3 years on and still ds2 won't sleep past 4.30am, exhausted!

(20 Posts)
Davidtennantmistress Sun 17-Aug-14 07:08:51

In need of help, I'm now at the point of beyond pissed off, I've been up with him tonight at 1.15 4 and then into his bed from 4.30 where he was rolling about bouncing messing around.

He is three next week. I've now had enough it's a rare day he sleeps past 4.30 he has an hours nap during the day if he doesn't we can expect a 3.30 am wake up.

He goes to bed at 6.30-7 any earlier means an early wake up any later means a ratty child the next day you can't do anything with.

He wakes up full of beans partner gets up with him as well, however he's a morning person and will happily get up whatever time do wakes up even if it is 4 am, he is taken down stairs, and when I tell partner enough is enough he is defensive or says what do you suggest, I suggest he returns him back to bed, ds will scream cry run about and generally be a little gremlin. I gave in at 6.40 today. He didn't go back to sleep.

What can I do? Geo clocks don't work, nothing is waking him up. I'm three months pregnant and can't cope with being up all night with a new born and then up for the say from 4.30 it won't happen. Fact. Especially when I've got the school run to do. Partner is going away for three weeks with work on the 7 th and I intend to have ds settled and sleeping properly until 5.30 at least by his return.

BlackWings Sun 17-Aug-14 07:38:38

Sympathies, I have an early riser too. Almost 6 now and never slept past 6am which I realize is a whole lot better than 4.30am which was his usual wake up time from 0-2yrs.
However I do not let him 'get up' until 7am at the weekend. He's allowed to play quietly in his room (jigsaws/books). I rarely get back to sleep but at least I'm still resting.
If you don't think that'll work yet I would silently take him back to bed, 1st time he gets up just say it's still nighttime back to bed, next time no speaking just take him back. You'll probably have to do it several million times to start with.
The main point is not to get up with him speaking from bitter experience.
Sounds like a good thing your DH is going away if you can't get him on board.

Davidtennantmistress Sun 17-Aug-14 20:35:09

I'm hoping I can start the not coming in with us until x when he's a bit older. Currently though he thinks it's hysterical to run in and wake up ds1 as well, which would be fine if ds1 wasn't the child who even at 8 needs 10 hours minimum sleep pref 12 he's so awful with attitude without his sleep.

Yes not getting up with him is going to be my focus, not sure if my getting in next to him is a good thing or not, hubs thinks not as he remembers ds1, when I first met him ds1 would creep into my bed every night about midnight, he was 3.5 I didn't care just slid into the cold space and he went in my warm space, would sleep until 8 ish was bliss lol. However, when I tried to break that at 4.5 he didn't take too kindly, lots of midnight calls to mum to stop me from getting to frustrated with sleep deprivation. But I'm at the stage of I don't care it's tomorrow's problem as long as I sleep today lol.

TerrifiedMothertobe Sun 17-Aug-14 22:04:54

Try as hard as you can to crack this before next baby arrives, we too have an early riser 5/530 and the 'discussions' can wake baby at that time and it's just carnage. At least without a baby now you can ball him out and it's the two of you.

Good luck.

Davidtennantmistress Mon 18-Aug-14 07:20:16

I am going to crack him. I'm getting there with his eating. He woke at 3.20 today and got into my bed, bad times, but he stayed asleep until 6.20 I feel positively epic!

Rumandcokeplease Mon 18-Aug-14 07:29:30

He is old enough to understand that he has to stay in bed. Why didn't the gro clock work? Is it worth trying again?

PastaBow Mon 18-Aug-14 07:39:20

As runandcoke says what happened with the GroClock? At least it gives you a point if reference to demonstrate it is still night time iyswim?

I think you might have to have a few really tough nights where you keep returning him to bed before he can get to wake up DS1.

I had to sit on the stair outside DD's room when she went through a phase of getting out of bed as soon as she was put in it.

