Would you introduce a dummy to aid self soothing to sleep or is it more trouble than it is worth?

[SpawningSalmon]

My 3 month old goes off to sleep easily, by being held and patted or patted on the back in his moses basket. I can put him into his moses basket or stop patting literally as soon as his eyes close and he will sleep. I have always tried to put him down when he is on the brink of sleep or just fallen asleep to help with self soothing as he got older. He has not ever self soothed in his moses basket, but has occasionally dropped off in his car seat when it is stationary (if it is moving or in the car he always falls asleep in it).

Even though he still goes off to sleep pretty easily as described above, I get the feeling that he is starting to grow out of this routine and sometimes seems irritated by it. For this reason and also his age I am very keen for him to learn to self soothe.

Tonight when I put him in his basket and started to pat his back he began to cry more loudly, so I gave him a dummy, which he has never had before. He instantly started sucking it and soothed himself to sleep within minutes. So my question to all with experience of this, is would you go down this route?
I have always been anti dummy, as I see it as one more habit to break down the road, but am now wondering if it might be useful to teach him to self settle? WWYD?

[allisgood1]

I wouldn't but that's just me. Baby was inside you for 9 months do asking him to self soothe already is a bit really. But then there are people who found the dummy a lifesaver though getting rid of it is a much harder task

[Shakey1500]

I was adamant DS wouldn't have a dummy. It didn't last long

I'm now of the "If it soothes, aids sleep then why not?" route. We were lucky that we were able to get rid at 10 months when DS had a cold, it was difficult for him to breathe through his nose, had to use mouth so the dummy was ditched naturally as it were and we seized the opportunity to chuck it.

[SpawningSalmon]

I think I have already decided against it. He woke up, I popped the dummy back in, he started sucking immediately and I walked out of the room. No thanks, I would rather put my baby to sleep myself than rely on a bit of plastic to do it.

Absolutely no judging other parents if they choose to as I totally get that not all babies sleep as well as mine does, it's just not right for me.

Thanks for both replies.

[Zabzab]

Hah, that is exactly the question I was about to ask on this forum, looking forward to hearing more on this! At the end of the day, everyone has opinions like you should not use a dummy / hold the baby / pat / rock / stay with them / let them suck their fingers etc. But our babies are not robots, what is so bad about letting them be babies and use some of these tools? Which ones are the worst? This is a genuine question, I am a first time mum and am probably naive about the long term implications of some of these soothing aids - how bad can they be? The only one I really get is thumb sucking as it can ruin teeth..

[Writerwannabe83]

I first gave a dummy when DS was 10 weeks old as he just cried and cried - this was on the advice of the HV. I really didn't want to but was desperate for sleep. It turned out to be a life saver as DS would usually be sleep within 5 minutes of sucking it as opposed to crying for hours on end.

When he was about 14 weeks old he started refusing the dummy but he was still able to self soothe himself to sleep without it.

However the 16 week sleep regression hit and now, 6 weeks later, DS will still not go to sleep unless I'm either feeding him or rocking him. If I try and put him in his cot when he is awake he just cries and cries - it's exhausting.

We have tried introducing the dummy again but he just won't take it. I really, really wish he would.

[Shakey1500]

Sorry, I'm confused! To clarify (as I'm prone to getting wrong end of stick)

You had a dummy in the house anyway. Tried it tonight as you thought usual routine may be wearing off. Started sucking and self soothed right away. Asked question here, two replies, baby woke, you put dummy back in, he self soothed again, you left the room. Did you leave the dummy in? (sorry, it's not clear), then decided against it all within the space of 20 minutes ish??

[Shakey1500]

Sorry, re-reading the above sounds a bit harsh. Not meant to be

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

You'd rather stay there holding and patting your baby than have him go to sleep by himself
Each to their own, but you get no prizes for martyrdom in parenting.

[MarlenaGru]

Can 3 month old babies physically self-soothe yet? Mine isn't quite that old,yet but we have to feed or rock her to sleep still and I expect to need to do that until she is at least 4 months (and then I believe the regression will make life hell but I didn't experience it with my first as it was already hell by then!)

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

Are you feeling a bit unnecessary?

[DurhamDurham]

I never bothered with dummies with either of mine. I don't think there's anything wrong with them for babies but I hate to see toddlers walking around with them, it looks awful. Especially when they try to talk with them in. But that's just my opinion of course
I didn't want to introduce a dummy as I knew that as soon as they had it I would be itching to take it off them again.

[hollie84]

DS2 self-settled (with a dummy) from before 3 months. DS1 was fed or rocked to sleep until 9 months when I taught him to self settle. Got rid of DS1's dummy at about a year with no trauma.

[SpawningSalmon]

I had the dummy in the house as it came with the Tommee Tippee Microwave Steriliser.

He actually woke again a third time, minutes after the second and I patted him back off to sleep and he hasn't woken since. This coupled with my own actions of walking straight out on him after the previous wake up made me feel that it wasn't the right path for me.

I am actually contemplating whether there is a way that I can use it to get him to start to wind down to sleep but then remove it as my biggest obstacle (I think) is triggering him to start the process of dropping off to sleep as he begins to cry as soon as I get him swaddled and into the pat to sleep position (although he fairly quickly settles again as previously described).

Hope that clears things up. I am still interested in other peoples thoughts on this. Hopefully Zabzab will get some answers too.

[VeryLittleGravitasIndeed]

DD wasn't really interested in a dummy until about 6 months, although we used one in the car from time to time if she was wound up before then.

Since then we use one for naps as it helps to comfort her and it's easier than one of us constantly holding her whole she sleeps (the other option she tolerates). I hopes she'll grow out of it in a month or so, apparently the urgent need to suck for comfort wanes at about 9 months.

I wouldn't want her to have one when she's awake, or all night, but I don't mind it from time to time.

[Doobledootch]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with enabling your child to self settle and go back to sleep.

[FrankelandFilly]

My DD (6 months) has a dummy when she goes to sleep. She was a very sucky baby and it really helped in soothing her to sleep. She is not dependent on it, she often spits it out at night without fussing.

Just remember that babies generally are not capable of true self soothing until they're about 4/5 months old, they just don't have the ability at that age, hence why they don't advise sleep training until this age.