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Sleep

What if he simply never falls asleep..?

4 replies

flipflopsonfifthavenue · 24/05/2015 17:31

DS2 is 6.5mo and only naps in the sling or on me after bfing to sleep. He's not getting enough daytime sleep (I'm ashamed to admit how little) and it's just not working for us anymore so I need to get him to nap in his cot and having decent naps.

My plan is to start with daytime naps and maybe bedtime but not sure yet on bedtime. Going to feed, put down awake in cot and sit by his cot and stay by his cot until he's asleep. I'll pat/ssshhhh/comfort through the cot if he gets very distressed but aim is essentially to ignore him until he goes to sleep. Gradually I'll sit further and further away from the cot.

A fairly standard method I think. And fairly gentle. I did it with DS1 when he was 14mo and worked well.

However - DS2 is a different beast. I'm Worried that he will simply. not. go. to. sleep.

This is a child who has been known to cry for 45mins in the car or buggy and still NOT DROP OFF!!!! He fights sleep like his life depended on it.

So do I literally sit there for 4hrs if I have to...? Or have a time limit and if it doesn't work, do something else, and try again later on?

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Liveinthepresent · 24/05/2015 17:54

Hello I am no expert - I used a sleep consultant to help me as I couldn't see how I could fix my DS sleep by myself.
We did similar to you but he was about 13 months.
I was advised to start with bedtime - simply I think because this is the time when they are just most tired.
I got daytime sleep in any way I could - gradually reduced association with milk as sleep prop in bedtime routine and then sat there like you are planning to.
Gentle touch to reassure but tried not to pick him up. Night one I felt like you but it took about 40 mins and I was amazed ! I think the lady I used said it had occasionally taken over an hour but 40 mins was pretty much bang on what she told me to expect.
Actually one of the best things about her was get reassuring me he would do it !
Good luck it's hard but so worth it!
Cot for day naps was easy once he was self settling at bedtime.
Oh and I personally think if you have made the decision you just have to sit there as long as it takes !

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flipflopsonfifthavenue · 24/05/2015 18:08

That's reassuring. Am a little worried about him being so young. I can't imagine him ever being able to make himself comfy. He just lies on his back like a turtle on his back if I leave him to grumble a bit now, he doesn't roll over of suck his thumb or do anything to comfort himself. I guess that's the whole point though, you leave him to work it out by himself rather than get him to sleep on his behalf...

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Liveinthepresent · 24/05/2015 19:51

It's hard though to know when the best time is. My DD had been such a good sleeper that I kept thinking DS would suddenly get the hang of it - whereas really when I look back I feel like I spent months reinforcing his reliance on motion or milk to get to sleep.
With hindsight I would have started sooner. Though I know easier said than done.
Once we bit the bullet I was amazed how quickly he got the hang of it - and now he gets himself to sleep so easily, better than DD. good luck.

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addictedtosugar · 24/05/2015 20:01

DS1 never slept enough. He still doesn't now aged 6. Happily making a Lego aeroplane now, having been up since 5. Yawn.
We did whatever it took. Sling, strategically timed walks in the pushchair or car. And figured a change was as good as a rest. We did decide to try for DS2 so I could go back on maternity leave, as work and a child who slept 7-1 and then 3-5 wasn't really comparable with working ft,........

Good luck, which ever route you take.

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