Sleeping bad even though self settling?

(5 Posts)
PregnantAndEngaged Sun 24-Jan-16 08:15:28

Hi all,

Here's the backstory; I used to cuddle my baby for all of his naps in the day and then cuddle and transfer at night, he did used to sleep for long stretches and we used to only put him down shortly before we ourselves were going to bed so he pretty much slept the whole time we were asleep as well before waking up. But then frequent night wakings started and we realised it was probably the transferring that was biting us in the bum.

Then on the 3rd of January onwards, DS at that stage was 7 months old, I started sleep training him to self-settle in his cot. It worked like a dream when it never had before! I put him in cot awake and walked out the door, and he went to sleep just like that. And on the first few nights we were putting him down at 7pm and me and my fiance would get the evening to ourselves and DS slept all the way through apart from one brief wake-up at 2am for a bottle. Was fantastic!

THEN and ever since he has decided to keep waking up after we've put him down in teh evening and throughout the night and is a bugger to self-settle in the evening.

Here's our routine:

8am wake-up and milk and breakfast
10am - 1 or 2 hour naps, he sometimes decides to do a 2 hour stretch
(11am play, if he's awake)
12pm lunch
12.30 - play
1/2pm (so after he has been awake 2 hours, depends what time he woke up) - second nap, 1 or 2 hours
3/4pm - Wake up + Bottle
Play
6pm - Wind-down (usually books or nursery rhymes on my lap)
6.30pm - Dinner
7pm - Bath
7.30pm - Night sleep

When I put him in his cot, he goes in sleeping bag, has a comfort blanket (although I don't genuinely think he finds it that comforting, but he does twiddle it if I give him that to hold) and a dummy.

Anything I am doing wrong?

minipie Sun 24-Jan-16 15:02:22

Can't see anything you're doing wrong.

Is he teething by any chance? Or has a cold?

FATEdestiny Sun 24-Jan-16 19:10:36

I also can see nothing wrong, looks all good to me.

My only point would be self reinsertion of dummy at 7 months old. Mine was around that age, but more like 8-9 months when able to sort her own dummy out when waking.

Being able to self settle with his dummy in the night does not just mean being able to put a dummy you give him into his mouth. It means being able to
- find the dummy
- turn it around and get it the right way around
- put it in his mouth

PregnantAndEngaged Mon 25-Jan-16 10:57:52

Thanks both of you. Yes he is definitely teething however he is really not concerned by it at all so far (but I know he is as I can see them growing and I'm pretty sure one has just cut through as it feels properly sharp when I put my finger on his gum).

I think it's more likely to be the dummy thing as he does sometimes wake because I think he just wants his dummy back e.g. this morning at 4am he cried and was fidgeting in cot, second I put dummy in he went straight back to sleep again until morning.

FATEdestiny, any suggestions on how to teach him to reinsert the dummy himself? Also, how would he find the dummy in the dark? Thanks

FATEdestiny Mon 25-Jan-16 12:35:54

any suggestions on how to teach him to reinsert the dummy himself? Also, how would he find the dummy in the dark?

It's partly developmental - when he has the fine motor skills to manipulate small objects.

When you give him the dummy, hand it to him in his hands rather than putting it in his mouth for him. Hand it over and have him take it from you and put it in his mouth himself. Start giving it him the wrong way around sometimes, like so that he grabs hold of the teat and has to turn it to get the teat in his mouth.

In terms of finding the dummy in the dark, what I have done with all four of my children isn't going to be something other parents would consider. I have ribbons sewn onto the chest of all of my sleeping bags, with a press stud sewn at the end.

Care has to be taken with the length of the ribbon, I mirror the length of those dummy saver clips you can get. But the clip is bulky so I sew on a ribbon instead, so there is no lump to lie on.

This means that from early-on baby knows the action required to find the dummy - a hand sweep across the chest finds the ribbon, which then finds the dummy. And the dummy is always there whenever needed, so never gets lost.

I have also found benefit in this because I keep our dummy permanently attached to the sleeping bag and this is the only place DD will find her dummy. So it stops any daytime use of the dummy and makes a very clear sleep association. The only time baby has access to the dummy is when wearing the sleeping bag in the cot.

However, lots of people worry about the risks in doing this, which is of course their prerogative. Some people go down the millions of dummies route - having dozens of dummies scattered around the cot.

Other people have used dummy-saver toys. I believe their is a rabbit toy you can buy that can have a dummy attached to each of the rabbits legs. Something big like this is easier to find in the night, so locating the dummy is easier. I suppose you could make something similar yourself. If baby currently has a comforter toy or blankie, sew a press-stud onto the current toy and attached dummy to that.

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