The time has come...

[pocketsized]

Please be gentle.

My DD is 6.5mo, and a terrible sleeper. She is now bottle fed, and beginning solids. She wakes ever 1.5 - 2 hours, every night. She's not hungry,just awake, and currently needs me (she will rarely settle for DH) to rock her and put her down asleep. It's not good for her, it's not good for me (starting to feel dangerous driving....) and it needs to stop.

I need to sleep train. Please recommend me methods/books/websites that explain to me in detail how to do this. I know the vague premise of it all, but I need step by step instructions.

[nephrofox]

I have no advice, only to say I'm in the same boat. At the end of my tether but don't know what to do about it. My first child slept through the night at 2 months old. This one wakes at midnight and rarely settles for long after that point

[pocketsized]

It's awful isn't it. I keep reading that it's important to be consistent but I can't work out exactly what I'm supposed to do.it's provably just exhaustion that's making me so confused but I need to DO something.

[fredandme123]

On a simplistic level all you need to do is set some rules as to what your going to do/not do ie: only goes down awake, no feeds before 6am, don't pick baby up in the night and stick to it. Realistically your not going to get from where you are now to where you want to be quickly without some tears so you need to prepare yourself for that or if you choose a very soft method it will be gradual and take a few weeks/months. I haven't read any sleep books so can't reccomend any. I have used a bit of gradual retreat and rapid return but only what I have learn't from the sleep boards!! How about working on baby falling asleep in the cot with all the help you can give and then after that is cracked work on doing it without your help?
Hope you get a good nights sleep soon. Can your husband take a couple of night shifts so you can recharge. You said that she doesn't settle well for him but maybe the two of them just need to suck it up for a couple of nights so you are refreshed. He is her daddy after all not a complete stranger.
Good luck

[ReluctantCamper]

I found this book useful good sleep guide . The PP who says you have to decide what you want is right, then you can work towards it. As a guide, I wanted my baby to go to bed at 7pm and not get up until after 6 am. Best of luck.

[pocketsized]

Daddy does do some night shifts, but she cries and cries and that wakes me up and stresses me out. I feel like if we're going to have tears they might as well be constructive ones. If I put her down awake (and sing, shhh, stroke, pat) she just gets angrier and angrier and screams and screams, I just don't understand how we're supposed to get from that to sleep...

[pocketsized]

Her Daddy (not mine, obviously)

[channingswife]

It's so hard and such a personal journey!
I have two boys, 2.5 and 1. We have used controlled crying with both of them. Ds2 liked to be rocked to sleep or he would fall asleep while having his milk and we'd put him down. Both boys were quite good sleepers but did need help.
We would go in to dc2 if he was crying and shhhh him, no talking, no picking him up, we'd lie him down, shhh him then leave. We'd wait outside the door and if he cried again we'd go back after a minute max and repeat. Gradually leaving him for longer periods of time. First night took about half an hour, second night 10 minutes, 3rd night he went to sleep.

I'm not saying it will be that easy for you, every child is different. It also gets easier when they can hold their bottle, dc2 would go to bed with his milk, drink it and go off to sleep himself.

It takes work, but it's worth it. You need to do something if you're so tired you're worried about driving.

Perhaps start with small steps, I know it's hard, but you both need sleep!

[HisBowtieIsReallyACamera]

My DS1 was like this (although bf not bottle, so fed to sleep rather than rocked). What we did was make sure we had a set bedtime routine (bath, story, bf, bed) and introduced a comforter (blanket with silky edges that I slept with inside my pj top so it smelt of me). Then we did CC but quickly found that going back in to comfort him was just making him even more furious. So tried CIO and it only took a couple of nights before it worked and we could just put him down and he'd just sing/chat for a few minutes then sleep. He also went straight from waking every two hours/hour/40 minutes to just one wake to feed. Not long after I night weaned him and he started to sleep through. He's now nearly 3 and has recently decided he is scared of the dark, however he always shouts for daddy now...

[pocketsized]

Thanks all. I known need to do something, there are just so many options,and so many opinions it's hard to know where to start.

What I want out of it is to be able to put her to bed around 7pm, and havecher wake for the day around 6am, with just one wake up for a feed in-between.at the moment we have anywhere between 5 and 8 wake ups in that time, every night, and have done since she was born.

[FATEdestiny]

Have you tried a dummy? Babies naturally like to suck and find it comforting.

I would also try removing one side off your full sized cot (most are flat packed so easy to remove a side using an alan key) and butt it up to your bed.

This kind of side-car cot allows you to settle baby by just leaning over from your own bed, but without needing to pick baby up. You can even cuddle right into the cot if needed (and keep putting the dummy back in) to sooth and comfort baby all the time with baby lying in the cot, rather than picking up and rocking.

[pocketsized]

Hi Fate,
Yes, she has a dummy, although I think that might be part of the problem as she gets annoyed if she wakes up and it's missing.

The sidecar cot might help actually, I find leaning over the cot to settle her very uncomfortable, so that might help.

[FATEdestiny]

She'll soon be able to put her own dummy back in, so will be a non-problem within a few months. Definitely worth it in the long term IMO - dummies are fantastic. In the mean-time you can get dummy saver toys to help find dummy at night. I saw a ribbon onto my sleeping bags and attach the dummy to that, so baby always knows where to find it.

Sidecar cots are great.