Ds has always been a bad sleeper however from around 8 months he's been good at going to bed (around 7)
From about 18 months he was sleeping through around 5 nights in 7. This was when he moved to his own room.
But the last couple of months it's been awful and he won't go to bed. When I leave the room he smashes his head against the cot (hard enough to leave a bump). I won't leave him to cry but don't pick him up. Just soothe in the cot but most the time he's happy just not wanting to sleep even when he's so tired.
Nothing seems to make any difference. (Naps etc). He's had some of his best nights with no maps and with long ones.
He's very vocal and able to tell me when he's hungry , thirsty, hot or cold but it's never any of these things when we have an awful night.
I thought this was just a phase but it's been 2 months! He will occasionally have a bf but not much now.
17 months - been in your room from birth, good at going to bed 18 months - moved to own room (is this right?) 19 months - problems going to bed started (2 months ago?) 21 months - now
So just from the time line there, the problems seem to be directly related to being in his own room. So techniques relating to feeling more secure in his room may help. Try playing in there more in the daytime. Does he have daytime naps in his room? How is he going to sleep then?
Maybe try a nightlight and/or leaving the door open.
Timeline bad until around 17 months. Went into own room and drastically improved.
Then around 20 months got really bad and now at 21 months also struggling going to sleep which was fine from about 8 months.
We tend towards attachment parenting (not keen on the label but have lots of time together etc don't leave to cry and is very secure). Loves his room and happy playing in there. Even when he wont sleep he's not crying just yelling for me! Cries when wakes up though.
Have read no cry and was fairly useful. May dig it out again as was a while ago.
Bedtime routine is snack (banana, yoghurt) then bath, story, pjs then bed and a story thing (it's a book I've read every night since tiny so more of a rhyme than story) then lights out and ewen the sheep on playing harp.
Nothing has changed in routine and he was sleeping throug mostly for a couple of months
He's not hungry when he wakes. Sometimes asks for water. He never asks for milk now (bf).
I suspect nightmares but not sure as it's most nights.
Watching with interest as exactly the same thing has been happening here. DS is 15 months. Up until a month ago we'd put him into cot at 7 and he'd roll over and go to sleep. Then one night he started crying as I left and I heard this loud thump - he was banging his head against the cot so hard that he had a bruise the next day. He did the same the next few nights when I tried to leave. Like you I can't bring myself to let him hurt himself, so now I just stay with him. It takes a while for him to drop off but at least he isn't bashing his head! And it seems to be getting better now - he is taking less and less time to go to sleep. Still don't know what's causing it, though the molars theory seems to be holding out here as he sprouted three last week and it's since they broke through that things have been improving.