How to get a 2yo to self settle and sleep through?

[PickledLily]

Or at least to sleep through! DD has only ever slept through on a few occasions and needs to stroke/cuddle my arm to calm herself to sleep. She wakes at least once or twice at night and can't get herself back to sleep, she just gets upset and very awake. I've tried gradual retreat at bedtime, but she won't even let go of me without a massive scene that goes on for hours.

Any tips? Anyone else with a non-sleeping 2yo? All my friends 2yo are sleeping through as well as their 3mo, as one of my 'friends' keeps telling me

[MummyCoolski]

Where does she sleep?

That should probably be a) where is she supposed to sleep and b) where does she actually sleep?

[PickledLily]

She sleeps in a bed in her room, but by 3.30 I give up trying to get her back to sleep (she just won't by that time) so she comes in with us (and doesn't wake at all!)

[WoollyHooligan]

I'm afraid I don't have any useful advice, but just wanted to post as my 2 (almost 3) year old is the same! He'll only go to sleep if one of us is lying next week to him & while he'll sleep through happily in our bed, he wakes every few hours in his bed & needs one of us to lie next to him for ages again to get him back to sleep (which we're both far too lazy for at 3am). DC2 is due in the autumn so I'm hoping to have discovered the solution by then.
You're not alone! (I know what you mean about everyone else's children seeming to sleep like a dream )

[WoollyHooligan]

I should add that when he's in our bed he quite often strokes my arm in his sleep for reassurance, he sometimes just sleeps with his hand in my face instead!

[PickledLily]

Yes, that's exactly what DD does! An arm will appear from nowhere and wallop me across the face to check I'm still there.

Ironically, she only woke at 12 last night (3 times though) but then stayed in her bed until 6am. Keeping fingers crossed for another good night's sleep.

[catherinemm]

Following too! My 2.5 year old gets up if I move away from his bed while he's falling asleep, he likes to stroke my hair. He's in our bed by about midnight each night after we give Up and go and get him after his possibly 2nd or 3rd waking. He sleeps like a log in our bed but does it very impolitely - we have super king so plenty of room but he insists on lying horizontally and kicking me in the head. For this reason and because 2nd baby is imminent I would like him out. Coping strategy at the mo is for him to sleep with OH in spare room with me and baby in our room but I would much rather DS slept in own bed all night!!!

[WoollyHooligan]

It's so reassuring to know not all other 2 year olds are dream sleepers!

[MillionPramMiles]

2 is a tricky age - they're too old for traditional sleep training methods (CC etc) but a little too young potentially for reward/bribery where the reward isn't immediate.

Dd slept appallingly but only as a baby so I can't pretend to share your experience with a non-sleeping toddler. But two things I think help her sleep without our intervention:

• she's only allowed her dummy and her favourite teddy in her cot for sleeptime. If she leaves her cot, she has to leave them behind. This has helped a lot, they're strong sleep associations.
  
• blackout blinds and white noise - dd wakes frequently if there is light or noise. She used to wake frequently before we used white noise.
  

Good luck, I don't know how some of you cope, I'd be on my knees.

[catherinemm]

Interesting to read 2 is too old for controlled crying etc - I never knew that! Recently have made a few (probably too half arsed) attempts at controlled crying / gradual retreat type things with little or no success so maybe this is why! DS just gets up or cries louder. Maybe I'll have to wait til bribery is an option.

In some ways all this makes me wish I hade sleep trained earlier but in other ways I can't see myself doing anything different with the new baby - it feels wrong to me a do have to believe that the responsive parenting and co sleeping I have done is in part way responsive for the fact my son seems so happy, is so charming and has a vocabulary far beyond any 2 year olds I know. That stops me falling on my knees, just!!!!!

[PickledLily]

I didn't know it was too late for CC either. We never did it because DD had silent reflux, so could never be 100% sure it wasn't her reflux bothering her.

