Co-Sleeping....Still

[Jollsjolly]

Hey!
I would really appreciate some feedback here!
I have a beautiful 16 month old son, hes perfect in every way! Just not sleeping, ever since he was newborn he has been in bed with me and my partner, never had any issues with him sleeping with us, made me sleep better, and my son! As he has got older, he takes up more room in the bed!and tbh me and my partner need our bed back. He is the boss of the house (it feels like!) he goes to bed when he wants, he will not sleep unless hes asleep in my arms or at least next to us, even when I put him in the travel cot - its a very rare occurrence that he will stay in there still. I'm still a young mum(23!) I'm trying to study at home and i feel i just dont get time to myself! I blame myself for not doing it earlier , i just feel awful.
I know about controlled crying a little, but hes so much older than a young baby now, he knows what he wants. Everytime i attempt to put him in his room in his cot, he just screams and screams.
please any help here. Just don't know what to do!

[FATEdestiny]

Interesting reading between the lines of your post. On the one hand you very briefly mention that you and your partner would like your bed back. On the other hand you seem to quite like co-sleeping with your son.

So my first suggestion would be for you and you DP to explore your thoughts on the co-sleeping issue. What are your reasons for wanting him in his own room and how resolute are you about this happening.

Maybe you might realise that actually, co-sleeping is nice and you don't want to stop.

But maybe the desire to have your son sleeping in his own room is strong. There is no magic wand here, it will upset and distress your son to not sleep with you, given that is all he has ever known. So nothing will make this easy on him or on you.

It is definitely doable and there are lots of sleep training methods (not just controlled crying) like shush pat, gradual withdrawal, pick up put down, and many others. But unless all of these will cause distress and will only work if you are consistent. So you need to be committed to working through this if you intend to start sleep training him to sleep in his own room.

[redcaryellowcar]

Pp suggests gradual withdrawal, do you think that could be an option starting with you sleeping on the floor in his room? I think I'd start by spending lots of happy time playing calm games and reading books with him in his bedroom, so he knows it's a happy place, I'd get him ready for bed in there, brushing teeth putting on pyjamas etc, then I'd tell him that he is going to sleep in his big boy bedroom and that you will be there too.
I think you then have to stay there, for three to five nights, I think you could then start moving your mattress/ air bed out of the room, firstly so you are still partially visible then just within earshot, I'm not sure if this will work but certainly kinder than controlled crying for a little person who has only ever slept with his big people. You could try reading no cry toddler sleep solution?