14 month baby.....still no sleep

[UnexpectedSingleMum]

Anuone else had a long-term sleep dodger? What age did they start having decent stretches?
My ds is 14 months & we rarely get any more than one 3 hour stretch a night and that's usually 7-10. I have a 3 year old dd too who just gets shoved in front of DVDs after nursery as I'm beyond exhausted.
I've given up looking for solutions because I can't take the hope/disappointment of another one not working so I wanted when your little ones passed the worst? And what you did to cope with the long term sleep deprivation?
TIA

[UnexpectedSingleMum]

*anyone

[PotteringAlong]

Yes! My 14 month old is the same; his 3 year old brother was the same until about 2.5 and then miraculously started sleeping! The way I reckon is that I've got until next summer and then I should sleep

[Lucidlady]

I have a 13 month old who is similar. I think unfortunately there is nothing you can really do to make him sleep - yes there are techniques like controlled crying that you can use but it's been proven that these have no long term impact. I am trying to cling onto the fact that DD was an appalling sleeper too, and suddenly started sleeping through at about 18 months, so hopefully her brother will follow suit. We've ended up bed sharing in an attempt to maximise the sleep we do get. Hugs to you. This truly sucks.

I'm not sure at what point you need to have medical investigations into the root cause of sleep issues but hopefully someone else will know.

[Slugonthewindow]

Oh goodness, massive sympathy. I honestly don't think there is any "coping" with sleep deprivation - it's just surviving as best you can. It's horrendous. People forget how awful it truly is.

I think if you have a sleep dodger - that's it. It's just the way they are. But we have to try, right?? I'm doing second round of sleep training and it has made a difference. They can sleep little buggers but we have to stick to our guns or do whatever it takes to get rest.

What have you tried? How do you currently get through the night?

[eltsihT]

Mine started sleeping better at 21 months. I also have an older child, I sent him to nursery in the afternoons as it meant I could nap when ds2 did.

He would sleep well till about midnight. Then would wake, I tried for months to settle him in his own bed, eventually I gave up and started to co sleep with him in the spare bed, at 21 months we moved him into a single bed, and I woul lie with him till he fell asleep. If I was still awake I would head back to my bed.

Now at 29 months he now sleeps 7-5 which is pretty good

[UnexpectedSingleMum]

Thanks Ladies.
It seems it is frighteningly 'normal' isn't it (sadly)?? Bit of a shock to my system as my dd was terrible for the first 6 months but then slept through (5.30am riser until she turned 3) and I thought that was bad, foolish foolish Mummy.
I think light at the end of the tunnel does help but PotteringAlong thats quite an impressive cumulative stretch you'll have had by next summer including your first! You must be super hardcore :-)
Lucidlady I hope (pray) your ds follows his sisters footsteps, and that my ds follows them too (double pray)
Slugonthewindow its weird isn't it how we cope? Do you remember pre-children when you had a rubbish nights sleep how terrible you used to feel when in reality YOU WERE NOT TIRED! We get through the night with quick cuddles, re-issuing his blankie and putting the mobile back on and he goes back off (usually). Getting him back to sleep isn't usually the issue, he can self settle mostly, its getting him to stay asleep for much longer than a sleep cycle or two if that makes sense?
eltsihT - needs must - anyone who judges you for any decision made regarding your children's sleep hasn't dealt with the harsh reality of it. Sadly my little man isn't interested in co-sleeping. We do room share but he's in his cot although I want to move him into his own room when we move house soon, but the fear of being up & down and in & out all night terrifies me.
Thank god for the best present my ex husband ever gave me - my nespresso machine.....

[tinymeteor]

to you, long term sleep deprivation is the WORST. So so so tough. Our DD was a rubbish sleeper until well past her first birthday. Totally horrific between 7-11 months, then only (!) a couple of night wakings 12-16 months, but she's now 18months and actually, properly, sleeping through. We did what we could on routines, sleep associations etc, but honestly I think she's just done it in her own time. You'll get there too. In the meantime, don't feel bad about the DVDs, you just have to survive the zombie days.

[PotteringAlong]

I'm not super hard core - I'm dying on my backside and addicted to diet coke!

[PennyHasNoSurname]

How is hos daytime sleep.and what do you do through the night to get hom back to sleep?

[basilflower]

14 months in here and still waking every couple of hours through the night. It's hard isn't it. I'm just hoping it'll get better one day/soon!

