Co sleeping. Is it really that 'bad'?

[SignoraStronza]

Sorry for possibly rambling incoherent post. Have had one 1-2 hour stretch of sleep each night for the past three nights and that's it. And only because the night duty mw took pity on me, removed dc3 and put some formula down him while I passed out.
Not the most fun elcs. Lasted three hours due to everything being adhered to everything else and quite a big pph. He was born about 1pm and thankfully managed to catch the tongue tie snippy lady before she left for the weekend so he's latching on ok and I think I know what I'm doing after two previous dcs/sections/exclusive bf.

However, milk still not in and this one seems hungrier than the other two. He will also only sleep on or next to a warm body and absolutely will not settle in the crib or stay asleep when deposited into one. Seeing all these posters round the mat ward is making me totally paranoid, especially as am trying so desperately to avoid nodding off with him. However much I try I really can't avoid it. Have asked the mw to keep their eye on me but they are busy and am in a pvt bay.

At home I have a Co sleeper crib next to the bed, quite a firm mattress and have coslept quite happily with both previous dcs - in fact am quite sure the two year old will be in the middle on a few occasions too.

Would never put the newborn between me and Dh, don't smoke at all or drink much, bf on demand and don't cover with a heavy duvet.

[SignoraStronza]

So, am just wondering why now there seems to be such a massive campaign against Co sleeping. Surely if the hormones involved in bf make you drowsy then we're designed to sleep with our offspring?

[ToAvoidConversation]

Can't comment on co-sleeping but had my booking in appointment with the midwife recently and she said they are not allowed to offer to take your baby off you to let you sleep but that they will help if they are asked to so don't be afraid to ask for help during the night so you can get some sleep.

[Lally112]

I do co sleeping, but I would be careful with the painkillers you will get after emcs like tramadol and diclofenac because they can make you even more sleepy than you already are. you can get three sided cots though for when you get home. we have the john lewis one still incase I have anymore (more like when I have more).

[beccajoh]

Co-sleeping seems to be the solution to any sleep-related problem on Mumsnet.

[morechildrenplease]

I had exactly the same problems with all my Dc. I took a lot of precautions - no pillow or duvet and co-slept with last two without any difficulty. My choices were fall asleep by accident while holding baby which I did a few times, co-sleep safely or just don't sleep at all. For me it was obvious which was the safest option.

[treadheavily]

I co slept with mine but looking back it was a little unwise in the early days with dc2 after elcs as I was heavily dosed. The hospital I was in encouraged it but soon after changed tack after a baby died on the ward, smothered when mother dosed off.

I feel for you. Perhaps when you are off meds and comfy at home it would be a better time to co sleep. I used to put baby next to me, up where the pillow would have been so blankets couldn't flick over the face.

[evertonmint]

You need to read a book called Sweet Sleep by La Leche (not just about co-sleeping but fantastic on it)

I didn't co-sleep with first two as such although ended up in a few situations where I fell asleep in bed with them without being prepared as I think many people do and found that a bit scary.

With DC3 DH and I realised very quickly we'd probably need to try this to get enough sleep to function with the other two. I was very nervous due to the advice so read this book first. It cuts through the scare stories to explain when it's as safe as them being in a cot in your room and when it's not, and gives clear advice on how to make it safe.

We happily co-slept for 10 weeks, I am truly the most rested I've been despite having 2 others, and he is now in his cot next to our bed and sleeping very well. It has been a revelation for us.

Everyone offers it as a solution on MN. For us, doing it as safely as possible rather than in a haphazard unplanned way, it has been.

Don't do it while you're still on pain meds though. And go and give your baby to the midwives for a few hours while you rest. I did this with DC3 at 4am after no sleep for nearly 48 hours and got four very precious hours.

[evertonmint]

Also until I got confident with it, I slept with the baby in a separate bed to DH so I could work out how to do it without also worrying about him crushing the baby!

[mupperoon]

I read recently that Sweden has a lower incidence of SIDS than the UK but there is no anti-cosleeping campaign there and it's very common. There was also an interesting study comparing SIDS in British White vs Pakistani babies in Bradford which showed lower incidence in the latter despite side sleeping, co-sleeping etc.

I can't find the links now. I looked it up when suffering paranoia after sleeping with my now 6 week old baby on my chest for the first few nights after coming home from our EMCS... Since then, she's slept next to me in bed with reasonable precautions if we really can't settle her. And it's lovely.

[Only1scoop]

I personally find the thought of co sleeping with such a tiny new baby terrifying ....I don't think I'd get a wink of sleep.

[tanukiton]

There is a difference between choosing to co-sleep with planning and falling asleep next to a baby. The problem is that the stats include all together.

[Lucyadams184]

I'm not a fan of co sleeping as I think it can be dangerous but I also have friends that have done it and I can see why people do it. I used to have the cot right next to our bed but with the bar up as I'm quite a deep sleeper and would never have forgiven myself if the worst was to happen.

[evertonmint]

Tanukiton - yes exactly! I was terrified until I read into it properly. If you follow safe sleeping guidelines there is no increased risk to your baby compared to them sleeping in their own cot next to you. The issues are nearly always due to other factors. It really reassured me with DC3, and even though I didn't want it to be a long term thing, it got us through the worst of sleep deprivation and establishing breastfeeding really well. Now not co-sleeping 3 months in, but we now have a safe bed and the right knowledge should we have a bad night and end up doing it again ad hoc.

[bassingtonffrench]

i could have written your post! DC3 also here and it took ages for my milk to come in.

i think cosleeping in a hospital bed is bad because they are so narrow. however, in my hospital they had cribs which attached onto the bed which they reserved for csection mums because it meant you didn't have to get out of bed to see to the baby. no anti cosleeping posters in my hospitasl either.

ask for help in the night from the midwives. mine took DC3 away several times because he was so awful!

[carolinementzer]

HIya, I asked the same question when my DD was little as she was such a terrible sleeper - we were literally up every 1-2 hours. In the end I did some research on co-sleeping and sleep habits around the world - it was so interesting - in fact completely enlightening. Here's the post I wrote if you want to have a read - mydaughterwontsleep.com/2014/07/30/how-children-in-buenos-aires-go-to-bed-late/
In the end, as long as you co-sleep safely I think you should do what you feel comfortable with. Every parent and baby is different. Good luck!