The child minder says my DS should be on one nap by 11mo, is this right?

(25 Posts)
FifiFerusha Tue 01-Mar-16 11:14:25

Argh, a bit frightened. I will be going back to work in June(just for two days a week) . My DS will be 11mo by then. I have a childminder set up who takes all the kids out to groups and things in the morning and then all the babies(her youngest is 17 mo) sleep in the afternoon from 12.30 until 3(ha, in for a shock with my DS who seems to be a catnapper). I explained that I was worried as since my DS (7.5 mo) is on three naps still I didn't know how he would manage on the one nap without being overtired even by that age. Surely by 11 mo most are on two naps. Feel so bad for my poor little boy. Have tried so hard with his sleep and I think it will yet again take a big hit. I actually feel like crying for him but that is just entwined with the emotions of having to leave him to go back to work.

She says she could give him a nap in the pram(ha, yet another shock to be had, my little over stimulated man will not sleep in a pram) So anybody else's 11 mo on one nap a day? I think she might be wrong but not entirely sure.

icklekid Tue 01-Mar-16 11:17:22

Ha my 19 month old still has 2 naps! One 8.30-9.30 and then 1-2.30ish it was important to me to find a childminder who was flexible to fit with ds not impose a regime on him. Some will my ds would be shattered!

icklekid Tue 01-Mar-16 11:19:03

However he will nap in pram for childminder and not for me! Worth letting her try if she's willing to go with it

Annarose2014 Tue 01-Mar-16 11:19:12

No, they're on 2 naps at that age.

My lad dropped his afternoon nap at 12 months but it was so early that I was really worried about it. But he had never been a great napper and he just never had 2 naps again so I rolled with it. But from my frantic Googling research he was highly unusual.

I would worry you're going to be handed back a very very overtired baby at the end of every day and you'll have terrible nights as a result.

dementedpixie Tue 01-Mar-16 11:22:49

Some are on one and some have more so it depends in the child. Both mine were on one nap by 11 months but my sister's kids still had more at the same age

Girliefriendlikesflowers Tue 01-Mar-16 11:24:21

I think my dd was still on 2 naps a day till she was about 1yo but I would say that because being at the cms is such a different set up he probably will surprise you and go with the new routine. If she takes them all out in the morning the chances are he will be that knackered in the afternoon that he will sleep for longer.

You probably have to go with it for a few months and see how it pans out, of not the right cm/ environment for him you will soon know!

ProfessorPickles Tue 01-Mar-16 11:26:33

My DS was on two naps until he was about 20 months, maybe older. I think it was just before his second birthday that he dropped down to one nap a day, he's always relied on his naps to stop him getting overtired before bed and he's always been a happy boy. Apart from when he misses naps of course grin

Only1scoop Tue 01-Mar-16 11:26:35

Dd had morning one and an hour and a half after lunch until she was 18 months ....dropped the afternoon at 2.

Nursery worked around her routine though. She always slept in cot in gro bag.

DC are all different re day sleeps. Your cm knows that I'm sure.

Good luck on return.

Heavens2Betsy Tue 01-Mar-16 11:28:48

Change your childminder! That sounds too rigid a system.
All babies are different and she should take that into account.

donkir Tue 01-Mar-16 11:33:47

In other words she wants a couple of hours to herself.
My 13 month old still has 2 naps although on group days he'll just have 1. As he's only there for 2 days could he have 1 nap there and then catch up when he's with you?

PennyHasNoSurname Tue 01-Mar-16 11:36:41

Haha well she can try cant she!

Ds is 16mo and most days has one nap but often needs a quick snooze in the mornins (maybe twoce a week)

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs Tue 01-Mar-16 11:37:24

The majority of 11 month olds I have known are still on 2 naps a day. This CM sounds as if she likes the children to have a long afternoon nap at the same time so she can have a rest. I'd see if you can find a different CM. A good one will work with your child's existing routine as much as possible rather than trying to force them to comply with one that suits them.

WitteryTwittery Tue 01-Mar-16 11:38:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PennyHasNoSurname Tue 01-Mar-16 11:39:19

Love the assumption the cm just wants a few hours off! Maybe she has preschool age kids who dont nap so she plays with them? Maybe she uses the 2.5 hrs to cook the mindees dinner/prep activities/do paperwork.

gallicgirl Tue 01-Mar-16 11:39:36

My 11 month old has 2 naps a day. He can be a cat napper too, often only napping for 20 to 30 minutes.
Quite frankly child and childminder have to roll with it. DS sleeps in car or pushchair and he survives. He's a nosy little monkey so hates to miss out on anything.

