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5am wake ups. Nearly 12m old.

18 replies

MrsAukerman · 09/11/2015 09:17

I'll be as brief as possible.
Bf ds in own room. Can fall asleep in cot but easier on the single bed in his room.
Goes to bed reasonably well most nights.
Wakes 2-4 times a night and is night-weaned so either dh or I can go in and either shush him in cot or rock in rocking chair or lie with him on the bed. Inevitably we often fall asleep on the bed too so he's co-sleeping after 1 or 2am at the latest. This means when he wakes at 5 one of us is with him. Whereas at 2 or 3am we'd be able to just shush him back to sleep at 5 he's having none of it. We aim to not bring him out of his room or bf him til 6.
The hour of failing to shush him back to sleep is soul destroying and usually disturbs the other parent meaning all 3 of us have been up since 5. (Small house)
Could he be hungry? Can you go back a step on night weaning? Would a bf or some cows milk be better?
I am down to morning and night bfs and he has a small drink of cows milk before each nap and also after dinner before bath.
Any ideas?

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FusionChefGeoff · 09/11/2015 09:22

I'm afraid I'm just able to give you sympathy rather than advice as my DD is the same! I'm also stuck thinking I don't want to get up and about at 5am as then she'll think it's ok but as you so tightly put it - trying and failing to get her back to sleep is soul destroying and I'd much rather actually be up and catching up on Strictly at least.

I don't know what to do!! So hope some wise people come along soon to help us.

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FusionChefGeoff · 09/11/2015 09:24

Sorry just read it again - in your shoes is maybe try milk - up to you if you want to make it bf or bottle but it could be hunger if dinner is early?

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MrsAukerman · 09/11/2015 09:31

Ah. Good idea. Could do dinner later. Thanks. I'd rather that than go "backwards".

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Artistic · 09/11/2015 09:42

I have a 13 month old and I get your situation. Hourly wake up sessions are terrible! After every possible remedy tried I've found that co- sleeping from the first wake up is the only thing keeping us sane. Regarding 5am wake up, is your DS still having 2 naps in the day? If so then cutting down the morning nap to 20 minutes could help. We are not doing any feeds from 7am to 7pm since my DD was 8 months old.

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MrsAukerman · 09/11/2015 09:51

Yeah still 2 naps. To be fair sometimes he only does 20 mins in the morning but other times 45-90 mins. I think I'm going to try a snack after afternoon nap then a later dinner and see if that helps. This morning I could tell he was trying to get back to sleep but just couldn't so I don't think it's that he needs less daytime sleep.

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mrsplum2015 · 09/11/2015 13:53

Sorry I have nothing but sympathy. My DS woke at 5am every morning until he was 3 (and understood a groclock).

When my DD2 started the same trick age 9-10 months I panicked, cried a lot and sought help from a sleep consultant. There was very little they could suggest but luckily she grew out of it quickly.

Good luck - hopefully just a phase :) But knowing what I know now I wouldn't bother with any shusshing - I would just do whatever makes sure the other parent gets sleep and take it in turns.

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lighthouse17 · 09/11/2015 15:06

hiya, my DD was the worst sleeper, she woke up at 5am till she was 18months and she also went through a phase of waking up at 3am staying up till 6am! anyway touch wood she has been a lot better, still wakes up around 5-5.30am makes a noise but goes back to sleep. I honestly know how you are feeling, it drove me crazy the 5am wake ups. I tried everything! sleep trainer, wake to sleep method, leaving her to cry, not leaving her, blah blah, I think she just outgrew it but I still remember the pain and I am not getting used it as it can come back, I can't even believe I am writing this as I don't want to jinx it. I used to hate it as I felt like the only mum with a baby that wakes up at 5am wide away. Everyone around me used to say how their babies would sleep till 7am!!!! I really thought there was something wrong with her. oh writing this reminds me the pain I went through. I rather be up at night 10times than wake up at 5am with a cranky baby (wide away!)

