FTM of course. Looking for a sanity check/advice.
DS is 10 weeks and all things considered sleeps well at night. But it's all over the place. 2 nights ago he fell asleep at 8.30-1.30 then again until 5.40 then again till 8ish. Last night was similar except he woke at 9 and 10 briefly. 3 nights ago he didn't fall asleep until 2am. But that's unusual. Other nights he sleeps at 10pm for 3 hour stints or 5 hours or anything in between. He's a crap daytime sleeper though.
Every day I question my approach and try something different. As he's often overtired due to bad napping, I want to get him to bed early but can often end up spending the whole evening scuttering about. We tend to bath then dress him, then I lie down in bed and feed him and he usually falls asleep, either immediately or after 2 or 3 or 4 attempts. I then dither about whether to put him straight in his basket or just leaving him in bed until I'm ready to sleep. And then I dither about if/when to wake for a bedtime feed.
Morning is then very unplanned too, dependant on when he wakes, and then it all depends how well he naps the rest of the day.
One day we try bathing early, the next we try later. One day we try just keeping him downstairs while we eat dinner. The next we try to get him to sleep first.
Basically the whole thing is me going "err what do I do now" and frankly not very enjoyable. I feel like we should maybe instigate at least some form of routine but don't know where to start. I'd also like to start moving away from the rigmarole of having my PJs on by 7pm so I can lie down to feed him. I don't know how best to approach this. Last night he was full before he was asleep, so we ended up amusing him for 20 minutes until he was super exhausted, then a last feed tipped him into sleep.
He's EBF. Quite small though, only 10lbs, so not yet ready for longer sleeps.
I just feel a bit disorganised and chaotic and not sure it's helping him. I don't know what to deal with first eg time of going to sleep, or the lying down feed, or the in bed vs Moses basket. He's in the Moses basket overnight though and normally fine.
Sorry for confused thread. Just trying to get some thoughts down. I feel like there's a book everyone else must have that I didn't get given. 
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DS is 10 weeks, what now?
MuddyWellyNelly · 07/10/2015 15:54
I started a very strict bedtime routine at 8 weeks-ish because I couldn't deal with the chaos we were living! At 7pm we gave him a bath, a wee massage if he tolerated it, got him dressed and gave him his milk (he had expressed bottles back then) and into bed whether awake or asleep, with his mobile going a couple of times until he fell asleep. He never came downstairs after his bath (we didn't break that rule until a month or so ago when he had an awful cold and had to sleep sitting up in his pram 
). He knew exactly what was going on and what to expect next after a little while, and it helped me feel more in control of the situation because I knew what to do next.
We've just changed his bedtime routine at 9mo to make it earlier and more age-appropriate (milk before bath and teeth-brushing, a story, etc), but he's still a crap daytime sleeper. I have been promised by various friends that when they get moving they will naturally want to nap more.
Do you find it easier to feed lying down, or do you find it sends him to sleep more easily? I wonder if you might be better off feeding him sitting in a chair and then transferring him from your arms into his basket/cot when he's asleep. You can then sneak away without worrying about whether you'll disturb him by getting up and moving him.
On phone so will try to reply. Thanks first for helpful replies!
Mint sometimes the pram or sling works and sometimes it doesn't. However I'm learning I need to A catch him sooner and B persevere a bit. For example went out for a walk the other day and he was chilled but awake. Started crying at a far away point but did drop off eventually. Today got an unheard of 2 hour nap in sling but probably as I got him in there quickly. Think will try car next!
Last night was our best fall asleep yet, first attempt at 8, straight into Moses basket till midnight. Cue me fist pumping followed by 2 hours of not settling and me eventually chucking DH to spare room so DS could stay in the bed. He does have a rubbish cold though which I think is worst at night. But technically I could have snuck away last night I just decided to go to sleep instead 
I got into a habit at about 3/4 months of taking DS to bed with me at about 2pm and feeding him to sleep for an hour or so. Partly so I could have a snooze myself, partly because I found BFing so much easier lying down, but also because he was so hysterical by that point it was the only way to calm him down. Trouble is, he now expects milk and a sleep whenever he comes into our room and sits on the bed 
Try to make a start on a bedtime routine but the rest of the time, just do what you need to do to get through the day!
Yes every day is a new challenge! Last night was pretty good. Napped at 8, fed and changed and down by 10. Slept till 2.30 and for the first time in ages went down first time after a change and feed on both boobs. Woke up at 7.30 and is now on second nap. It's all going to go horribly wrong soon isn't it? 
As an aside, I shoved on my cosy fleecy dressing gown this morning and fed him whilst wearing it. He's now having a mammoth sleep in my arms snuggled into it. Obviously he couldn't sleep on anything like this unattended but I might see what I can do for daytime naps. I know people who swear by lambskin rugs.
Although it's more likely your warmth, smell and heart beat he's loving than your dressing gown 
Oh I don't know. Normally he falls asleep for 5 minutes then decides bony arms aren't that comfortable. . Also as it's been quite mild since he's been born I often am in short sleeves and his head and my arms get sweatily stuck together. Poor guy.
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