Feeling sad baby is moving to own room

(12 Posts)
DueDecember14 Mon 20-Apr-15 10:28:11

Okay now I know this might sound silly but I'm just going to be honest about how I feel. My dd is 19 weeks and getting far too big for the Graco lounger she has been sleeping in at night (at the side of my bed). She really needs to go into her cotbed in her own room but here's what's been putting me off. Firstly she still has one feed in the night although I suspect it's habit rather than need as she is 16lb!! Secondly I always rock/sing/walk her to sleep n I've had it in my head that she can't/won't fall asleep without my help. So this morning I thought okay be tough and put her into her cot for her nap (she normally just naps on the couch) and see how she gets on. I put her down tired but not asleep and it took her about 45mins to actually go to sleep (she was having a good look about but it's new surroundings for her). She cried for about 5/10 mins but just s whimpery I'm tired cry and she fell asleep.
Now am I completely mad that I just feel like crying because my baby doesn't need me anymore?? I know we need to get a good nights sleep ourselves and that she will probably sleep better in her own room minus my DH snoring but I just feel it's a big transition and the fact she's fell asleep relatively easily had made me sad even though I'd be tearing my hair out if she had cried and cried.
I must be going crazy I think and DH doesn't get it he just wants her in her own room so he can get a better sleep. Feel like throwing him out n she can take his place! Lol grin

FATEdestiny Mon 20-Apr-15 10:43:32

Stealth boast?

SIDs and NHS recommendations recommend baby stays in the same room as you until 6 months. But many, many people move baby out sooner. Good luck, hope it goes well.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom Mon 20-Apr-15 10:45:16

You are aware of the SIDS guidance on staying with you to six months? (You are, of course, entitled not to follow them. But it should be a conscious decision not to IYSWIM, so just checking).

If you don't feel ready to move her, don't! Surely there are options to get a cot into your room, even if it means booting out some other furniture and/or climbing into bed from the foot?

If you want to move her, I can understand feeling sad. It's the end of an era. DS was 11 months when we moved him and I still felt sad. smile

Galvanized Mon 20-Apr-15 10:49:23

We kept our baby in our room until 11 months. Why not, we all slept better! We used a travel cot which fitted better than a proper cot.

I'd also adhere to the 6 month guidance. For all sleeps.

Annarose2014 Mon 20-Apr-15 10:53:55

Why don't you keep her? We bought the cot from Mothercare which is smaller than normal (the Apsley or something?) as we had no room either. It fits beside my side - just!

We also have a cotbed waiting in another room - we are just nowhere near ready to move him out at 5.5 months.

DueDecember14 Mon 20-Apr-15 11:18:14

Thanks for the response. I do want to move her as I'm due to start back at work very soon so I think making the transition in the next couple of weeks would be beneficial plus she is s good weight now so I feel she is capable of this.

FATEdestiny this is not a 'stealth boast' I actually am on here because I feel I have no one to talk to and I was looking for some helpful thoughts or anyone with a shared experience. I have really mixed emotions on it and hope I'd find someone who understood. You clearly don't.

I am aware of the NHS guidelines however I feel she doesn't sleep as well in beside us due to DH relentless snoring as she is easily woken by noise. We could squeeze a small crib in but I just felt if we are making s transition it might be easier to do the full switch especially when 6 months really isn't that far away.

I know it's the right thing to do guess it's just mixed emotions about things moving on/starting back at work etc.

Freshoutofideas83 Mon 20-Apr-15 18:14:39

I moved my baby to her own room last night (6 months yesterday), it's a wrench and whilst she slept reasonably well, I didn't (so used to her being next to me!)

I'd do whatever you feel is best - I know people who've done it at a variety of different ages. I kept her with us until 6 months though just to follow guidelines.

Anyway. Just wanted to say - I know how you feel!

Brandysnapper Mon 20-Apr-15 18:17:43

Get your dh to sleep in the other room and keep your baby in with you.

poocatcherchampion Mon 20-Apr-15 19:39:04

It broke my heart doing this bit.

Only with dd1 mind smile

Cuteasa Mon 20-Apr-15 20:56:39

It's not silly to feel sad about your baby becoming more independent. Every little stage my 6mo DS passes makes me feel a little wistful. Although I'm also proud he's growing up.

We're currently in the process of moving DS into his own room (I put him there for his naps for the first time today, but he's back in my bed tonight). And I'm sure it's going to take me longer to get used to sleeping apart than it is him!

Do what's right for your family but don't apologise for your feelings.

Zebrasinpyjamas Mon 20-Apr-15 21:06:25

I believe (but willing to be corrected) that the noise from being in with you is actually one of the reasons why the sids guidelines recommend it as it stops the baby going into a super deep sleep.

Having said that, I felt similar pangs of sadness packing up various age groups of clothing. More on topic, My ds is still in with us at 11 months as it is easier than trekking down the hall to "his" room for his once nightly feed. I get a bit of light pressure from people saying I "should" move him but I think you should do what is best for your family. I like having us all together and I can settle him without really waking up if he has a restless night. If it doesn't feel right to move her, don't do it just because you think you should.

CornishGem Sun 04-Sep-16 22:41:54

I feel the same as you DueDecember14. I'd rather have baby in with me than my partner. But I know I should make that move to getting her to sleep in her own cot. I'm not getting a good night sleep at all because there isn't enough room in the bed for us all! I feel there will come a time I will move her into the travel cot in my room and once I've done this I will prepare myself to move her into her own room. I'm not rushing to do it though. I feel she is safe next to me. Do what you feel is best for you and do it in your own time. It's natural to feel attached and sad when you move them just do it in your own time. Good luck x

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