Need help with 8mo sleep!

[TheWeeBabySeamus]

Could really do with some advice/ tips on how to settle 8mo DS.

DS was an awful sleeper until 4 months old when, out of the blue, he just started sleeping through the night. I put him in his cot still awake at 7:30 and he would go to sleep within 15 mins and then sleep until 5:30 in the morning. Great! Except then after about 6 weeks he started crying if I left him still awake, so I started sitting with him, singing, stroking his head etc until he fell asleep ( usually about 30 mins).

This carried on for a week and then it all fell apart ... He started refusing to even go in his cot and would scream if I even stood near it while holding him so I started lying with him on my bed until he drifted off and then putting him in his cot, it was taking over an hour at this point but still manageable and I didn't mind too much ( quite enjoyed the snuggles ) but then after a few weeks of that DS decided to change the rules again!

I'm now in a situation where he will not be put in his cot, on my bed, in his travel cot basically anywhere that he associates with sleep. He screams bloody murder if we even go upstairs at bedtime, I mean really hysterical and doesn't calm down until I bring him downstairs. But he won't sleep downstairs either! I try cuddling and rocking him to sleep, putting him in travel cot but he just screams and screams - he is only happy once I put him down and let him crawl around and play with his toys! He usually crashes out anytime between 11pm and 1am - but still wakes up at 5/6 in the morning!

I'm exhausted and a mess! I'm a single parent and DS is a very demanding baby so the only time I get to eat, bathe or clean my house is once he's asleep at night. So after weeks of this I am struggling ( people tell me to nap when he does in the day but because of him not sleeping at night it's the only time I have to shower or do housework ) and DS is getting crankier in the day because he's overtired!

Tried doing CC but lasted for 30 mins - he was really hysterical and I had to stop as he started smacking his head off the cot in frustration.

I'm really hoping someone has some suggestions/thoughts on why he's started doing this. Our routine hasn't changed at all and I don't know what to try next. FWIW once he goes off he's down for the night - it's just trying to get him to sleep on the first place.

[TheWeeBabySeamus]

Bumping in the hope that someone has a miracle cure before bedtime

[FATEdestiny]

How recently did you try CC? I ask because if my daughter is ever left to cry in her cot for even a short time, she becomes far more clingy in over the following few days.

It is like a trust issue with my DD. She needs to know and trust that she is safe and secure in my presence as she goes to sleep, and that I will not sneak off.

If I put her down to sleep in her cot (with dummy) and stand at the doorway (I take a book and read) until she is fully asleep - then the whole process from putting in cot awake to me going downstairs takes about 10 minutes.

If, however, I try and sneak off before she is a sleep (I sometimes try to go and kiss my 5 year old goodnight) then she starts crying. She then doesn't trust me to stay so instead of going to sleep she keeps lifting her head to make sure I am still there. This lengthens the whole process to more like 30 minutes.

If I am putting my (four) children to bed on my own when DH is working late, then I might have no option but to need to leave baby to it for a few minutes while I am sorting out bedtime with another child. If ever she is left to cry alone in her room, even if just for a few minutes, then I know that not only will it take her a lot longer to sleep because she keeps checking I am still there, but also that I won't get away with standing at the doorway.

Such perceived abandonment, which I would assume is similar to CC, means she needs additional reassurance, time and patience from me to sleep. So she will need me next to her cot, with a reassuring hand on her chest/back patting so she knows I am there. Then a slow and gradual withdrawal from the room after probably 40-60 minutes before she feeds safe and secure enough in my presence to sleep.


The moral of my story would be - rather than trying sleep training methods to extract yourself from your baby's sleep and reduce her reliance on you, increasing your presence and reassurance in the short term can actually result in better sleep and settling in the long term.

[Wibblewobble100]

Gosh, that sounds really tough. We really struggled with sleep at this age too, although DS went to sleep easily initally, but woke frequently through the night from about 10 pm onwards and was difficult to settle then. I'm afraid I don't have a magic answer, but I want to say it does get better. For us it was round about 10 months, when 2 thing happened almost simultaneously- first he started crawling, and I dropped the dream feed I was doing at 10.30ish. I hadn't really intended to drop the dream feed - I though if he couldn't make it from 11-6 i' d have no chance without a dream feed, but in the end I was so sleep deprived I left him with my mum for a couple of nights, and she didn't feed him at 11 and he slept better, so we continued that pattern. I tried CC but it didn't really work for us although he wasn't worse for iteither. it was just that he was able to self settle when put down at the start of the night, but not subsequently. I suppose what I'm saying in a really long winded way is do you still feed during the night, and have you considered night weaning, as I think that's what worked for us, albeit a couple of months later.

[TheWeeBabySeamus]

Thanks for the replies.

DS has been night weaned since he was about 20 weeks and once he falls to sleep he stays asleep... he's just refusing to even go near the bedroom at night and any attempt to put him in cot or my bed is met with crying and escape attempts.

He is mobile and very very active - he doesn't stay still for a second so in theory should be exhausted by bedtime but he fights his sleep and then is upset and irritable because he's tired.

The only thing that's working at the minute is pushing him around the living room in his pram until hes asleep and then moving him to his cot. I know I can't do this long term though