My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Sleep

4 year old still doesn't sleep through the night most of the time.

8 replies

TheCunkOfPhilomena · 12/10/2015 22:08

I really don't know what to do with DS(4). He's never been a good sleeper and stopped napping in the day at around a year old. He goes to bed at 6:30pm and is asleep by 7-7:15pm (after bedtime stories), there's no issues with that. He starts waking most nights about 10pm (I've just heard him call me, that is weird!) and will wake about 3 times in the night and then be up at any time between 4:30-5:00am.

I have tried putting him to bed later but it has no effect, he still gets up at the same time and still wakes in the night.

He started reception a month ago and I was hoping this would help but it hasn't. He does occasionally surprise me by sleeping through for a couple of nights every few weeks, each time I think thank god, at last!, but it doesn't last.

He cries and shouts when he wakes up in the night, he wants me to sleep with him but I haven't shared a bed with him for about 6 months now (I can't sleep in the same bed with him, he talks, wakes up, moves around a lot in his sleep), maybe he still misses it, I'm not sure.

He is very active and has lots of physical activities every day, nothing seems to wear him out. I seriously don't know where he gets his energy from.

I keep telling myself that he just doesn't need much sleep but that doesn't help me at 3am when I'm telling him to get back to bed whilst he shouts at me.

Any ideas?

OP posts:
Report
TheCunkOfPhilomena · 13/10/2015 09:33

Hopeful bump.

OP posts:
Report
MumOfTheMoment · 13/10/2015 09:41

My dd was/is like this and she is 7 next month. I was an anxious sleeper as a child and for that reason I found it hard to do anything other than respond to her when she needed me as I clearly remember feelings of abandonment myself at night Sad

The only thing that ensured a good nights sleep for us both was co-sleeping.

She has very recently responded to rewards for sleeping through ie small treat after 5 nights. This would never have worked when she was younger though.

Flowers sorry no actual advice there but lots of sympathy for you!

Report
TheCunkOfPhilomena · 13/10/2015 09:50

Thank you for replying MumOfTheMoment and I'm so sorry you have the same problem, 7 years of it too !

I wish I could co-sleep but he is just such a terrible sleeper that it wouldn't really help.

I might start putting him to bed later again and see if it works.

Thanks and Brew for you!

OP posts:
Report
notfromstepford · 15/10/2015 12:51

Hi TheCunk

Reading your thread sounds just the same as my DS who is 3.9.
I don't have a solution and I think a lot of the time my DS is disturbed by night terrors as he's thrashing and shouting, sitting up with eyes open and doesn't really realise I'm there. Other times, he says he doesn't want to be on his own.

Occasionally he'll sleep through from 7pm to 7am and I think thank god it's passed, but after a couple of nights, back to the same waking through the night and then up at between 4.30 and 5.30am.

I have another one on the way now and I'm exhausted. So my solution is sleeping in the spare room which has a double bed with him. When he wakes in the night after the 2 time, I just pick him up and put him in bed with me. We have enough room and although he can be a wriggler, most of the time he settles well and we both get some decent sleep (2 hours unbroken sleep is a result in our house!)

I've had people telling me I'm making a rod for my own back but quite honestly I don't give a shit what they think - we both benefit from better sleep and it's not going to be forever - I hope!

So Flowers Cake and a Brew for you - and just wanted to let you know you are not alone Smile

Report
SeldomAthleticFC · 15/10/2015 13:06

It's so hard and exhausting. My DS only started sleeping through the night in the last year and he's now nearly 6. Like your DS, he'd go to sleep with no trouble at all but wake at least once every night and want to get into bed with me. I'd tried reward charts and a variety of additions to the bedtime routine (e.g. meditation CDs) but all to no avail.
Whether it was coincidence or not, I have no idea, but he had started saying he was scared of the dark so one night I left the bathroom light on (we'd previously had all the lights out). He slept through that night and I've left the bathroom light on ever since. He now only disturbs me a couple of nights a month, which I can cope with.
Good luck. He WILL grow out of it. I hope your next one is a better sleeper.

Report
SeldomAthleticFC · 15/10/2015 13:10

I'm not sure where I got the idea you were expecting another.. I am, maybe it's baby brain.

Report
notfromstepford · 15/10/2015 13:26

Seldom - I am expecting another one, so you probably got it from my post. Congrats on your pregnancy Smile

Glad you've got yours sorted eventually - there is light at the end of the tunnel and it's not just a straw that I'm blindly grasping at - hurrah!

Report
TheCunkOfPhilomena · 16/10/2015 19:15

Thank you. He has had a really bad week this week and I am getting to the stage where I am considering taking him to the doctor's to get him checked out. Do you think this is appropriate?

I spoke to his teacher this morning who was very sympathetic but said that he's doing very well at school and doesn't seem tired. How can he not be tired? Last night, for example, he went to sleep at 8pm (I'm trying a later bedtime this week), was up at 10:45pm-ish and then didn't go back to sleep (was getting up every 2-15 mins) until gone 3am and then was up for the day at 5am. He was like it the night before at his dad's house and Monday night was just hideous. I know he can't help waking up (he says it's his 'other' brain that won't let him sleep; he does ask a lot of questions when he wakes up) but is there a physiological cause?

OP posts:
Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.