4yo morning issues

[SallyStarbuck]

I posted this in potty training but I think it was the wrong place. We've got ourselves into a bit of a muddle of our own making and I'm not entirely sure how to fix it.

About a year ago DD started waking early, too early for her as she was tired. Got a gro clock and it worked perfectly. Then a few months ago she started waking earlier, at exactly the time I was the other side of the house in the shower, and would be hysterical by the time I heard her - she wouldn't leave her room to find me, which would have been fine, instead she'd just cry and cry. So we bought her a lamp, put a potty in her room and taught her that as long as there was only 1 star left on her clock she could get up and play in her room until the clock turned yellow.

Within a few weeks she started getting up the moment the clock got to 1 star, which again ended up being too early for her and she got increasingly knackered. So we used a sticker chart and went back to staying asleep until the clock was yellow (set the clock a bit earlier as well).

But then she started wetting the bed in the morning.

Now we appear to have got everyone confused. We have explained to her that of course she can get up and use the potty whenever she wants, but she kept wetting the bed. Then we tried to go back to being able to get up when there's 1 star on the clock, but again she's back to getting less sleep than she needs. Or coming out and waking us up.

I know it's a minor issue but the bed wetting 4 times a week means we've gone back to having pull ups at night - not the end of the world, but as she self trained at night it seems a shame to go back, and I don't think she likes it.

It's probably just mixed messages - though each change we've given several weeks to settle - but I don't entirely know which one to stick with or how to solve this. In theory, she's old enough to wake up and pee in the potty and play in her room for twenty minutes or so (surely a perk of them getting a bit older?!) but not getting enough sleep, when she won't nap anymore, isn't ideal.

Any suggestions gratefully received!

[Queendedede]

I never did the gro clock thing. My eldest wouldn't get out of bed until we went to get him and if he needed a wee he would shout and we would take him to the loo then back to bed if it wasn't time to get up. My youngest is 19mo so I have all that to come again!

How about telling her she can use the potty at any point in the night but needs to go back to bed again after unless the clock is yellow? Forget about the one star thing, it sounds like it's confusing the issue. Also, you could try taking her to the loo when you go to bed? That way she might be able to hang on until getting up time.

[SallyStarbuck]

I'm wary of getting her out to pee when I go to bed, just because she's such a decent sleeper (when asleep!) that I don't want to mess with it. I will remember it for later if we need it though.

We could move to saying she can't get out of bed until the clock's yellow, and then can't come out of the room until we get her, maybe. That might work.

I think it's the conditional bit that confuses her - please try and stay asleep but you can get out if you need to.

And I know we're the ones who have confused her!