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ignore or feed 3 month old

21 replies

RRRJ83 · 29/09/2014 06:27

I have a 3 month old who in the past week has started waking every 2-3 hours. She goes down at 9/10 wakes at 12.30, 2.45, 3.45, 5.30, 7, 9 and 10.30 for the day.

This is frustrating as we were on bed at 10 Wales at 4.30, then 6.30, 9 then 10.30 for the day

Why is this happening? She goes back to sleep very quickly if i nurse her but really want to break this habit.

She has recently found her voice so if I ignore her she starts making quite loud noises which disrupt y husband before work and probably the neighbour sleeping directly below us.

Any tips? She fights sleep unless nursed.

Thank you!

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RRRJ83 · 29/09/2014 06:28

Sorry for typos!

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Jenijena · 29/09/2014 06:39

If you look up four month sleep regression, you can see that this sort if behaviour is quite normal (but you seem to have hit it early).

At three months, your little one is very young to ignore, so I would feed her. You might want to leave her for a minute to check she's waking up and not just stirring, but if she's anything like my DS, she will be wanting that food. (Btw it's not a sign of needing to wean... Just a developmental spurt)

This too will pass...

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Finola1step · 29/09/2014 06:41

Yep, agree with Jen. If baby is waking up properly for a feed, then baby needs feeding.

It's a phase. It will pass.

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dobedobedo · 29/09/2014 06:46

Agree with the others. She needs fed so feed her. It does get easier.

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TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle · 29/09/2014 06:49

Yay! It's not just me! (Sorry!!)

My previously amazing sleeper has started doing this too. It's so bloody annoying. She definitely doesn't need feeding because I put her on the boob and she barely sucks before she's sleeping again. I put her down but she's up in an hour or so.

Sometimes I can pat and sssh her back to sleep without needing to even pick her up. But I'd prefer it if she just stayed asleep like she used to!! Smile

I bloody well hope the 4month sleep regression doesn't last until she's 4months. I'm going to be knackered!!

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mummytime · 29/09/2014 07:00

3 months is still very young. How much is she feeding in the day?

I would think she is probably having a growth spurt. However all kinds of things can change sleep patterns at this age; a trip away, a cold, one disturbed night, and soon teething.

If she isn't taking much, it could be she wants the comfort - so a dummy might help, but you still could be disturbed as she loses it. Your husband will probably learn to sleep through it a bit, is he getting up at all in the night, even if only to pass her to you.

To be honest I would try cluster feeding during the day, and getting as much into her then. Then try feeding her for longer at 12:30 ish, getting your husband to cuddle her at 2:45 to see if she will go back to sleep with just a cuddle (and can't smell milk) and so on. Get sleep whenever you can, but you may well be getting up for the day at 7 or 5:30, and try to keep her awake a bit longer - maybe do something.

But also try to catch up on sleep when she does.

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MrsS28 · 29/09/2014 08:41

Seems normal to me. My 9 month old has a similar pattern except he's then up for the day from 6/7am

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RRRJ83 · 29/09/2014 11:20

Thank you for your helpful replies. I am in agreement not to ignore her, but the books I read say to leave for 3 hours minimum and avoid feeding during the night.

I think you may be right that she's going through a growth spurt, although I have been very busy during the days this week and maybe haven't spent as much time just us feeding (it's behind a cover out and about) in the evenings and she's staying on me for an hour at a time, rather than the previous 10-15 minutes. So could this be because she's not being fed as much during the day. I am not as busy now so will make sure I spend longer feeding.

Husband is a fantastic help. Getting up and changing her nappy, cuddles and attempt to resettle. If she doesn't sleep I will feed her and husband winds her and puts her down.

I will look up the 4 month sleep regression now! X

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mrsmugoo · 29/09/2014 11:27

Avoid feeding a three month old in the night??

I'd rip those books up.