We have a black out blind as she was waking so early, but now she's decided she doesn't like the dark . Yet she sleeps until 6 (an acceptable hour in my book) in our room despite it being so light. I think temperature plays a part. It's impossible to regulate the temperature in her room overnight and she wakes up if she has a cover over her.

At least now I know I'm not the only one!

[ROARmeow]

You're not the only one >cries<

DC2 is just like the other children mentioned on this thread. My DC1 was a great sleeper, so DC2 is just so hard to deal with at times. I always assumed DC1 slept so great because of my wonderful routines etc, but really it's just a personality thing. DC2 just wants to party.

[Loopylala7]

Hi there, I feel like I've reached Crappy Sleepers Anonymous! My DD who has just turned 2, has in the last month joined ranks. I think we just had it to good, as before, we could put her down at 7pm, no crying, no complaining, she would roll over, go to sleep and wake between 6/7am. No longer.

About a month ago (co-inciding with her second birthday) she decides, enough with this, I wanna rebel! I think its taken us between an hour and a half to two and a half hours to get her to sleep each night over the last month. Its driving us insane.

I've put it down to the following; 3 month old sister, house move (last Feb) and a move to the older children's room in Nursery last month (she goes twice a week). I've read that its down to insecurity because of changes in their lives so this might add up.

I've done the whole sitting in the room and waiting for her to fall asleep, ignore her attempts at chats, keep putting her back in bed (feels like about 50 times a night!). She just thinks it's hilarious and laughs at me. I've tried leaving the room, she screams the house down. I literally feel like I'm being held hostage by my child.

We've always used soothing music and we are also trying our best to knacker her out in the day by going on long walks, oh and black out blinds are going up tomorrow…any suggestions?!!!

[Loopylala7]

oh and I forgot to mention, she's also waking between 3-5am screaming????

[mumsrthebest]

Loopylala7 thank God I have found someone who is in the same position as me. My DD is 2 years 5 months and in June we had two family holidays, decorated her bedroom and she began potty training. I feel that all these changes have an an impact on her. Whilst we were on holiday her routine was completely out as obviously we were on holiday so bedtimes were considerably later for her. On many occasions because it was new surroundings she slept in our bed with us. I know this was a big mistake but otherwise she would have screamed the hotel down.

Prior to this she would go to bed perfectly fine but now she insists on me being in her bedroom. I spoke with the health visitor and she advised me to sit in the room and wait for her to fall asleep and ignore her attempts at chats. She is in a cot but she has now learnt to roll herself over the top of the cot bars and fall on the floor. We took the side of the cot off and put a stairgate in her bedroom door but last night she managed to pull the stairgate off in rage!!!

We have a new bed for her but the health visitor has advised not to put this up as this will introduce a new change for her.

When we talk to her in the morning about how naughty she has been she just laughes.

My husband works early shift and has to be up for work at 3am most mornings. We are shattered!!!! Any advice? PLEASE HELP

[Littlef00t]

You can get gro bags even up to 2 years if that would work?

[ipswichwitch]

Don't really have any advice, just wanted to join the crappy sleepers anonymous club.
DS1 has always been an awful sleeper, co slept for a while just to survive really. When he was 2 he was diagnosed with sleep apnoea, due to his enlarged tonsils. Everyone said he'd sleep so much better after the tonsils and adenosine were removed, as he used to wake screaming when his breathing stopped. It was awful.

He's now 2.9 and had the surgery 2 months ago, and he's still up through the night. Not screaming anymore (thank God) but he still needs one of us to sit and hold his hand to go to sleep. He does have nightmares and night terrors too. That started with the sleep apnoea and still hasn't gone, although it may be an age thing too, and I think that why he wakes the majority of the time. We tried CC when he was younger but he'd scream an make himself sick.

DS2 is 7mo and was a fabulous sleeper, but now won't sleep unless it's in bed with us. Sometimes he only wakes a couple of times a night, other times (like last night) seems to be every 1-2 hours. We have tried leaving him a bit to see if he will turn over and self settle like he used to, but he screams and it's so loud he wakes DS1.

I'm due back at work in a month and I'm bloody knackered.