Help please I'm desperate

(18 Posts)
Sazy84 Thu 24-Mar-16 02:33:04

My 9 month old just gets worse and worse. She can sleep thro and has done many times before- I just can't remember last time it happened.
We have a bed time routine, she goes down fine. But she wakes so often now- 11, 12, 2, 3, 4, 5. Sometimes she just moans; like she's bored. A constant mono tone moan. Sometimes she kicks off and needs a bottle to settle her. Sometimes I rub her back for up to an hour, or rock her; sometimes it settled her, sometimes it doesn't . She's driving me mad and causing lots of trouble between my husband and I. I return to work in 2, weeks - I can't cope on no sleep. I'm desperate - please help!

KimmySchmidtsSmile Thu 24-Mar-16 02:36:55

So sorry. cakebrew
You will hate my suggestion but the only thing I can think of is co-sleeping looks at 3 year old snoring next to me
If your 'd'h vetos that then HE gets up to her not you.

IHaveBrilloHair Thu 24-Mar-16 02:43:26

I'd also say cosleep, but then I never did, nor did I get up to moaning, but that was 14 yrs ago and I think it's probably not what people do now.

Sazy84 Thu 24-Mar-16 05:35:56

Thanks but I can't bring her into bed with us- there's no room, we might squash her. Also, she may try to escape. I just tried leaving her to moan for 30 mins, but then she started uncontrollable screaming. Had to get a bottle. I'm so tired!

What are other people's bedtime routines with 9-10 months olds?

Fedupoftheheat Thu 24-Mar-16 06:06:37

Is she in your room? My baby is almost 1 and he moans in his sleep and has a bit of a whimper but he's in his own room so I don't hear it now and I wouldn't go in if I did. I only go in if he's really crying. Then I just give him his dummy and snuggly toy and leave.

MingZillas Thu 24-Mar-16 06:17:07

Sorry you're going through this OP. I remember it well and tbh it puts me off having more of the little buggers.

I co slept with dd as she needed the boob and comfort. It meant that we all got a bit of sleep. She's on a mattress in her room so I'd just get in with her. Could you set up something on the floor to sleep together?

My dd is 20 months now and can sleep for fairly long periods on her own now, sometimes she sleeps through. I'd never have thought it would happen. Just hang in there and try and work something out to maximise how much sleep you all get. It'll get better brew cake

Jw35 Thu 24-Mar-16 06:18:32

So she can sleep through? What started this, a cold/illness? At 9 months my dd was sleeping through unless she was ill. She's 15 months now and I've had 4 nights up with her due to flu. It's been exhausting so I feel your pain! It's hard to know what to advise as tbh you're doing what I would do! I never get up straightaway, I wait for actual crying rather than moaning but I always respond. I have co slept but as you say they can escape now! Id be interested in what happened to change from sleeping to not sleeping?

Fedupoftheheat Thu 24-Mar-16 06:25:44

Has she got new teeth coming through too? My Ds is teething and I was up for 4 hours with him the other night. It's brutal.

MingZillas Thu 24-Mar-16 06:33:05

I thought maybe teething as well fedup. I found the nurafen was the only thing that worked.

MarvellousCake Thu 24-Mar-16 06:52:09

My dd was like this for a long time. Your DH might not like this but one thing that helped for us was getting him to do the night time visits. Somehow was less rewarding for DD and so reduced waking. He is generally v calm and quiet though. Also are you sure she's not sleeping too much in the day?

Sazy84 Thu 24-Mar-16 08:10:44

Hello. Thank you all for your messages.
She has slept through and can do. She seems to be teething all the time. She was diagnosed with an ear infection on Sunday but has been on antibiotics. The only problem is, this week it's just a bit worse but it's been like this for weeks. She did have a dummy a while ago but it kept falling out when she slept which woke her up - every 15 mins- so I got rid. That was at 6 months. She has slept thro since then. During the day she has two naps- morning and afternoon. For about an hour each. How old can you put soft toys in their cot to comfort them? Is 9 months too early? X

LemonShizzleCake Thu 24-Mar-16 08:21:51

I read somewhere that it can be very comforting if you fill a glove with dried beans/peas and stitch the end up (and obviously make sure there are no holes in the glove so the beans stay securely inside), then rest it on your baby when you go in to comfort them. Give her a few pats and then quietly leave - the idea is that she feels like it's your hand, so is comforted back to sleep.

Huge disclaimer: I have never actually tried this myself but have heard of others who've had great success. Thought I'd mention as you seem desperate and it just might work, Sazy! Good luck cake brew flowers

MarvellousCake Thu 24-Mar-16 10:09:23

I would happily use a small 'baby' soft toy/blanket/cuddly at this age, but I'm not sure what the official guidance is...

Fedupoftheheat Fri 25-Mar-16 04:38:38

Yes the only toy my Ds has is a little snuggly blanket. I read somewhere that his sleep toy is just that. For sleep only, not to play with during the day, so they know when you give them it at night, it's sleep time.
We've got a holiday planned next week which is a long haul flight and on our return I'll be getting rid of the dummy. I shall no doubt be on here in the small hours weeping.

Lovemylittlebears Fri 25-Mar-16 05:28:43

No cry sleep solution by Elizabeth pantley is a good read

nutbrownhare15 Fri 25-Mar-16 07:04:03

My sympathies-it's awful. This age notorious for sleep regressions. I just bought a sleepyhead and 3 nights in it's worked wonders for my little one's sleep (8 months). No effect on 1st night (think she was getting used to it) but now gone from 5 wake ups a night down to two. What also really helped me was paying a gentle sleep consultant ( so no crying) to work out a plan for how to improve sleep. It's worked wonders for settling her to bed more easily and going longer to first wake up just by changing bedtime and night time environment. I paid £75 and worth every penny. Send me a pm if you would like her details. This shall pass. See surviving a sleep thief on Facebook for humour. And get as much support as you can to catch up on sleep in the day, this is really important.

tiredybear Fri 25-Mar-16 19:56:24

My LO's sleep got much worse around the same age. We were spending hours patting him and for a few weeks (felt like FOREVER) he would scream inconsolably for a few hours from around 1am. It was torture. then...he just started sleeping better again.
We got through it by taking turns. Can your OH help out?

I second PP...this too shall pass. Hang on in there.

Writerwannabe83 Fri 25-Mar-16 21:13:03

Oh Op - you have my sympathies.

When my DS was 9 months I was absolutely on my knees. He woke constantly through the night, would sometimes be awake for hours and my only hope of getting him back to sleep was to feed him and if they failed I was screwed. I can't even put into words how exhausted I was. He didn't nap in the day either. My life was very bleak, it was affecting my mood, my enjoyment of my son and my marriage.

As my return to work date approached I knew I couldn't cope on so little sleep and me and DH sought the advice of a sleep consultant and we did CC.

I know you don't co-sleep (I also tried that) but is your daughter in her own room? This was the first thing I was advised to do and I think it played a huge role in improving his sleep.

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