Davidtennantmistress Mon 18-Aug-14 20:51:28

He woke up earlier and earlier with it. sad

Rumandcokeplease Mon 18-Aug-14 21:34:30

Oh dear! My dd was waking at 5.30am so we set the gro clock to 5.15 for a few days so that she was used to seeing it lit up when she woke, we then started putting it back 10 minutes every few days and if she woke before the sun we made sure she stayed in bed until the sun came up. She soon got the idea that she wasn't allowed out of bed until the sun was up! It only took about 2 weeks for us to get to 6.30am which made a massive difference! Her clock is now set for 7am but she's very rarely awake before then nowadays! If I forget to turn it on she doesn't get up until I go and get her, I'll hear her wake up but if she sees that the suns not up she rolls over and goes back to sleep!

I really would try it again if I were you!

Bugaboom Tue 19-Aug-14 06:44:15

I was going to write a similar post myself except it's DS1 who is 2 and DC 2 due in January. A good day is 5.30 but last few days 4.30. He's exhausted and I am despairing at how I will cope with this and a newborn. One of us brings him into our spare bed but it's variable whether he goes back to sleep or not. I completely agree that it is easier to (hopefully) get a bit more rest by getting in with him but probably isn't helping the overall situation. Going to buy a gro clock today- as much to spur me onto changing things. Good luck OP

Davidtennantmistress Tue 19-Aug-14 07:06:20

I'll give one a go again and see how we go, he woke again at 4.40 but managed to convince him to go back to sleep until 5.55 can't overly moan at that.

PastaBow Tue 19-Aug-14 07:20:10

We did the same as rumandcoke with the clock.

We keep it out of reach so she can't press the override button.

BlackWings Tue 19-Aug-14 07:24:20

Your last post made me smile OP. I keep asking myself how I got to the point where 6am is a reasonable time to get up!
On the plus side there are advantages to having an early riser. I actually have to be up by 6 on work days and I never have the stress of waking a tired/grumpy child for school as he's up 3 hours before school starts.
Small mercies.

Davidtennantmistress Tue 19-Aug-14 07:33:01

Haha I did say just five more minutes and we can get up but he started
To jump about and said no mummy I had my big sleep now! grin

BlackWings Tue 19-Aug-14 07:39:27

Ds stands in my room watching my digital clock just waiting for the 5 to change to a 6 [sigh]. I would love to be so full of energy at that time, I'm sure he has caffeine flowing through his veins.

HappyAsASandboy Tue 19-Aug-14 08:20:47

I would push the bedtime back for at least a week, coping with the grumpy toddler for the week.

It's nothing on the same scale, but my 3 year old DS consistently work at 5.30 - 6am, which was getting to be too early once I was pregnant and knackered anyway.

After a few nights of 8.30 or so, morning had been pushed back to 7 - 7.30am smile We kept the hour or so nap in the afternoon nap because he can't get through the long nursery day without it.

We can now put him to bed a bit earlier with no effect on the morning smile It was like we had to get him truly knackered before he'd sleep late (er!), but once he'd done it he's been able to do it since.

Good luck!

AWombWithoutARoof Sun 24-Aug-14 22:21:59

I'd agree that he's old enough to understand that he isn't to wake anyone else in the house until the sun is up on his clock. Waking his brother is a massive no no.

Return to bed every time, with "it's night time until the sun is here". The clock is out of his reach, isn't it? So he can't override it?

I agree with happyasasandboy

Also you need to be firm with the gro clock. DS is 27m and just got one. He understands. He still gets up bu now we can take him back through and show him the clock and put him back to bed. He doesn't protest anymore because we stood firm when we started to introduce it.

TerrifiedMothertobe Mon 25-Aug-14 21:40:44

We tried gro clock and our early riser ignored it. He knew what to do but just wasn't going to stick to it.

I am not sure that there is actually a solution. We have tried everything and he just seems to do as his body tells him.

It's crap.

PourquoiPas Mon 25-Aug-14 22:08:35

We used a combination of gro clock, sticker chart and massive bribes. As rumandcoke did we started by setting the clock for 4:30am (sob) and then increased gradually. It's set for 6:30am nowadays which is an amazing lie in in comparison!

Every time DS stayed in bed quietly until the sun came back he got a sticker, when he got x stickers he got an amazing toy which he had chosen himself (amazing to a two year old being something from the pound shop more often than not). Started out with 5 stickers to get the toy but he was only just 2 so we were trying sticker charts for the first time and wanted to teach him how they worked as well. As he got older the rewards changed to treats like going out for breakfast or to the farm.

He sometimes wakes up before the clock but plays quietly in his room which is fine with us.

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