Has anyone regretted co-sleeping?(24 Posts)
In the early, tiny baby phase I resisted sharing a bed with my baby, but he's now 8 months and has slept in our bed for almost a month now. Thanks to this we have all had some wonderful sleeps, but on the whole it's still a bit shit. But at least being in our bed I can cuddle him/quickly breastfeed him back to sleep without moving very far
or opening my eyes.
BUT at the back of my mind
and voiced by anyone who knows is the thought that we are making a Big Mistake.
I don't mind sharing a bed, it's plenty big enough, and I'm
very quite lazy so it suits atm, but I don't want him still in our bed at 10! Or even 3.
So, to get to the point, am I doomed to never sleep without being kicked in the back again? Has anyone regretted co-sleeping? Or should I do what works now and worry about it later??
Nope, when I was fed up with it we found another way. At the time it wS the only wY I kept my sanity and really I felt like telling everyone; it was none of their business.
In the end we moved them out and did Gradual Withdrawal, a week of disrupted evenings followed by a new sleep pattern, sleeping through almost every night. In some ways I miss the closeness of co sleeping and DH said the other day that if he had the money he would have a massive bed that we all slept in together, like we do when we are camping! Totally your choice.
I worried about it at the time. But my ds gradually spent longer and longer in his own bed as he got older. Now he only sleeps in our bed if poorly. He's two
No it will be fine, I've never co-slept full time with any of mine but ds4 did start coming in with us at about 6-7 months. I found it easier to stop bf to sleep that way as he became happy to just have a cuddle
I wonder the same sometimes and then I think I actually don't mind if DS is still in my bed at 10.
I started co-sleeping when DS grew too tall for the Snuzpod and started rolling over so it was no longer safe for him to be in there. We moved the huge cotbed in to our room and tied it to the bed with the side off but he then started teething and needed to comfort-latch to sleep so started sleeping curled up with me.
Now he will only sleep curled up with me (9 months old), but I am sure he will grow out of it. He is too tall to be in a cot unsupervised now anyway as he is very tall for his age and has just mastered climbing, so I plan to move a mattress on to his bedroom floor and sleep in there with him and gradually start moving back in to our bedroom.
DH has been in the spare room for 7 months as he is a heavy (irritating) sleeper and I don't want him squashing DS so I am only considering moving DS in to his room to try and keep some marital normality. Once he is able to get in and out of the bed on his own he is welcome to toddle back in for a cuddle. Until then we will be co-sleeping on a mattress on his floor. It will be fun, like camping. ;)
I do but I'm at a totally different stage to you DS is 4weeks old and we've co-slept for 2weeks. It's the only way he'll sleep (other than being held). We have a anus pod but he considers that too far away from me for him. Every time I wake up and he hasn't woken me I think I've smoothered him and have no idea how we are going to get him in to his own bed.
Lol at anus pod
Thanks everyone. All I get from family is how 'so and so co-slept and she was in with them til she was 8'. Good to know it's not always the case.
No I like sleep more than the what ifs people like to chuck at you.
My DS does still sleep with me at 8years old. But we like it, he will happily sleep in his own bed if I ask, but he'll soon be a grunting teen who won't admit to knowing me in public so I'm enjoying the cosleeping while I can!
Lolling at anus pod.
I've coslept with all mine to some degree. Youngest is teeny and I'm so glad to have started off like this as I'm getting lots of rest and recovering from his birth far better than if I was trying to get him to go down in the Moses basket on his own. Other dc are 6 & 4 and both sleep all night in their own beds and have done for a very long time so I don't worry about the eventual transition.
No. My ds is 8m and although we've always tried to get him into crib/cot until first wake, we've basically co-slept since the beginning.
However my dh has been mostly in the spare room all this time and now that baby ds is very mobile i'm worried about him falling out (we have a guard but it's not full length). Hence this weekend we are starting to put him back in his cot till morning and hopefully my husband can come back to my bed! He seems fine with it so far, but he'll still be welcome on occasion.
I think it can be a difficult habit to kick but totally doable if you want to, and fine if you want to carry on. I have no regrets whatsoever.
My ds is 7 months and cosleeps part time. I don't really feel as though I have a choice. Well I do, stay awake all night.
I really didn't like the idea of bed sharing before he was born, but lo and behold, I like it now.
Ds is 4 months and we sleep much better when I can just drag him down to the boob in the night and scoot him up again once done, rather than picking him out of the cot.
Often I catch him before he's fully awake, pop a boob in and he's fed and sleeping again within minutes. It's calmer, quieter and more restful all round.
I can't believe that anyone on the face of the Earth has regretted sleeping next to their baby.
I coslept with both of mine. I fretted about it a bit with my first because of the anti co sleeping messages, but realised that actually it suited us. I coslept with my second as soon as we were home from hospital.
Both grew out of it naturally and in their own time. They are 7 and 5 now and happily go to sleep in their own beds for the night. They will only bed hop if they don't feel well, have had a bad dream etc. They know they can come to me at any time they need.
I don't regret it at all. My only regret is that I worried about what others would think. I am actually totally pro cosleeping and think it is by far the best option for mum and baby, but for some reason that is the less spoken view.
Thanks for replies. I guess I'm worried that he will always be in our bed. Those of you who co-slept but whose children are now in their own beds, did this happen quite naturally or did you have to encourage it? DS has all his sleeps in our bed atm, and I feel like he should be having some in his cot.
It happened naturally. I'll admit it was at the age of around 6 but he is autistic and a few years behind. I cant sleep with him now.. Its amazing how much double bed a little body can take up.
I'm of the view that sleep is good, how it happens doesn't matter because they all get there.
My only moments of regret have come from what other people have said about "making a rod for our own back", I know this works for my family, and as time has gone on,
Dh and I have become more and more in agreement that the only small thing of comfort our little girl asks of us is a cuddle, and so that's what we will give her. I know one morning I will wake up and realise it's been a few weeks/a month since she last slept with us, and I know I will be sad on that day. Until she's ready, our family bed will always be there for her whenever she wants.
My nearly 3 year old is sprawled across my bed snoring away as I type this. We do have our moments where I think it would be nice to reclaim the space but I can always plonk him in his own bed if I need to. I don't worry about it, he won't still be in here at 15 I'm sure.
I put DS1 in for in the beginning and that was horrible as I never managed any real sleep in the first week even. I gave up on it and he started sleeping on my arms and we both were far more relaxed during the night. As a result, DS2 slept with me from day 1 and I was nowhere as wrecked due to sleeplessness this time around. They both are with me so far though DS1 has his own bed that is just attached to mine. He does it like cuddling anymore. Just kinda touches me sometimes during the night to check if I am there or not. I think I should be able to move him right now if I wanted. So I am not worried at all for coz peeping. It saved the life of me.
I co slept with my third DC from newborn until he was 8 months (I stopped breastfeeding then) once he slept through the night he went into a cot, in our room until he was just over a year then went into his own room. I didn't really have any issues with the transition period, he is now a happy, healthy 2 year old who sleeps 7-7 in his own room.
I co slept as, for me, I had three under 4 when he was born and I needed to save my sanity and be able to breast feed in the night quickly and get back to sleep so I was up and alert (ish) the next morning.
I had the world telling me I was making a rod for my own back and I would never get him in his own bed but I stuck to my gut. I know my situation is slightly different to yours but honestly go with what's best for you. Everyone always had an opinion no matter what you do x
Join the discussion
Please login first.