I've been awake since 2.30 and I'm so fucking fed up.

(22 Posts)
Youcantscaremeihavechildren Sat 20-Feb-16 05:25:42

I dont know why um posting really except that im feeling so hopeless and I'm sat here crying with tiredness..something has to change and i sont know what to do.DS is 10.5 months. Has never slept through. Used to do a good 6hr stretch and maybe 2 waking which was fine but recently, since 6 months, nothing longer than 2 hrs, sometimes 1. I'm back at work and I'm like the walking dead with lack of sleep.
So, this week as I'm off for half term we thought we'd try to cut down or out completely the night feeds using the jay gordon method as it had got ridiculous with constant feeding from 4am and hourly feeds almost up until then to get him back to sleep..he barely eats in the day after all night feeds and has never taken much milk away from me.
DH managed to settle him to sleep without being fed to sleep for 3 nights in a row, then I've managed it twice, he's even settled last night for me lying in his cot with me rubbing his tummy.
So he can settle with cuddles but the problem is he just keeps on frigging waking! I thought we were having a possible good night, he slept from 3 hrs, had a feed, I then said no more until the morning..I go to bed and he's then awake an hour later..cuddle and off to sleep again..then up again and hour later, again cuddles but just won't be put down. Every time I do he wakes again and starts crying. Tried leaving him, he just screams. Tried letting him lay on me, he sleeps for a bit then gets restless and roots for boob and then screams.
Ive given in and fed him at 4am after I've been awake over 2 hrs and he just won't let me put him down.
DH tried to settle him and he just screamed. We have a 6 yr old so I can't let him go on too much or he'll wake her. So I've given up and brought him downstairs and will try to get him to have a nap in an hour.
I really don't want to give up on this but I just can't see how it's ever going to get better. We aren't up for doing cc or cio, at least not until he's past a year, but I can't carry on like this either.
Just needed to get that off my chest as ive bored everyone I know about his lack of sleep, I'm sure they think im making it up and it can't be that bad still. I know newborns who are sleeping better.Dd was awful too so i know he will sleep in the end but ut took till she was 3..he is so much worse too!

Elllicam Sat 20-Feb-16 05:47:29

sad I can sympathise. My 19 month old has been up since 230 too and I am so tired I could cry.

winchester1 Sat 20-Feb-16 05:54:50

What are his days like for naps etc. Is he basically reverse cycling so je can get Brest milk when you are there?

Fugghetaboutit Sat 20-Feb-16 05:55:14

10 months was when I did sleep training with ds and never looked back. Look into gentle sleep training

SushiAndTheBanshees Sat 20-Feb-16 06:09:33

I sleep trained at 6ko, which a the point at which they say a baby doesn't NEED to wake in the night for milk. Took two days and she's been a dream sleeper ever since

Youcantscaremeihavechildren Sat 20-Feb-16 06:35:02

Sympathy to you ellie o cant face the thought of another year of this..
winchester hes never napped well, was only doing 20mins at a time for a while,,but it's got better. He will sleep 30mins in the morning amd sometimes an hour or more at lunch. My mum can get him to sleep just by rocking and laying him down, I can't, he has to have a feed. He is reverse cycling a bit I think, eats well but only takes 6oz max all day of formula.
I've read all the gentle sleep stuff, this stopping feeding thing is part ofvthat, idea is to extend it to all night gradually. Getting him to sleep without a feed at all is progress i guess, It's just really hard to see that at 3am..

Iamnotloobrushphobic Sat 20-Feb-16 06:42:02

Could you offer him water at night instead if milk? He might eventually consider it not worth waking if he only gets a bottle of water.

Youcantscaremeihavechildren Sat 20-Feb-16 10:05:00

Yep, all hes getting is water! He finally went off for a nap and so did I, which helped.
I guess we just keep going..I'm going to need matchsticks at work next week if it takes much longer for him to give up and sleep!

Geordiegirl79 Mon 22-Feb-16 07:31:55

You have my sympathy...both times when I went back to work, mine decided that 4:30am was the perfect time to start the day. It was bloody awful and the two year old is still pretty bad. Really frustrating as well when friends' younger babies seem to all sleep through like angels.

I'm afraid I don't have any great suggestions as we never managed to crack it but wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and sympathising.

Purpleboa Mon 22-Feb-16 08:46:49

Been awake since 230 too :*( there are no words really...

Youcantscaremeihavechildren Wed 24-Feb-16 18:38:02

Thanks..this was a few days ago but it hasnt got much better. Im trying to get to ved early but i get nothing done then, work or housework.
It really can't carry on like this, he'll break me!

