I am being ridiculous I know but.....

[NutBiscuit]

....DS is 2.4 and has never been put to bed by his dad. In fact, he's been put to bed by me every night of his life except maybe 5 or 6, which my mum has done.

He's very very much a mummy's boy and very clingy to me, doesn't like going out with DH if I'm not there etc etc which we should have dealt with a long time ago, I know.

So, tonight I am going out and am leaving DH to put DS to bed for the first time and I am dreading it.

Please can someone give me a kick up the bum and tell me this needs to happen, and that even if DS screams himself silly he won't be permanently damaged by the experience???

[JonSnowKnowsNowt]

I think it will be fine because you're not there. If you were there but in another room not taking part, then he'd scream for you and cry. But if you've gone out, then it'll be absolutely fine. My DSs were pretty clingy when they were younger (up to about 4ish) but were fine if I was not in the house, then they just accepted it. It also works well if you don't try and make DH stick to your way of doing things - it's better if he has his own bedtime routine for DS that they do together that's not the same as the way you do it.

[thatsshallot]

^^ absolutely I think it's important for DH and DS to develop their own bedtime routine, and it's great that you won't be there so they can just get on with it.

I am sure it won't be the same as 'your' bedtime but equally am sure he'll be fine

[NutBiscuit]

Yes yes, it definitely would not work if I was there. I will confess that I have no real reason to go out tonight - I am only doing it in order to see what happens, and so that I might feel comfortable leaving DS in the future if I really HAD to go out, IYSWIM?

I also have to confess that I have to sit with DS to get him to sleep - I'm hoping that doesn't make it less likely that he will be ok with DH doing it? We've had real success in the past week with him going to bed and straight to sleep after weeks of him messing around until gone 9 o'clock, thanks to a Bob the Builder sticker chart, so I really hope tonight doesn't mess that up too!

[lexyloub]

Yes he'll be fine your dh will just have to deal with it and comfort him the best he can as jonsnow said it'll be easier because your not there rather than in another room. Get some evenings out planned

[uppereastsidemom]

I have been here! And have had pointless evenings sitting in the dingy local Starbucks waiting for DH to text to say that she was asleep before creeping in the front door! But it is better for everyone if you can leave DS with DH and know for sure that they will both be okay at bedtime

[Changedup]

How did it go op? Well I hope.

[BathshebaDarkstone]

I haven't done this yet with DS, he's DH's first and the deal before he was born was I do all the childcare and he does all the housework. I'd have to explain how to work Pull Ups and everything. I may wait until he's potty trained at night.

[NutBiscuit]

It went really well! Thanks for asking. Apparently DS asked for me a couple of times but didn't get upset or distressed at all. Didn't get to sleep as early as usual but that's no problem.

upper glad to hear someone else has done this! I just wanted the first time it happened to be under no pressure, ie, I didn't absolutely have to be somewhere. As you say, so nice to know it can be done by DH. Will make it a regular thing now!

[RolyPolierThanThou]

Well done. Definitely make this a regular thing now. Better for everyone.

I had the same with ds2 but when I came down with a week long illness that had me bed ridden and unable to spend time with my children (very contagious with terrible fevers) DH was forced to take over bedtimes, which ds2 never tolerated. He only ever wanted me.

After that week . He was fine about whoever put him to bed. It broke that need and freed me up of an evening or meant I could read stories to my other ds.

Recently it's tended to be me putting ds2 to bed again and the 'I only want mummy' thing is creeping back. So keep up letting dh do it.