14 week old fights naps

(2 Posts)
MrsB0412 Tue 09-Feb-16 11:20:55

Hi
My 14 week old does not sleep thru night yet. Generally she goes down around 8pm after Bath massage and bottle
She will Stir once or twice leading up to around 2ish then wake for feed
It takes me a min or hour to resettle her and she normally always wakes around 1 Hr after this and won't settle again unless in bed with me (yes I know the sids risks)

Recently she has started becoming a nightmare with naps too
Every nap 3 times a day consists of an hour long crying battle before she drops off
It doesn't matter whether I hold her or rock her or put her in cot etc she just screams

I've offered her teething rings in case it's this which she doesn't seem interested in

She stopped taking her Dummy at about 10 weeks old

I've offered her food which results in just taking half Oz or so,.. So not really hungry and just comforting on bottle

I know I could take her for drive or walk in pram but surely thus shouldn't have to be solution for every nap?
I've tried settling her early at the very first sign Ie the first yawn or eye rub and it makes no difference

I've left her to cry for 5 min and it gets worse and breaks my heart too much

Is there anything else I'm maybe doing wrong?

It's hard enough having such poor broken sleep at night but now this hour of fighting 3 times a day is exhausting too!

FATEdestiny Tue 09-Feb-16 12:43:37

Every nap 3 times a day consists of an hour long crying battle before she drops off

I would suggest that baby is over tired. I would not expect more than 60-80 minutes awake time between one nap and the next.

You also don't seem to have any established mechanism to get baby to sleep. Now is the start of the time when you have to find sustainable ways to help baby get to sleep and stay asleep.

Sleep changes completely at 3 to 4 months old, so right where you are. It stops being passive and becomes active. In the first 3 months of baby's life sleep is like in the womb, a passive state. If all needs are met baby will sleep and baby will wake when a need (food, nappy etc) is not met. Sleep requires no thought or work, it is the default.

From 3-4 months old baby's sleep matures. It develops into cycles (similar to an adults sleep) with periods of deep sleep, light sleep and sometimes 'environment check' brief wakes between sleep cycles. Sleep is no longer passive - it requires active work for baby to get to sleep and for baby to stay asleep during the lighter sleeping phases in the cycle.

Previously, the concept of "getting to sleep" was unknown to baby. Now starts the hard work. Developing ways of helping baby sleep can become all-consuming for a while.

All of the well-established ways of getting baby to sleep are based around certain comforting things for the baby
- Sucking (BF to sleep, dummy)
- Rhythmic movement (rocking, bouncy chair, sling walking, pushchair, car)
- Feeling secure (being held, co-sleeping, reassuring presence, swaddle when young, sleepyhead mattress)
- Feeling comforted (patting, stroking, tickling, firm hand on chest, snuggling into a comforter)

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