[MingZillas]

15 month old sleep dodger here too

Just got into bed for a nap myself while she's down. Much sympathy to everyone.

I left my bank card in the chip and pin machine for the SECOND time at the weekend as I'm so knackered!

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

My 23 month old has never slept through, she typically wakes at around 12 and 3 (sometimes wakes for 2-3 hours at a time). I also have an EBF 13 week old. I feel your pain.

[Slugonthewindow]

I've noticed you around grotbags and my heart goes out to you. It's because we have an eldest the same age and I'm sure we've spoken about long awake stretches before, it is hell...on...earth.

Yes OP, it is frighteningly common, but none of the other mummies in real life in my circles ever talk about it! It's like I'm the only one. honesty on MN has kept me sane at times! I know it's no consolation but at least settling seems straight forward and with pretty good sleep associations, at least baby isn't insisting on being bf or rocked or anything so you're in a position of strength (does it seem like that to you? ) Maybe the trip to their own room will make a difference too? One friend did this and her baby started to sleep through. Good, right? not jealous at all

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

Ah thank you Slug, I'm at that stage of tiredness where kind words from a stranger on the internet brings a tear to my eye!

[Pinkpowderpuff]

I'm another zombie Mum...... 18mo still wakes 1 - 3 times a night and also sometimes for an hour or two (although not as often as it used to be) I also have a 6yr old who was pretty bad but not for this long! I survived the first time so can survive again is my mantra...... I can survive this..... Right?!

[UnexpectedSingleMum]

Thank you for your words ladies and jeeeeez it's so common dare I say 'normal'. Sympathy / empathy right back at you - there's actually nothing worse. He woke every 20-60 minutes from 10 last night with one 1.5 hour stretch. I hope / pray it ends soon. (I have fantasies about just leaving the house and going to my car to sleep in silence.)
Day time he has 2 hour long naps. Sometimes a longer lunch nap but he's a pretty good napper.
Another thing I haven't mentioned which most definitely contributes is he's stil bf. He's milk allergic / bottle refuser. But he only feeds twice between 7 & 5 and isn't waking to feed the other times.
Loving the phrase 'zombie mum'. It's quite apt in both my physical and mental state.
Hope you ladies managed some / any kip.
Another day is upon us of amusing the small people who tortured us last night

[Slugonthewindow]

Yeah, DS woke at 1am and showed no sign of settling (even with me humming and rubbing his tummy) by 2am so from 2am-6am he shuffled around on my windpipe and face. Why does he need to grab hold of my chin to sleep, why?

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

We actually didn't have too bad a night by our standards, baby slept a 5 hour stretch and toddler only up once! We'll have a horrific one tonight to make up for it...

[ftmsoon]

DD is 17months and still wakes 1-3 x a night. We switched her milk to water when she wakes and that has made no difference. Then the odd night she sleeps for 11-12 hours, I wake up several times panicking!!! Those odd nights are getting more frequent though. Roughly once a week now so fingers crossed!

[Pinkpowderpuff]

Oh Vocational you have just summed up everything I want to say! (Although I only have one older one). Vague pulse...... Loving it!

[Greenstone]

11.5 months here and not a hint of a sleep through ever. It briefly improved around 9 months with just 2 quick feeds and back down. Awful again now, awake for hours at a time at night. DH actually commented that she is worse than a newborn now.

I am amazed by her persistence actually. If she is 99% asleep in the cot with me patting her bum, the 1% of her that's still awake will struggle free to complain and wake herself up fully. We've a sleep consultant booked. Even if it's not a magic solution any improvement will make such a difference to our lives.

The single other committed sleep dodger I know of in RL finally gave up the battle and started sleeping through at 20 months. In the grand scheme of things it could be worse. Every other baby I know appears to sleep.

Massive for you all.

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

The single other committed sleep dodger I know of in RL finally gave up the battle and started sleeping through at 20 months

Oh if only mine had given up at 20 months!

[TheOriginalWinkly]

This time last year, when DD was 3 months old, there were 3 nights in a row when she slept for around 7 hours in her cot before waking. I'm glad I didn't know at the time that she wouldn't come anywhere near to repeating that. In fact when the 4 month sleep regression hit, she stopped sleeping in a cot completely and would only sleep in physical contact with me for a long time.

[WorldsBiggestGrotbag]

TheOriginal we had the same. At 11 weeks DD slept from 11-6 3 nights in a row. Over 20 months later it hasn't happened again!