WifOfBif Wed 24-Feb-16 20:41:54

I'm feeling your pain. I was up last night at 12am, then up for two hours between 2am and 4am, and again at 5.50am before my alarm went off for work at 6.30am.

My DD has had a cold and I suspect is teething again, but it's invariable.

If you're at your limit, have you considered cry it out? If that's too tough for you how about something more gentle like pick up put down? The key is consistency whichever method you pick. Good luck flowers

WifOfBif Wed 24-Feb-16 20:42:24

Unbearable*. Can't even type I'm that tired!

Gotosleep123 Wed 24-Feb-16 20:52:28

Here with you guys with my 9.5 mo. Wakes every 30 mins through the evening then every 1-2 hours after. He has done since 12 weeks. I. Am. So. Tired. And back at work next week. DH doesn't do no sleep well so I'm on my own. My toddler likes to jazz things up with random night waking too. One down, one up some nights. I don't know how parents of twins cope!!

He will self settle like op's baby then just wakes all the time, stands and cries. I have cosleep a good chunk of the night (sleep training failed, just resulted in waking for a two hour party at 2) in order not to go mad.

Youcantscaremeihavechildren Wed 24-Feb-16 21:35:39

Oh god that sounds awful .at least I can rely on my 5 yr old to sleep. DH tries but he either doesnt wake or just turns over and ignores! Plus DS just cries for him anyway..

WifI think our main problem is major separation anxiety, he cries as soon as hes out of my sight or even put sown for a few mins so I just can't see my way to sleep training yet, however I'm planning t try something in four weeks when hes 1 and I have 2 weeks off to really try getting him off bf to go vack to sleep. The last time I tried it was hours awake so I'm just going to wait it out a little longer.
Off to bed, 3 hrs continuous sleep would be amazing, I'd be a new woman! Fingers crossed! not bloody likely

Sunbeam18 Wed 24-Feb-16 21:38:01

Get help from a sleep therapist. Seriously, it's the best money you'll ever spend. We did at 18 months when the will to live was draining away...

NickyEds Wed 24-Feb-16 21:55:15

Hopefully you're asleep op- and stay that way for a good while! I just wanted to say that my ds nearly broke us with night waking at this age. From 6ish months he'd go to bed with a feed then wake up every 90 minutes or so all night. When I became pregnant dp took over the night wakings (at 11 months)and lasted three weeks before we had to Do Something. We broke the feeding to sleep association (we moved him to cows milk at 11.5 months so did it all at the same time)so he had a bottle downstairs then teeth then bed. He settled ok so we then night weaned him. No milk during the night, just water. This went ok but we replaced milk with rocking and this proved hardest to stop. We did a version of cc and it was horrendous for one night, 20 minutes of crying for the second night and he slept through the third night. I know it's not for everyone but it really worked for us. Hope you had some sleep.

waceystills Wed 24-Feb-16 22:07:22

I did the same as nicky. It really did take two nights of cc with DS, 11 months. I went back in to shush and rub his back after 2, 4 & 8 minutes, never got to 16 at any point.

I thought I wouldn't want to do cc but teaching DS to fall asleep on his own is for his benefit. Naps and bedtime are now a breeze and when he wakes at night he gets himself back to sleep.

I read many a post like mine on mn before I was convinced though.

Gotosleep123 Thu 25-Feb-16 20:37:32

I have to say I've done controlled crying before, and I revisited it tonight- it doesn't ever take him long to go down. But it doesn't stop him waking- he's woken twice already since 7 sad

Youcantscaremeihavechildren Thu 25-Feb-16 21:54:32

Well we had two crappy nights of sleep, ds has a temp and horrible cough..so probably won't get any sleep tonight either, I've spent all evening with a very hot baby lying on me.
There's always something! We'll get this out of the way and it'll be teething again..
So bloody tired, it's like wading through custard at the moment every day.

Sometimesithinkimbonkers Fri 26-Feb-16 17:46:27

Shall I offer you a bit of realism ????

I have ds8 ds6 and dd4.

DS 6 is disabled he has a rare genetic mutation... His morning is 2:30am ... No naps and then we use 2 drugs to make him sleep at 7pm....

He is 6 years old..... I've got up at 2:30 for the past 6 years!!!!!
Sleep is for losers!!!

Gotosleep123 Sat 27-Feb-16 21:11:06

That sounds very hard something, it must be hard listening to people complain about things when really we don't have it that bad. I guess we know we don't really, but lack of sleep distorts your sense of perspective. I really hope things get easier for you flowers

You cantscareme- I agree it is one thing after another sometimes. I've given and I'm just cosleeping. I'm too soft for all the crying!!

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