notice, I should add that I used to make sure that DD1 always fell asleep on the far side of the big bed, as far from the cot as possible, and then I would build a low wall of pillows to keep DD1 from rolling towards the cot side of the bed until I would go to bed and take the place of central spacer. Now they like to go to sleep holding hands and DD2 is a lot more robust, so I let them lie next to each other now if they want to.
bodicea thanks for the reply I would be planning to sleep in between them anyway and am a light sleeper.
Thanks for the advice peacefuleasyfeeling it's nice to hear from someone who has been there and done it. It does feel like a no brainier at the moment as I am pregnant and we are both getting more sleep than ever which is much needed .... Good for us both. I plan to have ds on the far side with a bed guard ( as he is now) and new baby on other side in co sleeper with me in the middle . Who knows if it will work until the time comes. But at the moment we are getting sleep , dh is very supportive thankfully. Not everyone I mention it to is though so I'm just going to keep my mouth shut from now on.
That's people in real life btw , each to their own I understand that not everyone agrees with each other's parenting choices. What works for one doesn't for another.
Whilst I have a did cosleep with both my children, I would never allow them to sleep together or next to each other, the risk of the eldest suffocating the baby is too high IMO, nor would I build a tower of pillows / cushions for the same reason.
Personally I would try to encourage the eldest to stay in their own bed for as much as possible, even if that means transferring the bed into your own room!
Thanks knaffedoff that's always an option, baby not due until October so a lot can change between now and then I feel so will see how it goes. The baby wouldn't be left alone to sleep with the toddler when they are really little anyway , or left to sleep alone in another room tbh:
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