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lighthouse17 · 09/11/2015 15:09

sorry forgot to add she is 2 now but when she is teething still wakes up all hours. She went through a phase of waking up in the middle of the night as I mentioned. I really don't think there is anything you can do to make her/him sleep, sorry for that but I would say ride it out and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Also someone with 4 kids gave me one advice, he said don't look at the clock, just get up and get on with it and it will pass. At the time I thought he was barking mad but now I understand

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Binglesplodge · 09/11/2015 17:48

My breastfed DS is just over 12 months and was waking at 5ish for 3 or 4 weeks. It was horrible although I shouldn't complain as he was sleeping right through until that point so my sleep was less disturbed than yours. He was obviously still tired: crying when he woke, and I spent a week or two, like you, trying to keep him in the dark upstairs without "rewarding" him with a feed until 6 so that he wouldn't get into the habit of feeding that early. It really didn't make any difference and, as you're finding, it resulted in an hour or so in the dark with a tired, grumpy baby.

One day he woke at 4:30. I fed him and put him back into bed and he went back to sleep until 8. The next day, when he woke at about 5, I fed him and he went back to sleep until 7:30. After a couple of mornings, he stopped waking for that feed and is now back to waking for the day happy and chatting at 6:30.

I'm not saying it'll definitely work for you, but why not try feeding at the early wake up and see if you can buy another hour or two of sleep and reinforce that it's not morning?

Good luck!

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omama · 09/11/2015 22:33

Hey MrsA Wink. Yaaawn I remember this with my ds at this age.

What time does he usually have his morning nap? In my horrifically vast experience of early waking I found if the morning nap is too early it will encourage early waking.

This time I've been careful not to let dd go down too early, she usually sleeps around 10am at the mo & touch wood we've not really had any early waking yet. (Contrast this with ds who would get up anywhere between 3.30-4.30am & nap at around 7.30/8am Shock).

All that said, it is incredibly common at this age as they start to get ready for the transition to 1 nap.

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FATEdestiny · 09/11/2015 22:49

We needed to reintroduce a night feed for DD between 11-12 months old (she's now 13.5mo). She suddenly reduced the amount of milk she had in the daytime, this was the cause.

It was temporary as we worked on creative ways to encourage her to have some milk to drink during the day and at bedtime. So I say feed her when she wakes.

As for morning nap - My DD religiously has a 9.00am to 10.30am nap (and a 1pm to 3pm nap). No signs whatsoever of her wanting or needing to move this morning nap later. She wakes about 6.30-7.00am so I disagree that an early morning nap is a cause of early morning wake ups.

If anything, with multiple night wakings and also short daytime naps, I wonder of over-tiredness is a factor here and the answer would be more sleep, not trying to keep baby awake.

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loveisagirlnameddaisy · 09/11/2015 23:00

Daytime naps can really start to affect early waking at this age and onwards. Both mine benefitted from the first nap being slowly shortened. You might think he doesn't need his daytime sleep cutting and he might not overall, but try and weight the sleep more in favour of the lunchtime nap than the early morning nap.

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MrsAukerman · 10/11/2015 06:49

OK so 0535 today so I tried feeding him to see if he'd go back down and he didn't but it's still better. I did his dinner at 1700 instead of 1630 so today I'm going to do his dinner at 1730 to see if that elicits a 0600 wake up.

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MrsAukerman · 11/11/2015 06:25

I forgot to give a snack yesterday afternoon so felt bad delaying dinner til 1730 so he had it at just after 1700.
Woke for day at 0545 so edging back towards a respectable hour.

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MrsAukerman · 12/11/2015 07:35

Tea at 1700 at childminders then a small snack at home (mainly rejected) at 1815. Up for the day at 0600.
Food definitely seems to be the answer!

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MrsAukerman · 13/11/2015 08:07

Urgh. 0515 today. He had dinner at childminders and then most of a banana when he got home but still seemed starving this morning. Ah well you can't win them all!

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MrsAukerman · 14/11/2015 07:30

0545 but only one wake up!
Dinner was at 1700 and substantial.
I'd say things are improving.

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VocationalGoat · 14/11/2015 07:44

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