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3 yr old will not fall asleep by himself, help needed!

5 replies

appleandplum · 04/05/2015 21:44

My 3.5 ds just will not fall asleep by himself, he has always been bad at self settling as was bf and tended to fall asleep feeding and then with a bottle. The reason for this initially was he has twin sisters 2 yrs older and an older brother (7) so it was easier to get hime to sleep and then deal with the others(esp as when born eldest not even 4). Then he got a bit better but has got progressively worse since being in a bed (6 months sgo). I feel like he will never go to sleep by himself!
We tend to stay in the room with him until he falls asleep which works quite well for dh or grandparents but if i do that he messes about, gets up starts laughing etc, even if i just sit there without speaking. So then i end up saying if he doesn't stay in bed i will shut the door, switch light off until he will stay in his bed but this can take along time (tonight over 1.5 hrs).
My dh doesnt get home until after 730pm so this doesnt really work in the week as i have the other 3 to put to bed so i end up in and out of bedrooms settling everyone!
I've tried lots of things, we can't put a stairgate on his door as he would just climb over it now, i tried rapid return but again with 3 other children to put to bed it became impossible, he is always better for someone else (which makes me feel even worse).
Any ideas of what we can do would be gratefully received.
Thanks

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DoItTooJulia · 04/05/2015 21:49

Will he go to sleep to a cd of a book, or music? At least if he settles down to it perhaps whilst you settle the others and then you can go back and sit with him while he drops off. Eventually, he might learn to fall asleep to the cd?

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appleandplum · 06/05/2015 12:45

Thanks, I will try a cd book when i can sort one out, he stayed in bed last night reading a book but then got up and i still had to sit with him! But maybe the story on cd would work.

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DoItTooJulia · 06/05/2015 20:19

Bumping for you in case anyone else has a good idea!

Also have you ever considered (bit lentil weaving so get that it may not be to your taste) guided meditations for kids? Christianne Kerr does amazing ones, and it could be useful for all of the kids to settle down at bedtime to. We have them on cd and I think on an app somewhere. Her voice is soothing and they're not boring at all, in fact they're very engaging! Worth a look?

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Chocolateteabag · 07/05/2015 07:00

My parents had my 3 younger siblings in one room when they were 2 4 & 7 and one story (or more) was read to all of them. It did mean my sister (2) went to bed at the same time roughly as her brothers but worked I guess. Could you try reading to all of them in DS's room?

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appleandplum · 10/05/2015 08:28

Thank you for your suggestions. I have tried reading all a story on 3 yr olds bed but he always seems to have gone past tired and won't sit and listen keeps getting up and down and then is not the calming activity it's intended to be.
I like the idea of the guuided meditation, i'll try anything if it calms the whole bedtime process, as at the moment it can be anything but!