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Miserable mam

5 replies

Beautifulbella · 18/11/2015 12:17

I have a 4.5 month dd, who I have co-slept with since she was a baby. (I know this is not recommended, but it is what I preferred and it works perfectly for us) lately dd sleeping pattern has been horrendous. It's now to the point where I mentally cannot cope in the morning and act as a zombie all day. She is in bed after a feed and bath at 8pm. then wakes at 10pm until her next feed at 12am. awake again from 3am till 4am (next feeding time)wakes for a new day at 5/6am.
I feel absololutely dreadful. Oh cannot help as he gets in from work around 7pm helps as much as he can, put has to leave for work again at 6am. So I feel I cannot ask him to help during night feeds cause it would be unfair. I'm now thinking about transitioning dd into her own cot, hoping this will help with sleeping. Has anyone been through this, did it help? Any advise would be amazing, I feel like I'm failing.

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Indantherene · 18/11/2015 16:28

If she's waking so often it sounds like she's hungry. At that age I didn't put DD to bed until 10pm; there doesn't seem to be much point in your putting her to bed at 8pm only for her to wake up 2 hours later.

I assume you are FF as you talk about feed times and making her wait until the "right" time. I've no experience of FF so don't know how you are supposed to do it but it sounds like you are expecting her to go for 4 hours between feeds and she can't/ doesn't want to. They do have a growth spurt at 4 months. Could you give her a bigger feed at 8pm?

If it were me in this situation I would feed her when she wakes and not make her wait until feed time. At least that way you'd get some sleep and she wouldn't be awake for an hour at a time.

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MissTwister · 18/11/2015 17:45

Why is it unfair to get your partner to help? You're not exactly lying around sleeping all day! You both need to share the burden - that's what we did when baby was up a lot

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FATEdestiny · 18/11/2015 21:13

When she wakes up, feed her straight away.

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Beautifulbella · 19/11/2015 01:28

That's the crazy thing, I have tried feeding her before she is due invade she is hungry, tried giving more ounces at night. But she generally doesn't want her feed at all, she just wants to play (smiling, giggling and kicking about)
I've spoken to oh about it but just feel as though I'm talking to a brick wall. I just get the same excuse everytime "I work all day everyday, I help as soon as I get in from work I just cannot help during nights) OH is generally an amazing dad, but were he only sees her for short periods of a time throughout the day, dd now thinks daddy time is playtime no matter what. So when he has tried to help at night in the past I end up being more miserable as it takes longer to get to sleep because she in hysterics where she's then wide awake

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spillyobeans · 19/11/2015 01:29

Have a look at thec4 month sleep regression thread x

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