5 months: doesn't want Daddy at bedtime. Is this common?

[LetsPlayBamboozled]

Dd is 5 months. We started taking it in turns putting her to bed about 6 weeks ago. 4 month regression hit and dp was also helping settle her when she woke in the night. 2 weeks ago regression got even worse, I suspected teething. She wanted to be in my arms every time she woke and would then conk right out again so seemed to want comfort. At this point if dp tried to resettle her she would cry and get more upset. This then extended to bedtime, now it has to be me that outs her down. She is totally fine with him in the day. Is this common? Is it a phase? She has just this week supposedly entered that wonder week where she realises distances mean we can walk away but I've not seen evidence of this appear yet. I don't suppose there's much we can do if its me she wants but it was so nice to share the load. Anyone else experience this?

[Emsy1984]

Hi, we found the same with DS when he was younger...can't remember how old. He's now 13 months though and we alternate bedtimes with no problem. It just took a while but he suddenly was happy for daddy to put him to bed. We use a musical nightlight so there's some consistency no matter who is feeding and putting him to bed. Is she/has been breastfed?

[LetsPlayBamboozled]

Thanks that's good to know. No, she has formula, and has been exclusively ff since 3 weeks old.

[LetsPlayBamboozled]

Anyone else?

[Doje]

Yep, our DS goes through phases like this, usually when he's poorly or teething. DH has always done bath and bed, but sometimes he'll only settle for me. Once the phase is over - sometimes a week, sometimes two - he'll go back to 'normal' and be happy for his dad to put him to bed.

[FATEdestiny]

She will grow out of it.

You can encourage her though. Get Daddy to do the first bit of the bedtime routine (bath, sleepsuit on etc) and you taking over for the final settling bit will help keep him included.

[LetsPlayBamboozled]

Good to hear and good idea thank you. I hadn't thought to try that. Love these boards!

[33goingon64]

You'll be the preferred parent on and off for years to come especially in times of distress. Daddy will have his turn in the spotlight.

[33goingon64]

Also make sure he carries on doing bath and bed whenever DC is in a decent mood. DH has been default evening routine parent as he doesn't see DS during day. Important not to give in and take over as DC will make a fuss every time to get you back on duty and that bond will take longer to form.

[BananaDrama34]

My DD, nearly 4mo is like this every night with DH. It's as soon as he gets in from work around 6ish until she goes to bed. If he has her while I go to the toilet - she screams, if he changes her - she screams, if he has her while I eat my tea - she screams until I have her back!!! I find it hard, especially if I've been on my own with her all day. She will allow him to hold her during the day though.

[Zara8]

DS was very like this until he was nearly 1. Now he alternates (at 2.5) who he prefers! doesn't mind most nights.

DD only prefers me right now, she's 5/months

don't worry about it! ignore those who say you "have" to get baby used to other parent putting them to bed at this age, she'll grow out of it on her own