3.5 yo never been a good sleeper at my wits end!

[lepetitchoufleur]

Hi, was wondering if any of you have any great tips for me PLEASE! Oh and sorry about the essay. My lovely DS Has never been a good sleeper and after 3.5 years I've had enough really! He wakes, sometimes only once in the night but currently 4 - 5 times a night. He's usually not upset or crying, he just gets out of bed and wanders over to our bedroom and stands in our doorway. I think he's checking we're there or something. But I always wake up, go to him and walk him back to his bed. He happily gets back in and snuggles down to sleep, but a little while later he's off again. He's not sleep walking because he sees me and sometimes lifts his arms to be picked up, very occasionally he actually talks to me very coherently and asks for a particular toy or a cuddle before I go but I try to not hug or pick up so I'm not rewarding his behaviour. I don't think he's cold. I've considered getting a grobag for him just to check but I'm worried he'll try to get up and walk around and actually fall over. He does kick his duvet off but he never feels cold when I go to him. He does still have a nap in the morning but we've tried dropping that before and he just was EXAUSTED all the time. He's one of those children who gets more excited / hyper the more tired he is so was basically like toddler on speed for a few weeks, a nightmare to settle down to bed in the first place (he normally settles pretty well) and still waking in the night. It's only a few second of disturbance every time, I'm very lucky he's not crying or awake for hours or anything I know, but still, I'm very tired and a grouchy mummy! Any ideas?

[TryingNotToLaugh]

Ds was like this. He'd often come in to tell you he was being very quiet so he wouldn't wake you up!

At bedtime, just keep making it clear that he mustn't get out of bed till morning.

You can get special clocks for toddlers, so they can tell when it is morning. I'm sure someone will be along soon to tell you what they're called.

Make sure he has a bottle of water by his bed and blackout blinds.

Also, when he comes to you, ask him to put himself back to bed. He might not, but this is something to encourage if you can.

He'll get there in the end.

[Patienceisapparentlyavirtue]

Have you had a look at 'rapid return' technique? Or there is a No Cry Sleep Solution version especially for toddlers, though I haven't used that personally.

Fonally - I know at this age it is usually a habit thing, but just as a check if he's never been a good sleeper, is there any chance he's getting woken by asthma or sleep apnoea? my dnephew always snored a lot and slept badly and turned out at 2.5 to have issues with tonsils and adenoids, my sis had tried everything but nothing really stuck until he'd had them taken out, then he slept through v quickly.

[IsItMeOr]

We found the groclock was helpful with our DS. Now he's in a full size bed, we have the Jojo duvet clips, which seem to be enough to stop him falling out.

We gave him an Ikea light on the wall by his bed, which he could easily turn on (and off), and always a drink of water (non-spillable cup).

Good luck.

[lepetitchoufleur]

Ah thanks for the help guys! Yes, he has the gro clock. He loves the grow clock. He says goodnight to mr sun every night and gets a tad shirty if I forget this part of his bed time routine. However, he joyfully ignores the gro clock. Sneaky bugger.

I like the idea of getting him to take himself back to bed and trying a bottle of water. Will give that a go.

Rapid return and controlled crying, well to be honest I couldn't get him back to the bed any quicker or more fuss free if I tried and he doesn't cry and is quite happy to be put back to bed so I can't really try them sadly.

The asthma is a very interesting thought! His Dad has asthma and I'm sure he does as well, although we've not had any real breathing problems as yet. And I had tonsils and adenoids out as a child. I might get that checked out. Thank you!

[Patienceisapparentlyavirtue]

Good luck! Just in case, the No Cry Sleep Solution isn't controlled crying, but a set of approaches - eg one (which may well not be right for your DS, but as an idea of it!) is making a photo book of the child going through each step of their nightly routine and after bedtime, to help discuss it outside of the actual situation. Hope you find some kind of answer, no matter what it is

[IsItMeOr]

Maybe try the Jojo duvet clips, as they hold the duvet a bit more snugly, and may discourage him getting out?

I think they're about £10.

[lucy101]

We put a stairgate on the bedroom door.