When will my 8.5mo sleep through the night?

[Newfamily2014]

Hello, my dd is 8.5months.
She is not sleeping through the night and I wonder if any of you clever mums and dads can think of a reason why. I know it is the ultimate question all mums want to know the answer to, but I really can't think of what else I could try/need to do.

She goes to sleep independently in a crib bed. I sit next to her and she holds my finger and sometimes I let go before she falls asleep and she doesn't know I am there. Tonight my Dh put her to bed and left the room when she was awake.

I separate feeding away from bed time. She is not rocked or fed to sleep.

She naps very well in the day, giving me two 1+1/2 hour naps.
But she still does not sleep through the night.

About 2 weeks ago we got rid of the overnight milk feed so now she goes to bed at 7.30pm and doesn't have any night feed.

She will wake about 4 times but settles immediately with us putting the dummy back in and turning her onto her side. I have heard her self settle during the night. Why doesn't she sleep through the night? Any ideas??!

[Squtternutbaush]

Sounds like she's relying on the dummy to sleep so when its falling out she wakes.

My 20 month old still does that but tbh she has literally just started sleeping more than 2 hour stretches in the last 2 months so I'm not taking it away :o

[mrsmugoo]

I have an 8.5 month old too.

He is great at self settling and does so through the night but still wakes and moans around 5am and I go in and feed him. I figure he's hungry after 10 hours and will go the full 11/12 hours when he's ready.

So basically you need to endure your LO can self settle and are definitely not hungry.

[Newfamily2014]

Thanks both of you. She sleeps soundly from 7.30pm until about 3.30am then starts grumbling a bit and the waking for the dummy starts.

When she had 1 feed overnight I think she slept better. Asleep at 7.20pm. Awake for feed 3ish. Straight back to sleep until 0720.

mrsmugoo how can I guarantee that she can self settle? I have heard her do it.

[SupermansGirl]

My DD is 1in 2weeks and only started sleeping through 2 weeks ago i feel your pain!

I think that to leave them to be as independant as possible is the best way but also wouldnt of taken the night time bottle away as that settles them and may make her wake up more looking for it?

Every month got easier for me from waking up 3 times then twice then once and eventually none going 8pm until 7.30am! I simply just changed her to a strict bedtime dinner at 6 bath at 7 milk and bed at 8 i put her down with bottle and night light or radio and leave the room straight away. At first it was hard she would cry but everyone told me to ignore it and she would everually go to sleep! The same with when she woke i ignored her if she went on for too long i would lay her down but no milk! And keep doing it and eventually they realise we arent givinv up!

Good luck

[Quitelikely]

I would actually class this as sleeping through. She is only waking for her soother. You're quite lucky!

Try getting a soother that glows in the dark along with a clip so that she can find it easily enough.

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

I think you know the answer- when she wakes, she needs her dummy to get back to sleep. She can't find it in the dark so she needs you to put it back.

Either you wait until she can find it (or, I would recommend, one of many dummies scattered around the cot) or you think about ways to remove it. Do you want to do that?

Personally though, if feeding in the night meant one feed and that's it, I would keep it up.

[Esmum07]

To be honest it depends on the baby. I hate to tell you but my DS woke at 2.30am - 3am every day for a feed until he was a year old even with a dream feed - made no difference. He didn't go beyond 5am until he started school! I remember one of us often being up (well napping on the sofa) at 4am whilst he played once he could walk. even now he is usually up at 6am and he goes to sleep at 8pm. He is now seven. We've been to parties that have finished at midnight and he's still up at 9am maximum. He doesn't need twelve hours and never has. I was as bad - I am a night owl type and when I was 3 I was regularly wide awake at 10pm. I must have driven my parents to distraction!

I don't think there is a tried or tested way to get them to sleep through to be honest. DS has friends who I know go to bed at 7pm and wake at 7am and always have done since early on but his best friend goes to bed at 8pm and is up and wide awake at 4.30am - he's full of life at school - just doesn't need the sleep (unlike his poor mum and dad!)

[Ashwagandha]

My DS is 37 months and has never slept through. I think some babies are just poor sleepers and that's all there is to it. I used to obsess about it, plead with the universe: 'when we he sleeeep?' Now, three years in, I just go with the flow and accept that this child doesn't sleep, probably will never be a good sleeper, and that one day it won't matter anymore. Sorry for the slightly negative post but its another point of view to consider.

[mrsmugoo]

New family - in terms of self settling, I mean without a dummy (or it's not really self settling). If she can get herself back to sleep in her own without help then if she moans/crud then you know she needs something (too hot/cold/nappy/hungry)

I know what you mean though about a night feed making them sleep better. However I know mine will only ever sleep max 2 more hours after a feed which is why I don't (well try not to) feed until 4:30/5am - otherwise I won't be able to get him back to sleep if he wakes at 5am having been fed at 3am.

I hope he stops waking early morning soon though - he's done it a few times but it never sticks!

[Newfamily2014]

Thanks everyone for your replies, really good to get your perspectives and opinions.

quitelikely a glow in the dark dummy! Never knew such a thing existed! And interesting to read that you think this is sleeping through-maybe she is?!

Touch wood and anything else lucky, her night sleep is getting better and last night she only grumbled once and went straight back to sleep with the dummy.
I wonder if she has also gone through the 8 month sleep regression that I didn't know existed until reading posts on here. But, every night is different so it's hard to say what will happen tonight.

mremugoo I've wondered a lot about getting rid of the dummy, but it's been such a useful tool (she had some silent reflux at night when she was little) and it helped with that that I would be nervous about getting rid of it. Plus she is now able to put it back on herself so hopefully she'll be able to do this over night.

I'll wait and see what happens to tonight. Hope you all get some sleep too x