Please advise on 3 year old sleep patterns

[rachndan]

Hi all

We are still struggling to get our just turned 3 year old to sleep without us being in the room.

Previously my partner had to lay on our daughters bed until she fell asleep, we have now got this to be just sitting at the end of the bed but this is what HAS to be done every night. If she just leaves her then she just keeps coming out of the room.

Then during the night she comes into our room and will only go back to sleep in her bed if we repeat the process we did earlier in the night.

We are after suggestions about how to get her to just go to sleep after being put in bed and having a story.

We have seen some of the following suggestions -

1. Leave the room, keep the door ajar (or a nightlight in room) and just leave her, if she comes out just put her back in and repeat.
   
2. Let her watch a DVD until she drifts off.
   
3. Go from sitting on end of bed, to by the side of bed, to by the door, to out of the door.
   

Any other ideas would be greatly received.

Thanks

[addictedtosugar]

I'd go with 3, or see if a new teddy/doll would act as a guardian angel to watch her while she sleeps (it might need a light/short song)- ie replace parent being there when falling asleep, and object which can remain in her room.

[Misty9]

We had this problem with ds when he went into a bed at nearly two. My husband finally cracked it by saying he'd sing lullabies (after bedtime routine) and sit therre for ten minutes then leave the room. He does extend this if ds is unsettled and nearly asleep but it generally works. This was from spending up to 90 minutes settling him beforehand.

Of course, it could just be that ds was ready to sleep alone. One book we read said it was important to decide in advance if you are happy to stay or not; feeling frustrated while sitting tthere is the worst thing. It suggested meditation but I would sneakily mumsnet

[Misty9]

Forgot to say, ds is just three now.

[golemmings]

We're also using gradual retreat. It's very gradual because dh still falls asleep in ds's bed and sits in the room whilst I sit in the doorway and sometimes on the landing. We also have a stair gate on the door to keep him there, and have had some success with a special teddy to cuddle in the night. We're also just given him a gloclock. His sister had it from about 18mo with great success and he's learning. Somehow it's easier to manage bedtime if you know they can resettle themselves at night.

[SleepyLambs]

As a sleep consultant, I would recommend your 3rd idea. It's ideal to avoid getting into a battle situation where she gets upset as she'll produce cortisol (stress hormone) which fights sleep. On the same note, I would avoid the TV because it's stimulating to young brains, prevents the production of melatonin and therefore isn't conducive to sleep.