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7 week old too attached?!

9 replies

AliMaryLiv · 21/04/2015 21:10

Hi there

I'm new to Mums Net - this is my first post! I'm a first time mum and seeking some advice/experience about my little boy who is 7 weeks old. In his first 2-3 weeks he had no problems about sleeping in his cot or pram, now he just cries if he is in either for even a few minutes.

We thought he had a reflux problem which was making him uncomfortable to lie on his back in either the cot or pram so resorted to using a sling to carry him to help with the reflux. I'm still not entirely sure if it is/was reflux as GP not being particularly helpful but in the meantime I cut out dairy and he is no longer being sick on a daily basis and seems to be more comfortable after feeds. We are also using Infacol before feeds and he has had two sessions of osteopathy.

We have tried to put LO down in the cot (a co-sleeping cot which attaches to our bed and is currently elevated to help with the reflux) or even to take him out in the pram to get him to nod off (which used to work very well) but he just cries and cries and his quality and duration of sleep got so bad last week (averaging 8 hours in a 24 hour period) that we resorted to using the sling (stretchy wrap type) to get him to sleep both day and night. Right now its the only way we can ensure he gets some decent sleep otherwise he just gets cranky, overtired and then we get in a vicious cycle of him having very poor sleep. This means that either me or my husband are constantly carrying him (when he is not feeding or having his nappy changed!). My husband and I take it in turns for him to sleep on our tummies in bed (loosely attached on with a stretchy wrap so that he doesn't slide off) and sort of half sleep/doze with one eye open while the other sleeps. We have a bouncy chair which I try to use in the day and he lasts about 15 minutes in that before the crying starts.

Has anyone else experienced this in the beginning and if so how did you cope? Did your LO eventually get used to the cot/pram as he developed/grew older or did you have to "teach" them? I don't want to leave the baby to cry it out, especially not at this young age. I realise he wants comfort and love and its really early days in his life, but at the same time all this constant carrying in the sling is getting exhausting! As LO was ok(ish) in the cot and pram in the beginning I wonder if we have inadvertently helped him get over attached by over use of the sling!! Is there a way I could gently reintroduce the cot and pram? I was thinking of trying a little every day and building up the minutes. At the same time I am concerned that he does not end up with really poor sleep again!

Apologies for the lengthy post. Any advice or your own experiences of similar would be much appreciated.

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Cooper11111 · 21/04/2015 21:31

Hi, i experienced this with both my babies. At 7 weeks they are out of the dozy newborn stage where they are simply recovering from delivery. He knows who you both are and it's the right time fit him to show a preference, just do what you need to do to survive at the moment- sounds like you are! Gradually things will get better- 12 weeks or so he will prob become a little more independent. Try not to worry at the moment, free yourself and go with it. The worry is worse than what is going on. Once he gets to twelve weeks or so there are little things you can do that will turn it around! Xx

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FATEdestiny · 21/04/2015 21:37

Hi there, welcome to Mumsnet Smile

Firstly posseting (bringing up a little milk) is perfectly normal for most babies and need not be a huge worry. However if it is projectile vomiting that is a different matter.

Poor sleep can sometimes be caused by CMPA (Cows Milk Protein Allergy) and so an exclusion diet for a month as a trial may be worth doing. Remember lots of unexpected foods contain dairy. But equally don't pin all hopes on this. It might be 'the answer' and it might not.

I find that most sleep issues at this age generally come down to feeding. If not feeding, overtired.

Feeding first. Being unsettled when sleeping can often be helped by more feeding, more frequently (day and night) and larger amounts (ie keeping baby awake to take more milk in a feed). If you are not precious about breastfeeding try a bottle of formula at bedtime.

Also consider the baby's natural desire to suck - try a dummy for this.

Over tried next. 8 hours in 24 hours is nowhere near enough. Baby shouldn't be awake more than 60 minutes before you are trying to get him to sleep again - daytime and nighttime. Mostly at this age babies just eat and sleep and eat and sleep and that's it, so don't over stimulate.

Another thing that may help - have you tried a swaddle?

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PterodactylTeaParty · 22/04/2015 07:25

Yes, mine was like that. Lived in our arms for the first 4/5 months or so. I'd read all the advice about putting babies down for naps and just think "?????" because that was so alien to me. It wasn't reflux, she just really really wanted to be held.

