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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Sleep

2.5 yo driving me mad at bedtime

17 replies

slightlyconfused85 · 12/05/2015 19:01

Dd used to go to bed at 6.50, talk to herself for 10 or 15 minutes then go off to sleep. Lucky I know. Over the last month or so she has become very naughty, jumping out as soon as possible to knock on her door, making up a million reasons why she needs someone to go in, pulling off her socks, anything really except settling herself down for bed. She's not upset and she doesn't want anyone to stay, she's just being really annoying! After the 10th time or so of going in last night to order her back to bedos this with my sternest voice I ended up shouting which isn't productive I know. She doesn't nap in the day and does plenty to tire her out so she is ready.

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slightlyconfused85 · 12/05/2015 19:02

Sorry pressed send too soon. I've tried ignoring this but she gets hysterical after about 10 minutes. Some nights she's not getting to sleep till after 8pm then is ratty in the morning as she does need 11-12 hours to manage all day without a nap. Normal phase?!

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FATEdestiny · 13/05/2015 13:20

I think that around this age the emotional development happens that means children first learn the capacity to be scared of things. So for example around 2.5-3 a child might become scared of the dark, frightened of monsters under the bed, see scary shadows - these sorts of things.

So one of the things you could do is talk to you DD about how secure she's feeling in her room. It's a tricky conversation to pitch at the right level because you don't want to create insecurities where there were none or give her any suggestions or ideas. But if reassurance will help her, it might solve things.

Something much have changed given that she was sleeping well until very recently. So if it is nothing physical that you can think of then emotional development might be a good shout. The things she calls you in for are basically just excuses for you to come in and provide some reassurance to her.

You say she knocks on her door which suggests it is closed? What about letting her keep her door open when she goes to bed and could you hang around upstairs for half an hour after she goes to bed, just to be a presence for her?

nottheOP · 13/05/2015 14:47

Right there with you, OP. We've had a bit of success with rapid return but he's still being trying.

Rapid return is the one that Dr Tanya Byron and Supernanny do. So bedtime routine as usual then once the lights are off there's no more eye contact or talking, just back to bed and back out of their room until they stay in bed. DS was put back constantly for an hour on the first night but it was only 10 minutes the second and now he often doesn't get up at all.

It isn't the nicest process but better than a nightly 90 minute fight.

slightlyconfused85 · 13/05/2015 17:46

Thanks for your thoughts everyone. Her door is shut because she actually sleeps downstairs so she can hear us going about our evening. Will try and leave it ajar though it could work.

How does rapid return work? Do you say anything to them or just put them back without talking?

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HeyMicky · 13/05/2015 18:01

We did rapid return with DD (2.8), too. No chat, just walk them back to bed, pull the duvet up. I give a quick kiss on the cheek as well but no talking or lingering. On the odd occasion she gets up now we I my need to take her back the once

HeyMicky · 13/05/2015 18:01

*we only

slightlyconfused85 · 15/05/2015 19:27

I'm not getting anywhere much.dd is not scared of anything- she just likes jumping out of bed, knocking on her door and when I get to the door she jumps back into bed. She thumps around laughing and talking to her teddies and makes no attempt to sleep. Really is making me cross - she is up around 6.30am and has no nap so she must be tired

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poocatcherchampion · 15/05/2015 19:30

We generally ignore antics like that. If they come out their room they get a proper bollocking. Has only happened twice I think. Otherwise we leave them to it and the eventually get bored.

slightlyconfused85 · 15/05/2015 19:59

Poocatcher that's my next plan. I know she's just doing it to be a pain and then I end up shouting at her and feeling bad about it. I will ignore it from now on if it has worked for you- note to self don't get angry!

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rainbowtoddle · 15/05/2015 21:09

How about trying to stay with her? We always just snuggle down with our 2.5yo after we read stories. Sometimes she will sit up and play and chat to herself but she knows we are just there to offer cuddles and mummy milk when she is ready to sleep. We make this sleepy time together really special so DD loves to get ready for sleepytime. Is there a reason you have to leave her to it by herself?

slightlyconfused85 · 15/05/2015 21:14

Thanks rainbow but she's always gone to sleep by herself with a bit of singing and chatting. If someone is in the room she just gets overexcited. To be honest once we've spent all day together in ready for a bit of time to myself and with husband after her bedtime. Also expecting another baby in July so don't want to create a new habit that's hard to break.

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slightlyconfused85 · 15/05/2015 21:15

Thanks rainbow but she's always gone to sleep by herself with a bit of singing and chatting. If someone is in the room she just gets overexcited. To be honest once we've spent all day together in ready for a bit of time to myself and with husband after her bedtime. Also expecting another baby in July so don't want to create a new habit that's hard to break.

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rainbowtoddle · 15/05/2015 21:17

Makes sense - all the little people are different in their sleepy habits! I know it's hard not to get worked up when things are not going to plan - hope you manage to find a good solution

slightlyconfused85 · 15/05/2015 21:19

They are- I expect it's one of her many phases which will pass

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casper11 · 15/05/2015 21:31

Hi. I think it's definitely a phase. My DD has turned 3 this week. She was always a great sleep. 7-7. Put her in and she would go to sleep after chatting to herself for a while. But since the new year has had every virus going. This has disrupted her sleep pattern. But after a few months. She got into this habit of taking up to 2hrs a night to go to sleep. Then waking up in the night for up to 2-3hrs. It was exhausting. We tried the rapid return for over a month. But it never improved. We have had some success with gradual retreat. It now only takes her 10 mins to go to sleep. And we are nearly at the door. No wake ups in the night for the last few weeks. So I am hoping we are winning. Lol. I really hope your child settles back into her routine soon. We tried night lights as she was scared of the dark. X

Discopanda · 17/05/2015 11:25

I've gone through a lot of these phases with DD1 (now 3). What worked with us was making sure she did something physically active before dinner, talking about her day, what we're doing tomorrow, etc during her bedtime routine and if she still didn't stay in bed then sitting outside her room putting her back into bed when she got out

slightlyconfused85 · 18/05/2015 08:21

I went for rapid return last night, no getting cross and no discussion or attempt at reasoning, just tucked her back in and left. Had to do it about 10 times but eventually she gave up, sang a few rounds of wheels on the bus and was asleep by 7.30. Thanks for l the advice I shall keep this up until she hopefully stops bothering in the first place..

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