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Is it EVER ok to wake a sleeping baby?

11 replies

SouthernComforter · 02/02/2016 19:30

DS2 is 12 weeks today. At first I thought he was going to be one of those miracle sleepers but recently we've been really struggling with naps. Today he managed 2-3 of about 30 minutes, he used to do hours. Lying with him, bouncing him in the chair, walking with the pram, all these things work temporarily, if at all.

Could he be sleeping too much at night? He usually does about 11-12 hours. Last night he did 12.5 (with two feeds) and got up at 9.15 this morning (partly because he napped so little yesterday). He'll have to be up earlier tomo as big brother goes to nursery on Wednesdays.

Should I be waking him up earlier in the day? He still sleeps in the sleepyhead, next to me. Should I move him to a cot and be more rigid about naptimes? (He's too big for it now really anyway. ) He often gets upset before any kind of sleep, is this a normal part of learning to self settle? So many questions! I just hate seeing him getting tireder and rattier (we both get tireder and rattier!) but can't allow himself to drop off...

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babyconverse · 02/02/2016 19:53

No answers but very interested in the responses that you get so place marking ...

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DangerMouth · 02/02/2016 20:00

So is your concern that he's not getting enough day naps?

Dd2 sleeps about 12 hours a night and has done since around 8 weeks. She's now nearly 20 weeks and is starting to do 1 x 1 hour morning nap and 1 x 2 hour midday nap and then nothing until bed around 6.30

But I think I'm unusual in that l try to give dd2 all her naps in her cot (where she sleeps) and stick to the same sleep cues (put in grobag, dummy, rocked in chair). Could you be trying too many things?

She was also in a sleepyhead but l moved her out around 12 weeks as she was getting to big for it also.

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DangerMouth · 02/02/2016 20:04

Oh didn't answer your question

I always make sure dd2 is awake by 7.30. It took me a while to do this with dd1, due to spending hours and l mean hours bf every bloody night until 12 weeks! Once l started waking her at the same time, if she wasn't already, she fell into a good routine too.

I'm not saying to do this btw, just telling you what worked for me.

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SouthernComforter · 02/02/2016 20:05

I don't do all those things at once. But maybe I should just be doing grobag (haven't used one at all for him yet, partly because he's in the slerpyhead) and putting him down. Because he often cries (screeches) before sleep I'm often holding/ stroking. Maybe I should let him get on with it... thanks for your suggestions.

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Buttwing · 02/02/2016 20:06

Everyone is different but I always used to wake my babies at seven. I have 4dc and that's what time we need to get up in the week I found a 7-7 routine worked best for us.

At 12 weeks they used to sleep from about 8.30-9.15. They Would fall asleep on the school run, at the weekends I would put them in the car seat and rock them they would usually be asleep in 5 mins.
Then from 12ish til 2.30 while I was trying to establish this nap I would get them to sleep in a bouncy chair (after the biggest feed I could get down them!) if they started to wake I would bounce them until they dropped off again 45 mins was always a danger time as that's when they come into a light sleep. Eventually they would stop waking and would have a long nap. When i felt they were ready i would move them upstairs into the big cot for their naps it would take a few days to get them used to settling in the cot on their own but usually they were half asleep from their feed. I would wake them at half two so I could feed before school pick up. But even with my first I would wAke at half two. They would have a short nap at about 4 for 20 mins. Then I start bath and bed at 6.30 and bed by seven.

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newyear16 · 02/02/2016 20:06

I had to get my baby dd up whether or not she was sleeping because of taking my other dc to school

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DangerMouth · 02/02/2016 20:18

Dd2 will cry if she's overtired. I then have to walk around a bit in our room, patting her bottom firmly and if she's really tired screechy shshing very loudly!

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FATEdestiny · 02/02/2016 20:26

Is it EVER ok to wake a sleeping baby?

Ask any Mum of school age children and you will get a similar answer. I am another Mum of four alongside Buttwing (hello btw!) so it is absolutely unavoidable that baby has to be up in time to have been fed and got dressed ready for the morning school run. I also need to time naps so that they work with the after-school pickup too. Those with children part-time at nursery will have a lunchtime pickup to fit in too.

So yes, it is often necessary to wake up a sleeping baby. Likewise manipulate nap times so that they fit in with the routines of the rest of the family.

He usually does about 11-12 hours

This is fine. Unless you have to, I wouldn't disrupt this. Baby need more frequent daytime naps, this isn't achieved by waking baby up earlier in the morning. Watch time spent awake between naps, limit to about 60-80 minutes awake before getting baby back to sleep in the daytime. Naps of 30-45 minutes are not unusual at this age.

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KittyCatKittyCat · 02/02/2016 20:32

Have had a sleeper and non-sleeper, and do what suits you best.
By that hugely vague statement I mean, something you do different today will not break any routine or pattern that follows tomorrow. If you need a lie in and baby obliges, take it. If you need to be up and out, do it. If they go to bed 30m earlier or later than usual for whatever reason, you won't break the baby!
30m naps 3/4 times a day, with a 12 hr (ish) aim for overnight, 2 feeds at 3 months sounds normal - they'll start to lengthen naps here and there, then suddenly they're bigger and the time has flown and you know their routine (again, is can be flexed without ruining them!).
Anyhow hope that helps, all that comes from having very different babies and my own rigid then not-rigid approach because I didn't know what was best. They'll do what is best for them! Even if it means crying a fair bit about being tired (thanks DD) or just passing out whenever they feel slightly tired (odd DS).

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nicg85 · 02/02/2016 21:08

I have followed fate's advice and only allow my dd to be awake 60-80mins between naps. She's 14 weeks old and so far this is working brilliantly for us. If I stick to this routine through the day she sleeps really well through the night.
Sounds like your LO is getting overtired so don't wait for signs of tiredness before trying to get them to sleep. Stick to the 60-80 min rule! Even if they don't seem tired start to settle them ready for sleep once they have been awake for this time.

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SouthernComforter · 02/02/2016 23:16

Thanks for all your sage advice :-) We do the nursery run 3 times a week but I try to get DS1 dressed and breakfasted before disturbing DS2 (at about 7.45) otherwise I find ĺconflicting needs (DS1 always seems to need a poo when I'm feeding DS2... ). The 60-80 minutes is really useful (not always possible on DS1 non nursery days as he's just too loud, but he still has a good afternoon nap so aim to get them both sleeping then so I can eat biscuits and hang out infinite loads of washing).

Anyway, will keep a closer eye on DS2's tired cues and sort out a cot. Thanks as ever xx