3.1 year old hellish sleep regression

(3 Posts)
MummyIsMagic79 Mon 28-Dec-15 21:52:09

Background: DS2 is 3.1, he shares a room with DS1, who is 9.6. DS2 on bottom bunk, DS1 on top. For the last 18 months or so, this has worked fine. DS2 goes up to bed about 45 mins before DS1 and is asleep well before DS1 goes up. All lights off, spare his light-up seahorse that he takes to bed. DS1 then climbs into his bunk and either watches his kindle with his headphones, or watches his tv on VERY quietly. This is for about 30 mins and then he has to turn it off and go to sleep. Then he occasionally reads a book by torchlight, but usually doesn't bother as he's tired. DD (7 in Jan) has her own room.
The last month or so however, DS2 has begun to refuse to go to bed/sleep. He just screams and gets out. Anger, tantrums, throwing his teddies about. Constant requests for more milk, literally one after another. He isn't dry at night so we don't allow constant drinks, just one milk while/just before, he is being tucked in. It takes DH or myself around 1.5 hours of rapid return to et him to drop off. It's so hard on DS1 too. He's having to go to bed in our room and then creep into his own bed when DS2 is finally asleep. It seems to hinge on whether or not he has slept in the day. He doesn't have a nap anymore, hasn't for months, but occasionally falls asleep for 30 mins or so, in the car, or if he's been at preschool/childminders, he will be exhausted and drop off at 4pm or even 5, no matter how hard we try to keep him up! Lethal.
Our other option is to let the other kids get to sleep properly and let DS2 stay downstairs with us, playing or watching Tv, until he's tired. But this can be 11.30pm! But I just feel awful when te others are kept awake on school nights due to rapid return.
Also, when he finally IS asleep, he wakes up at 1/2/3am and demands to get into our bed, and screams the place down if we say no. I'm a panic to keep the peace and not have the others woken up, we end up giving in. We are both shattered, have no evenings to ourselves, no sex life, and older kids who are exhausted too.
Has anyone got any advice? Our two older children never really did this.
TIA

StephC1987 Tue 29-Dec-15 15:09:40

Could the older kids not share a room and the your ds2 have his own room until this is sorted?

FATEdestiny Tue 29-Dec-15 15:30:16

My boys share and have bunkbeds. I have DS6 and DS10 - also DD11 and DD1 in their own rooms.

DS10 isn't allowed screens at bedtime. When he goes to bed, it is to go to sleep. So he stays downstairs with us until his bedtime. Occasionally if we are watching something he doesn't want to watch he will watch TV with his sister in her room. Younger two go to bed at 7.30, older two at 8.30.

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