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TwentyTinyToes · 29/09/2014 11:31

She probably hasn't read the book Grin

Nursing is about much more than just nutrition, although at three months she is probably hungry. Feed her, she is tiny. Everything is a phase.

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Vikkijayne2507 · 29/09/2014 11:34

I have a 6 month old and agree 3 months far too young to ignore. Mine still wakes every 3 hrs and we have bad nights but he's done big stretches in the past. It may not be to feed but comfort and reassurance. My lo seems to be much happier now hitting 6 months. You can't be sure if your bf how much they are drinking.

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RRRJ83 · 29/09/2014 11:44

The book says feed them more in the day and go for 4 hour stretches at night, so some degree of logic, but I'm not happy doing that, hence my post for reassurance, which I am pleased for!

Everything is a phase. I like that.

I feed on demand so it's hard to ignore at night, I just want her happy and satisfied. Thank you for your reassuring words. I forget how little she is because she has grown so much from birth xx

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NickiFury · 29/09/2014 11:49

Feed. I read that most babies are not physically able to sleep through the night till after around 8 months old. I waited till dd was 10 months before offering water instead of a feed. She dropped straight back off and did the same the following few nights. After that I never had to feed her again in the night, she would stir then just fall straight back to sleep so assume she wasn't hungry. Obviously if she was distressed I still would have fed her. Three months is tiny, they need to be fed.

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MindReader · 29/09/2014 12:05

Oh, FEED HER, definitely.

She's only 12 weeks old and her stomach is still very small and will empty quickly and need refilling often, even at night unfortunately.
She isn't waking for no reason, she's hungry - and yes, probably going through a growth spurt.

It's tough, the first few months, and the night feeds can be utterly utterly exhausting (if I recall correctly!) but you sound like you are doing a good job putting her needs first. Forget the books and trust your instincts - they are right! Grin

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mrsmugoo · 29/09/2014 12:31

I don't think it maters how much you feed a tiny baby in the day - they simply cannot go long stetches without food. My 6 month old still wakes for a feed in the night. I'm winding it down gradually to wean him off being hungry in the night now he's bigger and he's capable of getting his nutrition in daylight hours.

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PurplePidjin · 29/09/2014 12:35

//www.kellymom.com is the only resource I'd truly trust tbh. Read the book your baby is writing, not the one a marketing department wants to sell you

Feed, feed, feed, feed feed. And more feeding :)

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RRRJ83 · 29/09/2014 16:26

Thank you everyone and thanks purple for the link.

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RRRJ83 · 29/09/2014 16:29

That Kelly's site is awesome. Thanks again!

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qumquat · 03/10/2014 20:32

The book you read sounds horrific! Most 3 month olds need feeding during the night.

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katandkits · 03/10/2014 23:04

I wouldn't ignore a child of any age if they cried for me in the night. What a horrid book to suggest ignoring a little baby!
i think it us reasonable to expect to night feed for the first year. Hopefully it will decrease for you as time goes on. If you get to 12 months and you are still night feeding then some gentle sleep training/night weaning strategies may work.
i have a three month old. She doesn't always nurse to sleep as she often likes to be rocked and she uses a dummy. She has previously been down to 1 night feed but 2 is more usual and at the moment it is a bad patch and it is 3 feeds per night. I count anything after 6 am as daytime.

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sweetkitty · 03/10/2014 23:11

I've had four, three of which woke every 2-3 hours for a feed up until they were 12 months old, weaning did not make one but of difference to their sleep patterns, even on 3 meals and snacks during the day.

I coped by cosleeping and feeding them whilst half asleep myself, when they were a year, I gently weaned them off feeding at night by leaving them with DP and sleeping in another room so they were never left alone to cry but just didn't get milk, after 1-2 nights they were sleeping through the night.

Your DD is still tiny, just feed and comfort her, I'm lying beside my 8 year old DD2 now, she was a terrible boob monster as a baby but it passes so quickly.

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