FifiFerusha Tue 01-Mar-16 11:41:54

Thank you, I wasn't sure she was right either x

I really don't think my DS will be ready for a one nap as he is still a short napper and it is the only available cm. oh, oh, oh. It is crazy cos I I'll be with him 5 days a week but it will be a struggle spending that time getting him over the OT just to start again the next week. Perhaps I should start encouraging him to take all morning naps in the pram from now on. May take a while for him to get used to it but may be worth a try(fingers crossed). It is so annoying though when you have worked so hard to get them to sleep in their cot. I think I need to tell the cm I am worried about it and she may be more inclined to try and help. I just presumed she was right when she spoke to me.

FATEdestiny Tue 01-Mar-16 11:44:29

DC1, DC2, DC3 - all on one 2-3h lunchtime nap by 12 month old (so would be transitioning to this at 11 months)

DC4 - Currently 17 months and no sign of her budging from her two naps a day.

No problem in your childminder working towards moving to 1 nap for your DC, but if the child isn't ready then the child isn't ready. Child will have to sleep in pushchair if out with other children though.

Only1scoop Tue 01-Mar-16 11:47:20

No she's not right.

Only cm with a vacancy would worry me aswell.

Enjoy the rest of your time off don't start stressing about this.

FATEdestiny Tue 01-Mar-16 11:52:01

(just for two days a week)

I would say that for two days a week, he should just be able to sleep a bit more on the days he's home with you to catch up on his sleep. It would be much harder to deal with if he was spending 5 days a week not getting enough sleep, but two days he can catch up on.

A lot will change in the coming months anyway.

Having him able to nap in the pushchair is a useful thing anyway. Not only for when at childminders, also for things like if you go on holiday or start going out for daytrips with him.

Bearing in mind you may have another year or two of your son having naps, being able to nap in the pushchair has its long term uses. I wouldn't use a pushchair routinely for naps, so you working on cot naps has definite value and isn't a waste of time. But having the pushchair as an option for naps as well is definitely worth it.

Frusso Tue 01-Mar-16 11:53:00

I think it's less forced and more that's the pattern that they fall into when you do groups in the morning. Being at group occupies and distracts them from napping, then after lunch most some don't nap in the day at all fall asleep for a longer nap.
During which time the cm gets to have her own lunch and do planning, trackers and other paperwork.

waitingforsomething Mon 07-Mar-16 14:03:07

My dd went to a childminder from 10mo who would only put children down in bed once a day after lunch. She still slept twice a day but her morning nap tended to be in the car or pushchair while the cm took the older children out to a group or softplay etc. It's difficult for CMs to be at home all the time facilitating baby sleep patterns so they have to fit in a bit which I think is fair enough if you choose a Cm over a nursery.
If the CM was staying at home that morning dd would be put down in bed.

Loulou2kent Mon 07-Mar-16 14:36:28

You will be amazed at how well little ones adapt to new routines. If I have babies we nap at 9-9.30 or 9.30-10am after school run but before a group or park then a nap from 1-1.30. Some days the children don't need one & push through. Other days if ones really tired they sleep a little longer. Childminders should be flexible to a point even though I do understand her reasons for being up & out. There's a lot to document these days & ofsted do like a childminder who uses all her local facilities & children's centres & does outdoors things. But I agree he is young & most still have two naps at 11 months. He will soon fall into a routine of being up dressed & out the door early that he's happy to nap at 9.30 then off to a group, lunch & then a longer nap in afternoon. Plus children are amazing at sleeping for childminders most of the time. I've had to film me putting a child in a cot to sleep once for the mum because she just couldn't get her head round that he would just lay down & close eyes. She then copied at home & she was so happy. Children behave so different when not with parents.

If your not happy. Keep looking. And if everything else works. Then maybe ask for her to give your child a month of morning naps & see how he goes. No one wants an over tired child so hopefully she will keep his routine as much as possible.

Goodluck op. Nothing easy about going back to work & childcare!

Loulou2kent Mon 07-Mar-16 14:37:21

1-2.30 not 1-1.30 hmm

starry0ne Mon 07-Mar-16 16:58:29

I am a c.minder and have had various parents tell me how there children sleep.. Some will and some won't fit into my routine...I have had parents tell me it takes up to an hour and a half to get DC to sleep... I can't spent that time with them as I have other children to care for but have never needed an hour to get any child to sleep...Children do behave differently with c.minders to their parents.

On the point of one nap a day... they really vary from one child to another.. I have children the same age one naps one doesn't..

NewLife4Me Mon 07-Mar-16 17:01:31

I couldn't employ somebody who seemed to know so little about child development.
There are no "They are supposed to" at this age as the range of normal is immense.
I'd find somebody better tbh.

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