Don't want to do controlled crying, any other suggestions to get baby to sleep?

[deaconblue]

Ds is 21 weeks old and falls asleep on the boob most nights at 7pm. Trouble comes once a week or so when he doesn't nod off and then I end up cuddling/rocking him to sleep. I do the same for all his daytime sleeps too. It doesn't bother me except that he will only go off if it's me rocking him so can be a nightmare when hubby or grandma is in charge. Have tried patting him in his cot, and reading him to sleep - after 40 minutes of reading Charlie and the Chocolate factory aloud in soothing voice, had sore throat, was bored and gave up and rocked him!
Can't bear to leave him to cry. Tried it once and he screamed for 90mins until he was nearly sick even though we went in to reassure him at intervals. any other suggestions? He rarely wakes us up in the night so I guess he must be self soothing then??

[Beauregard]

Could he be overtired ?
dd2 does this every so often ,including last night and in the end we resorted to putting her in the pushchair and rocking it,and believe me i dont like rocking but it was desperation.
Or what about a walk?

[deaconblue]

We have walked him to sleep on occasions and (I know this is supposed to be a cardinal sin) driven him around on a couple of really desperate occasions.
It seems to be linked to him having a bit of wind or needing a poo an hour after his last feed but I can't think of any way of preventing that.
How old is dd2?

[Beauregard]

dd2 is 8 and a half months and is still no nearer to being completely predictable with sleeping or going to sleep .

[FrannyandZooey]

I like this page from Dr Sears - the 'transitioning techniques' in particular seem like they could be useful for you.

Forget about cardinal sins - it's natural and desirable to help your baby get to sleep. You are meeting his needs at the present moment - I can promise you he won't be asking you to drive him around in the car so he can fall asleep when he is 14

[TooTicky]

Babies are meant to feed themselves to sleep - failing that, they will generally sleep when tired as long as they feel safe and happy. I know this doesn't help when somebody else is babysitting. Good for you for not doing controlled crying

[deaconblue]

Aren't they little monsters? PErhaps I shouldn't moan as he is fine most nights but a friend was horrified the other day when I said I either feed or rock him to sleep. I think I'm just getting nervous as am planning to finish breast feeding in 6 weeks or so and wonder how on earth I'll get him to sleep at bedtime.

[deaconblue]

Thank you franny and zooey and tooticky, that makes me feel much better. Have been joking that at this rate I'll be breast feeding my fifteen year old son!!! Mum said his friends will ask where his packed lunch is and then I'll walk in!!

[FrannyandZooey]

Ah shoppingbags you have a way to go before you reach the dizzy heights of truly scary extended breastfeeding

even I am only just getting there and I have being working on it for years

[curlew]

21 weeks is still very little - let him have his milk and rocking a bit longer! BTW - he's far too young for controlled crying - I think even the people who think it's a good idea say you should wait til they're 6 months or so. At 21 weeks leaving him to cry will just make him think he's been abandoned IMHO. As Frannyandzooy said, you're not going to be feeding him to sleep when he's 14!Enjoy it while you can.

[nojopo]

what worked for us is once ds is upstairs for his last feed , we change his nappy/clothes in silence and stop all eye contact , same for the feed. he learnt to go down without much fuss after a week or so. if he does fuss have to say the baby whisperer technique did work for us. standing still with him over my shoulder firming patting on the back . keeping calm until he relaxed down and (finally!)went to sleep.he still needs putting to sleep in the daytime and the same patting on back does seem to work even if sometimes he starts crying when i start patting he always quietens down in the end.

[Poppy1976]

I don't want to do cc either but have a 17wk old son who wakes twice in the night. It may not be for you but we use a dummy- it works like a dream (so far, touch wood) for naps and night-time sleep. Basically we get him into his cot before he gets fractious, play his mobile for however long until he starts to grizzle then we pop a dummy in. If he's not ready to go off he won't take it so I try again a bit later. Once its in it seems to take only minutes before he's off to sleep and he spits it out. Same for night wake ups unless he truely needs feeding. I think that so long as they spit the dummy and don't wake up then its not a prop and it means that anyone can do out him down for a sleep. Plus in my opinion sucking is entirely natural for a baby so it can't be that bad?!! We don't use it at any other time so I guess it has become an effective sleep cue for him. Good luck!

[maggiesmama]

sure this isnt going to go down well, but i would REALLY recommend controlled crying. it took me 2 years to have the confidence/bravery/determination to do it. 2 yeards of broken nights and exhaustion - mine and my dd's. honestly, i really wish i had done it. because i was shattered, and that affected those years. but because she was too - and is SO much better now she gets a full night. not trying to pressure anyone - obviously its not for everyone - i just WISH WISH WISH i had done it. but, either way, good luck. x

[popeye123]

Hi,
I've been paranoid about feeding baby to sleep myself (DD now 8mths). I've only recently managed to improve the situation (too soon to say I've cracked it) but what seems to work is making sure she isn't too tired(even 30 mins can make a difference) and do the last feed with a lamp on rather than in near total darkness. I seemed to have trained her so well for the night feeds that as soon as its dark she just zonks. Sometimes, but not always, she'll take herself off before she's passed out (even with light on), I put her in the cot, give her a muslin and or toy to chew on , say goodnight, turn light off and leave. I tend to hear her moan a bit but (only) if she really starts to cry will I go in and give her a quick cuddle/rock to calm her down. To be honest, I haven't really noticed any great change in her overall night time sleep even when she's settled herself but it makes me feel better that she's hopefully not too dependant on me. However she goes to sleep I hear her stir and go back to sleep again so the thinking that they HAVE to go to sleep by themselves otherwise they WILL wake may not necessarily be true in all cases.