We had some success at night with a combination of swaddling, warming the sheets beforehand with a hot water bottle, and waiting until she hit the floppy-arm stage of tiredness before trying to get her in the cot. What worked best for her, though, was co-sleeping with physical contact - she had to be cuddled in to me or have her head resting on my arm.

During the day she mostly lived in the sling. We gave up on the pram entirely because she just screamed, limited car trips as much as we could. I didn't cosleep for naps but wish I had.

We put her in the forward-facing buggy seat at 5 months and she liked it much better than the pram carrycot. Once she could sit by herself and play with toys, she started being happier to sit next to us rather than on us, and when she learnt to crawl she just zoomed off on her own. She is now 13 months - we still cosleep, but when she's awake she is very independent and very confident, and such a happy baby.

I found it very tough in the early days, when it seemed like everyone else had babies that would nap in cots or go in prams or fall asleep in bouncy seats. It got easier when I accepted that she just wasn't that kind of baby, and it wasn't because I was doing anything wrong - it was just who she was.

Google 'high needs baby' to see other people's experiences and reassure you it's not just you.

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Madratlady · 22/04/2015 07:50

A tiny baby can't be too attached, he will become happier to be put down as he gets bigger but they are programmed to want to be close to their mother at this age. My dswould sleep in his Moses basket/cot if we put him down fast asleep at that age but definitely wouldn't be left awake in a bouncy chair or anything. From about 4 months he went to bed awake and settled to sleep. We never bothered with a pram, he will happily go in a pushchair but I still sling him on my back when we go out and he's 16months.

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laurajaneP · 22/04/2015 08:52

I wouldn't worry at all! My DD is four and a half months now and in the earlier days going to sleep was in our arms or not at all!! Just enjoy it, I keep telling myself she won't want cuddles from me forever so I get them in as much as I can!!

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ChampagneAndCrisps · 22/04/2015 09:03

My youngest wanted held all the time too. He's my fourth - so although it was a pain in practical terms - I also knew how fast it all passes.

I also reasoned that if he wanted held so much, then that was the right thing fo him, and that it would help him be more secure and confident in the longer term - which was true.

My DD never wanted held and cuddled - I used to cuddle her on purpose just to try and teach her it was nice.

(I have teenagers just now - overgrown, messy toddlers. Interesting as people, but not very cute).

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Crazybaby1 · 24/04/2015 08:23

Totally agree with cooper and teaparty! My dd is the same, only napped on me started getting better sleeping if I walked her in her pram at around 3 months, but even now at 19 weeks, she only naps on me, won't just stay asleep in pram if it stops moving, crys at EVERYTHING! She's getting better tho...has learnt to sleep in her cot at nite, wakes up four/five times per nite tho, and I end up bringing her in my room as it's the only way she'll eventually go back to sleep for an extra hour!! Lol. Hard work. Agree with high needs baby, Google it. Mine deffo fits the bill!! It's super difficult, but just little things each week get better...I think as they get bigger and take more of an interest in things, they'll get better. No quick fix....but I just take one look at dd when she smiles and it's all worth it. As everyone says....it won't last forever!! They're only young once!! Try and enjoy her napping on you while it lasts. Get ur jobs done in her awake time...mine will sit in her bouncy chair in short stretches whilst I do stuff if I take her with me!! Won't go in the sling tho, wish she would!!! Feel like I'm tied to the house a lot!! Keep ur chin up, this will soon be a distant memory!!! Wink

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Crazybaby1 · 24/04/2015 08:31

I found having my breakfast with her sat on the table in her bouncy chair directly infront of me helped get her used to been in it for longer stretches! Kept poking her dummy in and stretching it out little by little!! She will spend 30-40 Heaven sent minutes in there now!!! Precious indeed!!! But I take her everywhere with me or she cries and ends up in a state!! .....the joys of parenthood, I should have stuck to dogs!!! Lol Wink

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JiltedJohnsJulie · 26/04/2015 00:18

Neither of mine were keen on being put down, I just had to go with the flow. Have you tried putting him in bed by the side of you? Have you got the guidelines on safe co-sleeping?

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